THE TRUTH ABOUT TRUTH:

All truth passes through three stages.
First, it is ridiculed.
Second, it is violently opposed.
Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.



Tuesday, October 20, 2009

HE GOT THE THUNDERBIRD WALK

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A dear Pal of mine sent me a link to this YouTube video along with a note saying, “Hopefully, you have never been this drunk.”

Actually, I probably have been, but fortunately for me, I slept through it. This poor bloke’s biggest problem was that he was still (sort of) upright and still (kind of) conscious long after most dudes in his condition have passed out.

If you can overlook the sadness of the whole affair, this might just be the funniest four minutes you’ve ever seen. (I was laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes . . . and a sudden urge to visit the restroom.)

The video gets stuck a couple of times – the first time for 17 seconds – but just be patient and it will begin moving again.

Remember the Thunderbirds television series of the mid-1960s? I used to watch it when I was a little boy. It was a futuristic show about this astronaut dude and his five sons who run around rescuing people. All of the characters in the show were marionettes.

I remember one morning in the very early 1980s, my buddy Cranium told me he knew I was heavily intoxicated the night before when he saw me enter the house “doing the Thunderbird walk.” The puppets in the Thunderbirds show all have this exaggerated motion when they walk because the limbs are all being operated by independent strings.

Well, when the guy in this video comes through the front door of the convenience market, he has got a case of “The Thunderbird Walk.” See if it doesn’t seem like his arms and legs are being independently operated by a drunken puppeteer:

Click Here:
‘Drunkest Guy Ever Goes For More Beer’ Video

~ STEPHEN T. McCARTHY,
Doggtor of Alcohology and (former) King of
Inebriation Nation
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Wednesday, October 14, 2009

FINALLY FOUND! A LAW ENFORCEMENT OFFICER I RESPECT

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Dogged if this isn’t the best article related to law enforcement that I have read in . . . uhm . . . forever? This appears in the latest edition of The New American magazine (October 12, 2009).

I can’t remember the last time I cheered a cop, so this dude is really something special. A cop with a brain bigger than his or her ego! Who’d a-thunk it? Who?

Read and cheer:

CAN THE COUNTY SHERIFF SAVE THE CONSTITUTION?

Written by Patrick Krey

Richard Mack, former sheriff of Graham County, Arizona, is not afraid to ruffle some feathers in order to halt what he considers violations of the U.S. Constitution.

In 1993, Congress passed the Brady Handgun Violence Prevention Act (commonly referred to as the Brady Bill), which was signed into law by President Bill Clinton and went into effect on February 28, 1994. A provision of the Brady Bill compelled state and local law-enforcement officials to perform mandatory background checks. Mack, then a Graham County sheriff, was outraged. In response, Mack gained distinction by being the first sheriff in the nation to file a lawsuit against the Brady Bill. The lawsuit made it all the way to the Supreme Court, which ruled that the provision was indeed unconstitutional as a violation of the Tenth Amendment principles of federalism.

Now Mack is once again making headlines with his latest effort to stand up for the Constitution. In a 50-page booklet entitled The County Sheriff: America’s Last Hope (available from his website
www.sheriffmack.com), Mack concisely explains what he believes is the proper role of law enforcement, as well as how your local sheriff can be the last line of defense for the U.S. Constitution. Mack passionately argues that real change is not going to come from Washington, D.C., but instead from local county sheriffs who finally stand up and stop being pawns in the federal government’s unconstitutional schemes. “We must start at home, in our counties, in our own ‘spheres.’ We must erect the barriers and keep those at bay who would confiscate bank accounts, guns, land, property, and children. Sheriff, you are the people’s sworn protector. You cannot shrink from that duty merely because the violator comes into town with a three piece suit and a fancy attaché case.”

In an interview with The New American, Sheriff Mack explained what his goal was with writing this booklet. “My goal is to educate sheriffs to their proper authority and their standing as the ultimate check and balance for the people in their county. If we are going to get back to those principles upon which our country was founded, then the county sheriff has to be involved in that process. That’s where we are today. We don’t have anywhere else to turn, so why not turn to the guy who promised to do just that?”

Why just 50 pages? Mack explains: “I know law enforcement and I know sheriffs; they’re not going to get involved in anything that’s too long. They can read this really easily and there’s no excuse not to read it.” Mack has started a campaign via his website to distribute one booklet to each sheriff in the United States. “We have about six states covered right now. We’re going to keep moving and identify sheriffs in the country who have the guts to fulfill their constitutional duty.”

The County Sheriff: Hope for America


Mack’s experience with fighting federal gun-control legislation of the mid ’90s was quite the learning experience for him. “So here’s the U.S. Congress making an unconstitutional gun-control law, requiring a county official to enforce it and pay for it, and then threatening to arrest him if he refuses! What a government!”

Looking back on the episode, though, Mack wishes he handled things differently. “In retrospect … I wish I had never filed it. The most effective and inexpensive measure that should have been taken was for all the sheriffs of Arizona to simply send the Brady Bill back to Congress with a CC to the White House and with a strongly worded explanation as to why the Brady Bill, or 20 more just like it, would have no place in Arizona.” Mack suggests that a non-complying county sheriff would be a much more efficient and effective way to restore constitutional governance to the land of the free than endless legal challenges in federal courts filled with politically appointed lawyers. “Sheriff Nixon from Lincoln County, Montana, did just that. He didn’t join our lawsuit. He just said, ‘No, I’m not enforcing the Brady Bill,’ and he didn’t. We won a major landmark monumental decision but the sheriffs in this country have the authority to say ‘no’ to the federal government and that’s what we all should have done.”

Who Is Sheriff Richard Mack?


Mack, who started his law-enforcement career in the Provo police department in Utah during the late ’70s, doesn’t mince words when it comes to describing his personal transformation from a standard police officer to a committed constitutionalist. “I was … a by-the-numbers jerk.… We had to write tickets and lots of them. We needed arrests and felonies and DUIs and druggies in jail and our efforts supported in the newspapers. I got caught up in all of this and loved it. We literally justified our existence — on the backs of citizens.” Then in the early ’80s, Mack went undercover for a one-year assignment in narcotics, and it got him to question the entire war on drugs. “What was this all for? Why did so many people have to go to jail because of marijuana, especially when it was less harmful than alcohol? Is law enforcement really about public service, or public harassment?”

His soul searching, combined with years of research, led him to the following conclusion: “I am now totally convinced that the ‘Drug War’ is a farce. It provides no benefit to the public and actually makes the drug problem worse.” This personal epiphany didn’t just stop at the issue of drug prohibition but also extended to the entire method of using law enforcement as a revenue-raising tool for government. “I got fed up with the numbers game in law enforcement and with the idea that we, the police, were here to force people to wear their seat belts and to have their papers [license, registration, insurance, inspection, etc.] in order before they could freely go about their lives.”

Mack looked at the way law enforcement was being handled and didn’t see public servants searching for the truth or advocating the rights of the accused. Instead, he saw a system contrary to what he in his heart believed to be right. “It is a corrupt system based on ‘win-loss’ records. Principles of freedom and equality are bypassed in order to concentrate on the money-generating numbers and plea bargains. If innocent citizens get nailed in the process, then it is ... considered collateral damage.” Mack didn’t just see abuses being perpetrated at the state level but also at the federal level in a much more flagrant and blatant manner.

Greatest Threat to America: The Federal Government


What does Sheriff Mack view as the biggest threat facing America today? Global warming? Terrorism? The swine flu? Again, Mack pulls no punches and states exactly what is on his mind. “The greatest threat we face, as a nation, is our own federal government.” Mack’s opposition to federal overreach is not limited to just when Democrats control the levers of federal power. Mack staunchly opposes right-wing overreach. He vigorously objects to an interventionist foreign policy, as well as abusive national-security tactics applied domestically. “The elitists of Washington, D.C., including those of both major parties, have turned America into a socialistic democratic dictatorship. We are a police state and welfare state all rolled into one enormous gluttonous debt.”

Sheriff Mack does not see a bright future for America if we don’t turn back the clock on the expansive growth of government. “It is a mathematical certainty that the bigger the government, the smaller the freedom. You cannot have huge government and abundant freedom simultaneously.”

Saying “No” to the Feds


For those who are absolutely fed up with the constant violations of the U.S. Constitution, Sheriff Mack’s proposition to nullify federal overreach by just saying “no” is entirely practical advice.

The notion of state interposition, or state nullification of unconstitutional federal laws, is a concept as old as our Republic; Mack’s proposal to extend it to the county sheriff level merely adds a new decentralist twist. Could such a proposal possibly work? Michael Boldin, the founder of the Tenth Amendment Center and an expert on the subject of state nullification, believes that it could. Boldin told The New American, “It’s my opinion that the best way to resist the federal government and its incessant violations of the Constitution is not to continually try to ‘vote the bums out’ every election season, but instead, to virtually ignore it. Nullification, simply saying no to federal laws outside the scope of their constitutionally delegated authority, is the path to liberty for this country. It’s powerful, it’s peaceful, and it works, as can be seen in the state-level revolt against the Real ID Act of 2005. In 2007, multiple states passed resolutions refusing to implement the federal Real ID act on grounds that it was unconstitutional. Instead of attempting to force the law to implementation, the federal government delayed implementation, and earlier this month the Obama administration announced that it was looking to ‘repeal and replace’ the controversial law.”

Has the time come for such action? Boldin believes that the time has definitely come. “James Madison, in his report of 1800, said that interposition must not be employed ‘either in a hasty manner, or on doubtful and inferior occasions.’ And he was quite right. But, with the massive amount of constitutional overreach coming from the federal government, choosing one overreach to resist is like shooting fish in a bucket.”

The Next Step


What kind of feedback has Mack received from other sheriffs who have read his book? “Sheriffs from Oregon, Montana, Colorado, Washington, and Wisconsin have all voiced overwhelming support and ... are getting more on board every day.” The only type of negative feedback he has received is from “a couple [of sheriffs] who have expressed reluctance, but most of those just boil down to whether or not they have the guts to do it. I think most of them know this is true but just don’t want to be the tester to see if it really works.”

Indeed, as Mack is quick to point out, “There are already several examples of sheriffs and local governments standing against federal intrusiveness.” Mack highlights an incident in Nye County, Nevada, where the local sheriff told federal agents that if they tried to confiscate cattle from a local rancher, he would arrest them. The feds backed down and the cattle remained. Mack explains, “For federal officers to come in to the county and take over in any respect is the epitome of usurpation, and he who is the rightful steward of the county needn’t tolerate any such usurpations whatsoever.”

As far as federal legislation requiring the action of local sheriffs, Mack asserts that “they’re entirely meaningless and have no way of being enforced unless [the county sheriff] says so.” Mack argues that the worst that can happen is that the sheriff will lose out on some federal funding.

Mack himself acknowledges how very revolutionary his proposal is, but argues that it is vital to preserve our freedoms. “I know this all sounds radical. Standing for freedom has always been labeled as radical, but ‘extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice,’ to quote Barry Goldwater.”

Mack stands firmly by his warning that for “the tyrant to win … the only thing that has to happen is for the nation’s police and sheriffs to be convinced that all laws must be enforced.”


I doff my cowboy hat to Sheriff Mack and applaud his genuine American patriotism!

~ Stephen T. McCarthy
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Monday, October 12, 2009

SEX, TATTOOS & VIOLENCE R US - #5

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NOTICE
A couple of weeks ago, a friend of mine, unfamiliar with the ‘Sex, Tattoos & Violence R Us’ format, I guess, told me that he “had trouble following” issue #4. Hmmm… I wouldn’t think it necessary to point this out but . . . ‘Sex, Tattoos & Violence R Us’ is simply a collection of unrelated items posted in a single Blog installment. To paraphrase the “Notice” Mark Twain placed at the beginning of ‘The Adventures Of Huckleberry Finn’: Persons attempting to find a Motive in this Blog Bit will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a Moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a Plot in it will be shot.

Now, do we understand each other? In ‘Sex, Tattoos & Violence R Us’ each Bit O’Smart-Assness following each Big Purple Headline is an entity unto itself. The subjects change with each new subject and none is in any way related to the former subject or the next subject, unless I say so (and I rarely say so). Always be watching for the next Big Purple Headline which will indicate to you that a new topic is about to be addressed. In fact, I think I see one of those Big Purple Headlines approaching now . . .

.SPOKEN LIKE A TRUE BACHELOR
Last weekend, Brother Nappy and I were going somewhere and somehow my conversation turned to the tendency that some women have to neglect their figures shortly after getting married. Nappy put it more bluntly: “As soon as a wedding ring is put on a woman’s finger, she picks up the fork.”
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PRESIDENT BARACK “USAP” OBAMA WINS THE 2009 NOBEL PEACE PRIZE
There’s no comment necessary when you can read my mind.

REWARDING REBELLION AGAINST GOD AND GOOD TASTE
The Nobel Piece (O’Crap) Prize; the Academy Awards; The Emmys; The Grammys; The Golden Globes – win a major award in "this world" and you can be pretty sure that YOU SUCK!

I think the hottest places in hell are reserved for those with the most trophies. (“Hey, that’s a beautiful Trophy Wife you’ve got there, Bud!”)
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NFL WTF?!
A couple of Sundays ago, the Seattle Seahawks were wearing the most atrocious neon lime-green football jerseys ever seen. Yesterday, the Denver Broncos may have topped them - attired in these goofy, crap brown and piss yellow Ronald McDonald uniforms. How they managed to beat the evil New England Patriots dressed like that I’ll never know. (I’m just grateful for the victory.) But I have two questions: Who the hell in the NFL is responsible for all these ridiculous retro uniforms that NFL teams are wearing these days? And has the lamebrain been fired yet? (If not, why not?!)

America’s favorite sport is fielding these butt-ugly uniforms every week now, and this has been going on for a couple of years. You turn on the TV and you think you’re watching community college football or something. Look, there’s a good reason that teams eventually abandoned these old uniforms and updated their looks. These old styles were at one time deemed inferior and THAT’S WHY THE TEAMS CHANGED THEM! Does it make any sense at all to trot out these horrible old uniforms that were later replaced with something better? The game officials on the field are perhaps dressed worst of all; they look like neon orange Great Pumpkins. ‘Get A Clue, Charlie Brown!’

I wish NFL teams would just wear their modern jerseys and screw this stupid retro idea. And I wish that baseball would quit with the ‘God Bless America’ bit and go back exclusively to ‘Take Me Out To The Ballgame’ during the Seventh-Inning Stretch. Enough is ENOUGH!

BUSY SCHEDULE
Speaking of football: Yesterday I overheard Brother Nappy in the other room yakkin’ on the phone with some bloke about joining a new gym. The salesman invited Nappy to come down and check the place out and my brother said he would if he found the time, but as he explained, “There are several things that I need to get done today, including watching football.”

I don’t think The Napster heard me, but I was laughing out loud in the other room. That Nappy’s a funny dude . . . I just wish he’d clean up the kitchen and stop waking me up in the mornings.
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DUSTING OFF A DAISY OF A QUOTE
The other day, I placed a new book about edible plants into one of my Revelation Boxes (large plastic containers filled with survival necessities in preparation for what is surely comin’). While I was poking around in there I found my favorite compact Holy Bible (with the “Dusty Rose” cover) which my Ma purchased for me years ago. And opening it up, I rediscovered a great quote written inside the front cover that I’d so forgotten about that it fell into disuse.

I once used this quote frequently. I don’t know who came up with it, but I’m dusting it off and you can expect to see me tossing it about every so often again, now that I’ve unearthed the gem:

DARE TO BE A DANIEL;
DARE TO STAND ALONE;
DARE TO HAVE A PURPOSE FIRM,
AND DARE TO MAKE IT KNOWN.



ATHEISTDICK PSEUDO-SCIENTIST CALLED OUT AND PUSSES OUT
On October 8th, I happened to tune in for a few minutes to Michael Medved’s radio talk show. I can’t stand that phony conservative deceiver, but I do listen to maybe 15 minutes of talk radio most days, just to keep up on what the big stories of the week are.

Michael Medved happened to be interviewing Richard (“Dick”) Dawkins about religion and atheism (a.k.a. “Evolution”) and one caller really called Dick out. He proposed that Dick publicly meet Dr. Stephen C. Meyer in a formal, civil debate on the subject of Darwinian Evolution vs. Intelligent Design. How do you suppose that atheistdick pseudo-scientist responded? You know Dick Dawkins, right? The zoologist who once blatantly lied in one of his books about there being a computer model showing how the human eye evolved? The strident God-hater who got his butt handed to him on a silver platter by Ben Stein in the documentary ‘EXPELLED: No Intelligence Allowed’ ? (You really should make it a point to see that movie if you haven’t already!)

Well, Dick responded to the debate proposal by declining it. His reason? He claimed that just debating Dr. Meyer would be giving undeserved “respectability” to Meyer’s position. Ha!-Ha! Can you believe that sh#t?! PUSS!-PUSS!-PUSS!-PUSS!-PUSS!-PUSS! Dick reminds me of the little boy on the playground who protests, “I WOULD fight you, only I don’t want to get my new pants dirty.”

DICK!-DAWK! DICK!-DAWK! DICK!-DAWK!
With No-Show Defenses like that, time is seriously running out for Darwinism. Why, I’ll bet that even some Airheadzonans are beginning to question the idea of Evolution. And when one of its loudest, most obnoxious proponents like Dick Dawkins is afraid to meet one of Intelligent Design’s most respected authorities in open debate, it’s only a matter of time before EVERYONE comes to realize that Darwinism still hasn’t developed a leg to stand on.

Speaking of Talk Radio . . .

(IT’S JUST) YAK
I can’t understand how anyone could spend much time listening to radio talk shows, much less calling into them. Listen to a variety talk show hosts for a week and you will discover that all of them do almost ALL the talking. They constantly interrupt their callers, often not even allowing their callers to get to their main point, let alone actually getting the opportunity to develop it for the listeners. Frequently a caller will be kept on hold for 30, 40, 50 or 60 minutes, only to have the host finally get to him or her and say, “We’re up against the clock and need to go to commercial break. Quickly, in thirty seconds…” Now that would really tick me off!

Plus, the hosts will always “Silence” the caller and then dump him/her if the host is not faring well in the debate at hand.

Over a decade ago, I called the Bob Mohan show here in Phoenix when Mohan (supposedly a Conservative) was going on and on about so-called “Separation Of Church And State.” It was obvious to me that he didn’t know what the hell he was talking about, and clearly did not have a genuine understanding of the U.S. Constitution on this issue (or probably any other, for that matter).

So I called in and got on the air and I was making Mohan look like a fool. At one point, Mohan got mad and blurted out, “Wait a minute! Maybe you’ve never read this! Are you familiar with THIS?!” and I could hear him fumbling around through papers on his desk trying to locate something. I went with my hunch and said, “Is this what you’re trying to find?” and I began reciting the First Amendment. Mohan says, “Yeah! That’s what I was going to say. What about that?” So, I started politely explaining the actual meaning of the First Amendment to him and he got even madder, made some final snide remark and disengaged me from the phone line.

The next caller intended to disagree with Mohan too, but he prefaced his remarks with, “I hope you’re not going to hang up on me like you did with that last caller.” Mohan told an A-List Lie and said that he had not hung up on me – that our discussion had simply ended there. Then a woman called in, and while she was having a noncontroversial discussion with Mohan, he said, “Could you believe that one caller [meaning me]? He thinks that… ‘such and such and so and so’.” I was glad to hear the woman back me up and say, “Well, that’s not exactly what I took him to mean--” Mohan interruped and quickly changed the subject.

Anyway, Talk Radio is merely propaganda, even when it seems to be colored a shade ‘Conservative.’ If you want to really increase your understanding of politics, you’ll need to read well-researched books; there’s just no way around that. Talk Radio is just unsatisfying spin from The Red Team.

"IS THAT A BICYCLE PUMP IN YOUR POCKET OR ARE YOU JUST GLAD TO SEE ME?"
Hokey-Smoke and Hoo-Wee!
Some of these new inflatable women they’re making these days are really . . .
uhm . . . well . . .
just see for yourself:
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That hair color would take some getting used to (it’ll probably wind up on some NFL jersey next Sunday). Nevertheless, I would consider trading in my girlfriend Ariel for a newer, enhanced, T-T-Triple D model like those available nowadays, only Ariel would kill me so bad I’d wish I was dead.
[*Credit the great Jim Stafford for that line.]

rLEE-b ‘N’ ME
A few days ago, I was reading my ol’ friend Arlee Bird’s Blog “Tossing It Out.” [You too can read it by clicking RIGHT HERE.]
.He asked this question:

>>[I am curious to know what works for other writers. Do you write the story as you have planned it or does it just come to you while you are writing it? I would imagine there is some of both involved, but which method is most effective for you and how well does it work?]<<
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So, I replied with this:

rLEE-b ~
When writing anything, I always have a pretty good idea of where I’m going with it first. I once read that Joseph Heller wrote ‘Catch-22’ by just writing the first sentence that came into his mind and then building upon it, allowing the story to create itself. I’d like to try that someday, but my mind is so analytical that it would be an unnatural method for me and I suspect I’ll just end up with a mess.

So, I always have a pretty clear idea of points A and Z and sometimes a few letters in between, usually just a mental outline (would that be an “inline”?) and I fill in the spaces between the “Letters” or “Plot Points.” But for me, the most enjoyable or satisfying part of writing is the “magic” that occurs while I’m filling in those spaces between Beginning (A) and Ending (Z). Along the way, totally unforeseen things almost aways present themselves – analogies, wordplay, puns, a unique or funny phrase, a previously unrealized connection between two things, etc. When these ideas suddenly present themselves by flashing into my mind from seemingly nowhere, that’s when I’m having fun with the writing. I don’t particularly enjoy the “act” of writing, but the payoff for me is when some imaginative or clever thought explodes into my mind while my fingers are clicking on the keyboard, and then I get to go off and explore that new idea which seems to have come from God because it was previously unseen by me.

Back when I was writing reviews for Amazon.com, one day I decided I was going to write a review for a product called “O'Keeffe's Working Hands hand crème.” When I put the blank piece of paper on the table in front of me, all I knew in advance was that I really liked the product and I was going to title the review “I’ve Got To Hand It To Them...” Beyond that, I had no idea what I was going to say. So I wrote the title down and then just started writing. In about 5 minutes the entire review was completed and required almost no rewriting at all. I just stood back, laughed and thought: Where the heck did THAT come from? In this case, the entire piece of writing was “magic”, rather than it containing just a few bits of magic within a preconceived trip from A to Z. Although this wasn’t my favorite review which I wrote, in a way, it was the most fun, and I always referred to it afterwards as “my magic review.” (Maybe I’ll post it on one of my Blogs someday.)

Anyway, for me, writing really is like taking a road trip: I always know where I’m starting from and where I intend to end up, and there are a few things I expect to see along the way, but the highlights of the trip are usually those unplanned things that happen on the way, the things I couldn’t foresee that I would experience. Sort of like the time a friend and I were driving from N.Y.C. to L.A. and intending to see the Florida Keys during the trip. Although we did reach L.A., we didn’t see The Keys because we got sidetracked by our curiosity along the way and wound up lost one night, on foot, in the Okefenokee Swamp and surrounded by alligators. At one point, we feared we might have to sleep overnight in there. The story we were able to tell later was much more exciting than it would have been had we driven right through Georgia and straight to The Keys.


Well, I got to thinking: Why put off until tomorrow what I can post today?

So, I have posted just below this installment of ‘Sex, Tattoos & Violence R Us’ the O’Keeffe’s Working Hands Hand Cream review which I referred to above. If you have time and dry skin, check it out; if you don’t have ‘em, toddle off.

This has been another fine Stephen T. McCarthy & Ariel O. O’Airedale production, brought to you by our sponsor LONESOME DOGG SALOON: “Go where the locals go to get hammered!”

Back Issues:
SEX, TATTOOS & VIOLENCE R US - #4
SEX, TATTOOS & VIOLENCE R US - #3
SEX, TATTOOS & VIOLENCE R US - #2
SEX, TATTOOS & VIOLENCE R US - #1

Forerunner to S. T. & V. R US:
7 Remastered RANDOM THOUGHTS + 1 Previously Unreleased BONUS TRACK And 1 ALTERNATE TAKE
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I GOTTA HAND IT TO 'EM . . .

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[From the STMcC archive; 2006, March 3rd.]




Dry Skin Hand Cream: O’KEEFFE’S WORKING HANDS

Grade: A

I GOTTA HAND IT TO 'EM . . .

...O'Keeffe's 'Working Hands Handcreme' really works. This is hands down the best remedy for dry, cracked hands that I've ever found.

Out here in Airheadzona it's a notoriously dry climate - so dry in fact, that it has given birth to our most popular regional joke: "But it's a DRY heat!" Come spend some time out here with us (if you're stupid enough) and you'll hear this joke repeated ad nauseam. You'll find it on the lips of every brain-baked resident, and on coffee cups and T-shirts accompanied by images of skeletons crawling across the desert wasteland where only snakes, coyotes, roadrunners, cacti, and idiots seem to survive.

But we experience this dryness not just during the hot Summer months - May through sometimes October - but even during (what we call) "Winter." And the joke can sometimes be heard even when we manage to get a little precipitation:

"Man! Was it raining cats and dogs last night, or what?"

"Yeah, but it's a dry rain."

Of course, usually it's too dry to rain. (As I write this, Phoenix is in the midst of a near record-setting drought. We have not seen drops of anything, wet OR dry, falling out of our sky for 135 consecutive days!) I hope to capitalize on our reputation someday by opening my own Phoenix business which I intend to name, 'BUT IT'S A DRY CLEANERS.'

For me, the Airheadzona dryness affects my hands the worst from December through February. In the past I've had my fingers tortured by those deep cracks that develop along the nails and across the joints. We're talkin' painful paper cut-like wounds ("skin splits") that open up and can take 3 and 4 weeks to heal. I've tried innumerable hand cream and lotion products over the years to avoid these skin ruptures. Jergens? Forget it. Lubriderm? No good. Corn Husker's Lotion? Not bad; absorbed better than any other brand, but it needs to be reapplied constantly.

Late last November or early December, when I felt that dry, unpleasant sensation of oncoming "skin splits" along my finger joints, I picked up a jar of O'Keeffe's 'Working Hands' - attracted to the lovely green container and the idea that it was something new to me.

The directions read: "Apply at bedtime and 2-4 times daily." So I rubbed the stuff into my hands very well for 4 or 5 consecutive nights at bedtime, and during the day once or twice in that 4 or 5 day period. And I don't mean once or twice each day, I mean once or twice TOTAL during that span of time. The dryness disappeared and my hands were quickly rejuvenated.

Since those 4 or 5 days and nights, I've used O'Keeffe's every so often, only when I felt that wizened tautness across my joints and around the nails. That feeling is always gone within a day or two. This is the first (what we call) "Winter" in my eleven (what we call) "Winters" in Airheadzona, that I have not experienced a single "skin split" in my eight fingers and one thumb. (Lost a thumb in '96 when the "skin splits" forced me to chop it off to get some relief from the pain!)

O'Keeffe's 'Working Hands' works on hands (feet too, they say) and is "safe and effective for diabetics." Although it does leave just the SLIGHTEST abnormal feeling on the hands (feels almost like a fine powder has been applied), that's a small price to pay for the remarkable healing it provides.

Do your hands need help? Give 'em a helping hand with O'Keeffe's 'Working Hands Handcreme.' The stuff is so concentrated that this one jar I purchased will probably last me a decade...or until I wise up and move out of Airheadzona - whichever comes first.

(Yeah, we're humorous out here, but it's a "dry" humor.)

~ Stephen T. McCarthy
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Wednesday, October 7, 2009

OUR EEK!-CONOMY

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The following items appear in the latest issue of The New American magazine [9/28/2009]. I figured I would share them with you because I know that left to fend for yourselves you’d never find them and be less the wiser for it. I don’t know why I watch out for you people, I really don’t - but I do.

WHY END THE FED?
An excerpt from Charles Scaliger’s review of
Ron Paul’s latest book, ‘END THE FED.’

Unfortunately, many people have allowed themselves to be persuaded that economics, banking, and finance are numinous, abstract disciplines best left to the experts. But we ignore these topics to our considerable detriment. Dr. Paul writes:


“Everyone should have an intense interest in what money is and how it’s manipulated by the few at the expense of the many. Money is crucial for survival. It is necessary for maintaining a free society. A healthy economy depends on it. Limiting political power is impossible without it. Sound money is essential for preventing unnecessary wars. Prosperity and peace in the long run are impossible without it. To understand money, one absolutely must understand what a central bank is all about.”

For you few knuckleheads who still believe that USAP is going to save this country and that we will be rolling in dough and swimming in champagne again soon, I give you this dose of reality. See if you can find your promised HOPE and CHANGE anywhere below:

WILL THE U.S. LEARN FROM JAPAN?
By John F. McManus

“Imagine a team of doctors who think more poison is the solution to poisoning.” That’s the attention-getting opening sentence leading off an invitation to attend a conference exploring the disaster known as the Obama administration. Good analogy!

The team of experts currently running this nation has been administering its own type of poison to combat our nation’s economic downturn. Predictably, the recession isn’t ending. Instead, the nation wallows in a self-imposed and deepening quagmire.

If the Obama economic team (Geithner, Summers, and Volcker, along with recently re-anointed Fed Chairman Bernanke) really wanted to steer the United States out of the economic doldrums, they could learn from Japan’s experience over the past 17 years. The once-booming Asian nation saw its inflation-created bubble explode in 1992. Government program after government program has been tried to reverse Japan’s doldrums, but the nation is still stuck in its long-standing recession.

On August 30, Japan’s voters finally said they’d had enough of the ruling political party’s 55 years of almost uninterrupted domination. In a monumentally historic rout, voters awarded the Democratic Party of Japan (DPJ) 308 of the 480 seats in the Lower House. DPJ already has control of the Upper House via a coalition and is now assured of complete control. The victorious party’s leader, Yukio Hatoyama, will form a completely new government. Defeated Liberal Democratic Party (LDP) leader, Prime Minister Taro Aso, saw his Lower House representation shrink by almost two-thirds in the August 30 avalanche.

Viewers from afar surely wonder what happened. The answer is a combination of enormous debt and a procession of government programs that didn’t work, leading to failure to reverse serious economic stagnation. During the 17 years since Japan’s bubble burst, LDP political leaders had been insisting they had the answers to rising unemployment, the business slowdown, a rapidly aging population, and debt. They asked the people to give them more time to cure the nation’s woes. The people finally said no.

Japan’s defeated leaders insist they tried everything. And they really did except for the one solution needed above all: get the government out of the way and let the people solve the problem. Japan’s central bank lowered interest rates, increased the money supply, and issued loans to businesses. The government created massive public works programs. There were bailouts for companies and banks, and some were nationalized. And on top of all of this, stimulus packages shoveled money at the people. But after 17 years of all of this governmental action, Japan’s long stagnation continues.

It’s all there for anyone to see. Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner could see it if he cared to look. So could the president’s Director of the National Economic Council Lawrence Summers and the Chairman of the Economic Recovery Board Paul Volcker. And we can be certain that Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke knows what happened in Japan. These key advisers to President Obama
aren’t stupid and aren’t denied access to factual information.

Yet, look at what America’s experts have done in response to our nation’s recession. In every detail, they did exactly what Japan has been doing for 17 years. They cut interest rates, launched public works programs, handed out business loans and bailouts, and created stimulus packages, while the Fed manufactured trillions [*STMcC: of "funny money"] out of thin air. The result: our nation remains mired in our own slowdown. What happened in Japan is being repeated here.

Various economists and media luminaries tell us that the United States is now “rounding the corner,” “pulling out of the doldrums,” and “poised for a return to prosperity.” But the best news they can produce is that unemployment hasn’t risen as much as they predicted. [*STMcC: Actually, they can’t even make THAT claim now!] We’re not supposed to note that jobs are still disappearing and the country as a whole is still suffering. Our nation’s only growth industry today is government itself.

In choosing an alternative to their long-serving political party, Japan’s voters have installed a possibly even worse choice. The DPJ wrongly blames free-market economics for Japan’s problems when true free-market policies have already been shunned. Attacking the government’s budget deficit by cutting waste, a DPJ claim, has been a minimally effective plan wherever it has been presented as a solution to indebtedness. The DPJ’s plans to subsidize farmers and cancel toll-taking on highways will be costly and costs will surely exceed whatever is saved by attacking waste. And the DPJ’s promise to deal with the declining birth rate by paying families $270 per month per child is hardly going to reduce government spending. Summing up: the Hatoyama government will no more spend Japan into prosperity than will the Obama government here in America.

America could learn from Japan’s woes. But there is no evidence that our current leaders have either the will or the desire to do the needed learning. Voters here must be made aware of the consequences of more government programs so that they don’t follow Japan’s lead by applying more poison when an already-applied dose has made the nation sicker.

Anyone with even half an ounce of grey matter in their head knows that our Eek!-conomy is five and ½ feet deep and USAP and his jolly band of Marxists are still shoveling their crap on top of it. None of this makes any sense until one understands that saving our system is not the real goal, but that sinking us monetarily while amassing more Federal control is the true End Game. And anyone who thinks that electing John McCain to the White House would have been a smarter move is a real schmo. The goal isn’t set by presidents; presidents merely follow orders from those who ensured their elections.

My suggestions to you?

#1: Get out of all debt as quickly as possible.
No, you don’t need the latest cell phone that wipes your butt for you after you’ve visited the john. And you need that new Chevy truck “like a rock” needs a new Chevy truck. Stop trying to impress yer “brainiac” neighbors who voted for USAP or McCain just like you did, and just get out of debt.

#2: Liquidate all the paper assests you can.

#3: Purchase semi-numismatic gold coins and circulated silver dollars. If you can’t afford the gold, then just stockpile circulated silver coins; they will come in handy when you need to barter for toilet paper. (Unless, of course, that butt-wiping cell phone you bought is still functional.)

#4: And most importantly . . . get right with GOD. Because in the final analysis, He and He alone can protect you through the cosmic dust devil that’s a-comin’.

I’m letting you know right up front that anyone who takes my advice is a fool, and anyone who doesn’t is an even bigger fool. And good luck to you, you’ll need it.

Me? I’m nearly certain that I will be martyred by good ol’ Uncle Sam. I only hope that my life will later be determined to have been of such sufficient character that the Catholic church will declare me a “saint” and make me the patron saint of something (even though I’ve never been Catholic). I’d like to follow in the footsteps of my hero, Yoey O’Dogherty, who is the patron saint of patron saint medals.

~ Stephen T. McCarthy
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Monday, October 5, 2009

FERRET-FACED FASCIST FRIENDS: FAQ

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Ferret-Faced Fascist Friends

Frequently Asked Questions

This FAQ page was constructed by Stephen T. McCarthy who rearranged and/or rewrote segments of Email correspondence and posted Internet comments from friends (and others) in order to compile it. If you don’t find an answer to your question somewhere below, then click on the link provided at the end, or post your question in the comment section of this Blog Bit. We will try to provide satisfying answers to any questions posed . . . as long as you don’t call us anything worse than a “Fascist.”

Q: How big of an idiot takes one of the great films of the 20th century and turns it into right wing propaganda?

A: A pretty big one. One about the size of John Wayne, if not physically, at least in terms of patriotism and heart.

Q: Aren’t you concerned that using the word “Fascist” in your Blog’s name might turn off the casual Blog explorer? In other words, that it might scare off someone before they've read it and come to understand that it is simply grassroots Constitutionalist in origin, and is a stinging and sometimes satirical commentary on the political and social (un)healthiness of the country?

A: No one ever refers to himself or herself as a fascist. Even radical Leftists, who truly ARE fascists in the literal sense of the word, NEVER refer to themselves as fascists. In fact, they frequently refer to their non-fascistic opponents as “fascists.” So, I think very few readers stumbling upon this Blog and seeing the self-applied "fascist" label would take it seriously. I think most people would immediately suspect, at the very least, that there’s more to the title than meets the eye.

Actually, I think it’s possible that the title might even cause a few casual Blog “explorers” to be curious enough about the title to give it a quick read.

Anyhow, since only a few friends of mine were regular readers of this Blog when it was titled ‘Xtremely Un-P.C. And Unrepentant’, I figure I have NOTHING TO LOSE with the name change. What’s the worst that can happen? Everyone CONTINUES to ignore the Blog? Nothing from nothing leaves nothing; you gotta have something to have something to lose.

Q: I myself have been called a Fascist a number of times. Does being called a Fascist bother you?

A: I would have no respect for you at all if you had never been called a Fascist at one time or another by a Liberal. I mean, being called a Fascist is a conservative’s Coming Out Party in the world of politics; that’s your Baptism there. A person has no way of knowing that they are on the correct Founding Fathers’ path until a CommieLibSocialist has referred to him or her as a Fascist. In fact, had you never been called a Fascist, you could be no friend of mine.

I just beamed with pride the first time a CommieLibSocialist called me a Fascist – I knew that politically, I had finally ARRIVED! I just threw my chest out, tucked my chin in and strutted down the street knowing that I now represented EVERYTHING that every Marxism-lover hated. I wear my Fascist label with great pride.

Q: Do you expect your Blog to make a greater impact now that it has acquired a new name?

A: I’m sure that FERRET-FACED FASCIST FRIENDS will meet with no more success than its predecessor. But it’s MINE! - my own failure. Ha! I only wish that I had named my Blog
F-F F F from the beginning.

Q: Is there a hidden meaning in the name of this Blog?

A: There is nothing hidden; everything is right out in the open. It was Jesus Christ who said: “Whatever I tell you in the dark, speak in the light; and what you hear in the ear, preach on the housetops.” We at Ferret-Faced Fascist Friends believe in full disclosure . . . unlike a certain president who shall remain nameless, who claims to stand for “transparency” and yet refuses to allow the American People to see his original, authentic birth certificate.

I like the new title MUCH better than the old one. Obviously, the alliteration of it appeals to me and I also like the way the syllables roll off the tongue in a 2-1 2 1 fashion. And of course, I like the idea of embracing what was meant as an insult.

‘Xtremely Un-P.C. And Unrepentant’ was a better indication of the material this Blog contains, but I’ve always been a sucker for that turning-of-the-tables thang by CELEBRATING someone else’s criticism of you and wearing it like a badge of honor, a la Lynyrd Skynyrd and Led Zeppelin:

Some of the Skynyrd boys knew each other in high school and had a gym teacher named Leonard Skinner, who was notorious for enforcing the school's policy against boys having long hair, and he was always telling the future Lynyrd Skynyrd members how they’d never amount to anything. Well, they bastardized the gym teacher’s name and took it for their band, and the rest, as they say, is Rock ‘N’ Roll history, baby!

As for Led Zeppelin, the first story I ever heard about their name was that shortly after Page and Co. formed their first band, a Rock critic told the boys that their venture into music was destined to go down like a lead zeppelin. So they took that name and proved him, OH, SO VERY WRONG!

So, that’s the idea behind the name of this Blog. I’ve taken a ridiculous slur that some Lefty directed at me and EMBRACED IT. The best revenge is to laugh in the face of your accuser. Well, actually, THE BEST revenge would be success, but since my Blog will NEVER have that, I figure THE NEXT BEST revenge is to laugh in the face of Joan Padilla, although Joan was far from being the first Lib to call me a Fascist.

Q: Is it because you are not afraid to speak your mind no matter who it pisses off that your Blogs are so powerful?

A: Yes.

Q: Is that also why you are always in someone’s doghouse?

A: Yes.

Q: Can you loan me some money until payday?

A: No.

Link to additional information:
FERRET-FACED FASCIST FRIENDS: New Name But Same Political Incorrectness.
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