THE TRUTH ABOUT TRUTH:

All truth passes through three stages.
First, it is ridiculed.
Second, it is violently opposed.
Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.



Tuesday, September 16, 2014

“THERE AIN’T BUT THE ONE THING MAKES MISTER JOHNSON DRINK”

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I fell in love with the music of ROBERT JOHNSON in the late 1970s, and played it frequently during the early 1980s while hanging out with THE LEAGUE OF SOUL CRUSADERS in my “Liquidated Youth” (some people have a “drinking buddy” but I had a “drinking gang”). I owned both of the 'KING OF THE DELTA BLUES SINGERS' albums, and though Vol. 1 had Robert Johnson's most revered Blues masterpieces, including his great “devil” tunes, I always preferred Vol. 2 because I felt it contained more sonic variety. Even my Ma loved “They’re Red Hot” because of all the changes in pitch that Johnson’s voice assumes in that cut.
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I played the hell out of Robert Johnson in those days, and the other Soul Crusaders became infected with the Blues as a result. They eventually learned the words to 'Love In Vain' and we’d sing it while driving to the next watering hole.
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By now, everyone’s heard that Johnson sold his soul to the devil for his prodigious musical talent. (What’re ya tryin’ to do, cast doubt on one of the great stories in the history of American music? Why ya blasted commie, I oughta --- a-Woo-Woo-Woo!) And hopefully you know that Led Zeppelin ripped off Johnson (and Wolf and Muddy) shamelessly with their first two albums. (Remember that line from Led Zepp II, where Plant sings, “You can squeeze my lemon ’til the juice runs down my leg”? Stole it directly from Robert Johnson. But R.J. wasn’t always so crude with his “seckshual” references; he could also be funny. In 'From Four Until Late' he sings, “A woman is like a dresser; some man’s always rambling through its drawers.”)

I have myriad Robert Johnson/Booze 'N' Blues memories intertwined throughout my personal history to keep me company in my sober, old age. When we League Of Soul Crusaders were in an energetic drinkin’ mood we’d often play Springsteen’s 'BORN TO RUN', 'MORRISON HOTEL' by The Doors, or 'TOO-RYE-AY' by Dexy’s Midnight Runners. When I was in a more mellow, contemplative mood, I’d drink to Van Morrison’s 'ASTRAL WEEKS', 'PIRATES' by Rickie Lee Jones, or 'SMALL CHANGE' by Tom Waits. (Of course, when we were in a Country-Western frame of mind there was just no substitute for the album 'MY BABY BUSTED MY HEART BUT I’M CRYIN’ 'CAUSE I SLICED AN ONION' by Yoey O’Dogherty And His Corn Liquor Boys.)

But at 3:30 AM, when all the other Soul Crusaders were passed out, me 'n' Twinkie would head for his bedroom. I know what you’re thinkin’, and it wasn’t like that at all! Despite his nickname, Twinkie and I were both manly men – like lumberjacks, Jack! And we were just going into his bedroom to listen to Robert Johnson. One night, we experienced a Liquidated Magical Moment: We simultaneously heard an R.J. lick that was literally “IMPOSSIBLE” for a single guitarist to play. Our heads snapped, and we looked to each other, both of us slack-jawed. We never could find that exact same spot on the album again when in a sober state, so it was just one more of those mysterious “thangs” that happen when Boys 'N' Booze meet (you rummies know what I’m yakkin’ 'bout).
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Twinkie’s real surname was “Johnson”, and borrowing the lyric from 'Kind Hearted Woman Blues', we used to sing out “Now there ain’t but the one thing makes Mister Johnson drink” every time he was having female troubles. (And he was ALWAYS having female troubles, so he did a lot of drinking. I only drank when I didn’t have a woman to give me trouble - meaning this lonesome boy also did a lot of drinking.) And Robert Johnson even inspired me to write my own Blues song, 'Devil On My Coattail Blues'. I’d sing it for ya, but I like ya too much to do that.

The best performance of R.J.’s 'Love In Vain' that the Soul Crusaders ever gave was the night an angry Napoleon (aka Nappy), my brother (The League’s 5’ 6” “enforcer”), decided to stumble home from The Music Machine dance club when a smart woman declined his request for a dance. It would have been about a 12-mile walk, so we went looking for him shortly after he stormed out. Meanwhile, Napoleon had entered a bar to buy a cigar for the walk home, when some "big, fat feller with some artificial hair" started some crap with Nappy just because he was only 5’ 6”. Well, Nappy – never one to take any crap – reciprocated with some lip o' his own and then left the bar with his cigar.

Fat Feller, figuring he would show his bar buddies how tough he was, went out after little Nappy and took a swing at him. (Ooooh, big boo-boo, Fat Feller! Ya just don’t antagonize “Little Mad Guy”). With freakish quickness, Nappy flicked a left jab to set Fat Feller up, and immediately followed that with the right cross. Now ordinarily, Nappy’s right cross is enough to send ANY man to the next lunar cycle, if not to the Moon itself. But in this case, being in the “100-proof condition” that he was, Nappy’s punch merely succeeded in putting Fat Feller’s head into the full-speed Linda Blair Exorcist-Spin Cycle. By the time the headlights of our van flashed upon the two combatants squared off with each other in the street, Fat Feller’s head was just coming to a stop, his toupee was lying in the dirt in the next county, and all of the fight had gone out of him (who knows where it went, but it was later reported that something with its tail between its legs was seen yelping Westbound on Pico Boulevard, moving with great haste toward the Pacific Ocean).

We hustled Napoleon into the van while apologizing to Fat Feller (Nappy was involved in this altercation, so naturally we had just “assumed” it was his fault), but undoubtedly Fat Feller couldn’t hear the apology because of the ringing in his ears. And we drove off singing, “Ooooh-Ooooh, all my love’s in vain!”
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When I converted my Robert Johnson albums to compact disc, I bought 'The Complete Recordings' but the thing gave me the blues because I didn’t like the fact that all of the alternate takes were placed back-to-back with their released versions, so that unless I wanted to take time to program the player first, I was hearing many of the songs twice in a row. So I later sold that set and acquired 'KING OF THE DELTA BLUES SINGERS Volume 1 and 2' separately, and I’m much happier now. 
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Whether you need a soundtrack for drinkin’, fightin’, cryin’, or just general 'carrying on' - or need great Blues just for listenin’ to 'cause that’s the kinda guy or gal ya are – 'KING OF THE DELTA BLUES SINGERS' is the real deal, the genuine bust-head article, true Blues for the true you! Buy it today and start creating your own intoxicated Robert Johnson memories.

But whatever you do, don’t listen to 'KING OF THE DELTA BLUES SINGERS' while in public, especially while you’re driving, or you’ll have M.A.R.J. (Mothers Against Robert Johnson) madd at ya, and that’s even worse than having Napoleon madd at ya!
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~ Stephen T. McCarthy
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YE OLDE COMMENT POLICY: All comments, pro and con, are welcome. However, ad hominem attacks and disrespectful epithets will not be tolerated (read: "posted"). After all, this isn’t Amazon.com, so I don’t have to put up with that kind of bovine excrement.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

'HOT POP' (Or, 'THE HOTTEST FISH IN THE SODA SEA')

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Don't feel bad, folks. Heck, even I sometimes forget that this is supposed to be a "product review" blog as well. I get so caught up in the Spirituality, the politics, and the S(s)pirituality of politics that I forget about the product reviews.

Well, today I have a product review for ya. It's about a certain soda pop, or soda ...or pop.

Once upon a time I had a hot friend. I mean, this girl was so H-O-T she was smokin'. And she was blonde, which was never really my type. But that only goes to illustrate how hot she was! In the past I have referred to her as "Ms. Venus", while me, I am Mr. Mars. Anyway, she was from the Midwest where they called soda pop "pop". I told her repeatedly that it was either "soda pop" or "soda", but NEVER just "pop". However, she insisted on calling it "pop" so I broke it off with her. ...There are other hot fish in the sea.
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[Ms. Venus hiding her hotness under a schoolgirl facade for a publicity photo. Somewhere I have a picture of her sipping champagne in the back of a limo on her birthday, looking like her super-hot self, but I can't find where it's stored.]
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I'm not much of a soda pop drinker. I doubt if I drink more than 10 cans of soda pop in a year (unless I'm mixing some 80-proof 'Cruzan' Black Strap Rum into RC cola). My favorite has always been Mountain Dew. But I stopped drinking Mountain Dew years ago for Spiritual and political reasons.

Just a few days ago, Brother Nappy handed me a bottle of pop soda and axed me what I thought of it. I took a sip of it and within seconds I felt the heat; pretty soon it seemed like there was a small fire in my mouth, and with the second sip I started sneezing. "You like it?" Nappy asked me. "YEAH!" I replied enthusiastically. Then he told me I could finish it.
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Nappy had taken his son to 'Lee Lee' the Asian market, and while there he purchased them each a bottle of GOYA Jamaican Style GINGER BEER. (It's not really "beer". It's advertised on the bottle as being "nonalcoholic", as if they're proud of that fact. Sheesh!) It's really a very spicy form of ginger ale. It turned out that Nappy's son didn't like it at all, so it got passed on to me. I LOVES IT! Soda with a "POP!"
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What you needs to know is that "spicy" is my favorite flavor. Thus, Mexican food (sans meat) is my #1 by far, followed by Italian. I dig everything hot and/or smokey. [Yeah, I spell "smoky" with an "e". Get over it.] Ramona's 'Chile Relleno' burritos; Kroger's 'Smoke Flavor String Cheese'; Arizona Gunslinger 'Habanero Stuffed Olives'; Jalapeno Jarlsberg Cheese Dip (with the original multigrain flavor Sun Chips); any brewing company's 'Smoked Porter' (the only Porter style beer I like) - I could happily survive on just these things.
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This is not to say there's no such thing as "too hot" in my book: I once bought a jar of habanero pepper paste in Topeka, Kansas. So damned hot I had to throw it out after ruining two big pots of vegetarian chili with the stuffs!

After awhile I got to wondering what in hell makes this GOYA Jamaican Style GINGER BEER hot? So I did what anyone smarter'n an Airheadzonan would do: I read the ingredients label.

Carbonated Water, High Fructose Corn Syrup 55, Ginger Flavorings, Oil Of Ginger, Caramel Color, Capsicum, Citric Acid.

"Capsicum"... Ah-Ha!
You know what Capsicum is? Essentially, that is what makes Cayenne Peppers hot... and me sneeze. It'z good stuffs, peoples!
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The following comes from the book 'LEFT FOR DEAD' by Dick Quinn:

Cayenne (latin name: Capsicum annum) ... Cayenne, which takes its name from the Greek word meaning "to bite", was introduced to Europe by Christopher Columbus. Legend has it that Columbus discovered the pungent pepper growing on an island off French Guiana later called Devil's Island. ...

In 1981, I found the book 'CAPSICUM' by Dr. John Christopher. Christopher was a genius from Utah who discovered incredible things Cayenne can do and used it as the primary ingredient in his herbal formulations. ... On numerous occasions, Dr. Christopher actually stopped a heart attack in progress by giving the patient Cayenne in warm water. ... 

About 95% of all heart attacks occur in the coronary artery that has become narrow because of cholesterol and plaque. When you are stressed ... your artery contracts, making the narrowed section even smaller. That's when a blood clot can come along and block your artery completely, shutting off the blood to your heart and causing a heart attack. Cayenne dissolves the clot, opens the artery and stimulates the heart, stopping the heart attack. ... Unlike caffeine, Cayenne is good for you. It is nature's most powerful stimulant. ...

Another safe way to clean the arteries is with Lecithin. Experts say the choline in Lecithin liquifies cholesterol and dissolves deposits. Nutritionists recommend taking three rounded tablespoons of Lecithin granules at one time every day for 12 days, with light exercise about two hours after you take it. It's called the 12-Day Flush. They recommend a tablespoon or two a day as a maintenance dose. ... Lecithin granules are more potent than capsules.

After she suffered a stroke, I once had my Ma do the 12-Day Flush, and apparently it worked incredibly well. (More details in the book review linked toward the bottom of this blog bit.) Back to the excerpts:

I consider Dr. John Christopher the patron saint of Cayenne, the herb that's most important to my health. Had Christopher not lived, I would not be alive today, because I would never have heard of Cayenne or what it can do. He told the lady by the lake and she told me.

Since Cayenne detoxifies the liver and other organs, it can cause the "burning dumps" for up to 3 days, though some people don't have them at all. Your kidneys, liver and other organs may contain very powerful, caustic poisons they have filtered out of your blood. Now you can get rid of them. ... People who don't usually eat hot spicy food should build a tolerance slowly. ...

'Power Caps' are my favorite, my mean old junkyard dog. They have more of my 100,000 heat unit blend of African and Indian Cayenne ... They also have Hawthorn for my heart and Ginger to give me a lift and put the fire out.

Dick Quinn is correct about Ginger helping to put out the fire of Cayenne. For instance, I sometimes take the Solaray brand of "Extra Hot" 'COOL CAYENNE'. These are 100,000 heat-unit capsules, but they're blended with Ginger Root to keep the hot Cayenne cool in the stomach, and I have never had any problem with them. But then, like I said, I'm pretty much a spicy food junkie, so I certainly have a higher tolerance than would the average Joe or Joan Blow.

Hmmm... This makes me wonder how hot the GOYA Jamaican Style GINGER BEER might be if instead of being a Ginger Beer it was, oh, say, Cola or Root Beer. Double-Hmmm... I wonder what the GOYA GINGER BEER would be like with a Solaray 100,000 heat-unit 'COOL CAYENNE' capsule dissolved in it. I think I'm off to experiment. ...People probably die experimenting with stuffs like this. Oh well, at least I'll die a "hottie".

GOYA Jamaican Style GINGER BEER and 'LEFT FOR DEAD' by Dick Quinn, I recommend both.

Book Review and Reader Comments:
http://tinyurl.com/lajtbb5
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'GOYA' GINGER BEER IN MY BEER CUP. IS THAT EVEN LEGAL?
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~ Stephen T. McCarthy
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YE OLDE COMMENT POLICY: All comments, pro and con, are welcome. However, ad hominem attacks and disrespectful epithets will not be tolerated (read: "posted"). After all, this isn’t Amazon.com, so I don’t have to put up with that kind of bovine excrement.

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

'THIS IS A GUN-FREE BLOG' (Or, 'PLEASE DON'T SHOOT MY DEFENSELESS ASS!')

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This blog has enacted a very strict 'Zero Tolerance For Guns' policy and we enforce this Gun-Free Zone to the fullest extent of the law and then some!

What this means, of course, is that no guns are permitted on this blog. Neither I or anyone else in the vicinity of this blog is permitted to carry handguns, rifles, or any other kind of weaponry that shoots bullets and kills innocent people.
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Bearing this policy in mind, I beg you please, Please, PLEASE don't ever show up here and shoot my sorry, defenseless ass! I mean, I'll do whatever you say... I'll polish your shoes, I'll step 'n' fetch it, I'll not complain if you kick me like I'm a dog you own and hate. But I beg of you – PLEASE – just don't shoot me, 'cause I sure ain't got no gun I can shoot back with, and there ain't nobody else around here who can defend me against you, because they've all obeyed the strict Gun-Free Blog Zone policy I enacted here.

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The other night I was fooling around on the computer while at work was doing some online investigative work for my employer. And during the course of my searches, I came across this GREAT article written by a guy named Jon Beauchemin at his blog 'THE SMALL CHEESE'.

Now, look-a-here, anyone with at least 2 brain cells to rub together (myself included) has, for many years, made this very same argument about gun control and silly “Gun-Free Zones”. A person has to be pretty damned stupid not to “get it”. And yet, stunningly, there are countless Americonned citizens who are just THAT stupid. Look around you... most of the people you see still don't get this.

What's amazing though is that some school districts across the Americonned landscape HAVE actually begun to wake up from the Kool-Aid induced fog and are beginning to arm some of their school teachers so that large-scale massacres of school children and defenseless teachers and school administrators will become a thing of the past.

So... there's nuttin' new 'n' unique about this logical argument, but this fellow, Jon Beauchemin, has taken the argument and turned it into a very creative form. It's even funny in places (I literally GOLed – Guffawed-Out-Loud - once or twice).

Below is a link to the blog bit at Jon's website. Read, learn, 'n' laugh... at the stupidity that Uncle S(c)am has been trying to force-feed ya with for decades now. This was an A+ blog bit and I know that for a fact because I'm downright jealous that I wasn't the one to think of putting the anti-Gun-Free Zone argument in this clever format.

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Read the blog bit linked above, then watch this video:
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~ Stephen T. McCarthy
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YE OLDE COMMENT POLICY: All comments, pro and con, are welcome. However, ad hominem attacks and disrespectful epithets will not be tolerated (read: "posted"). After all, this isn’t Amazon.com, so I don’t have to put up with that kind of bovine excrement.