Monday, December 29, 2008

WHY ARE THERE NO HOMELESS ATHEISTS?

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This is something that has puzzled me for many years: Why is it that there are no homeless atheists? Does God throw out into the streets only those individuals who believe in His existence?

It seems as though every single money-begging bum on every street corner or freeway offramp holds a piece of cardboard upon which is scrawled - in one form or another - the lament “Woe is me; please help” followed by the phrase “God bless you.” Donate a portion of your money to a homeless man or woman and he or she will call down God’s blessing upon you. What are the odds that any person who finds himself out on the streets will believe in God? Apparently it’s 100 percent. How strange! In light of this surprising statistic, perhaps the best thing a person can do in order to maintain a roof over their head is to deny the existence of God.

I’ll admit, however, that the sharpest panhandler I ever witnessed didn’t even need to “use God” in order to rake in the dough. This woman really knew her business; she was aware that, as in good real estate, the key to good begging is: Location! Location! Location!

This was about 1991, and the woman had staked out a place for herself at a Trader Joe’s in North Hollywood. Trader Joe’s, home away from home for every weed-smoking, hemp-wearing hippie; every ecology-sweating, dimwitted, Democrat Ding-Dong; every earringed and ponytailed Marxist moviemaker; and every bra-burning, boob-sagging spokeswoman for P.P.F.A.R. (Pro-Choice People For Animal Rights). Trader Joe’s uses recycled paper grocery bags, and so they all shop Trader Joe’s “for the children.”

Our homeless woman had positioned herself at the Trader Joe’s parking lot exit, and she just stood there in dirty clothes and matted hair, holding a leash leading to a sad-eyed dog. (All the best beggars borrow or rent a dog in order to simultaneously draw two bows across your heartstrings.) She had no sign because she needed to say nothing, but relied solely on the guilty consciences of the customers leaving the store with their organic peanut butter, pine nut salad, tofu mignon, and bottles and bottles of sparkling wine from Fruity ‘Frisco Farms. The customers driving out of the parking lot were lined up ten-deep, money in hand and arms extended out the driver’s side windows, patiently waiting for their opportunity to pull up beside the poor, homeless woman and give her money. She just stood there raking it in. Why it almost made me proud to be a member of the human race.

Wasn’t it P.T. Barnum who said, “There’s a bleeding-heart Liberal born every minute”? To which I’ll add: And they all learn to shop Trader Joe’s... for the children.

In these hard economic times, I think we should all renounce our belief in God, embrace atheism, and thereby save our homes! Let’s vow not to be the foolish ones who end up living on the streets with nothing but a cardboard sign and the blessing of God to give.

~ Stephen T. McCarthy
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Sunday, December 28, 2008

WHAT, IS HE FROM THE WOMB OF THE MOTHER SHIP SENT BY PLANET MALCOLM-X?

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Before he can vote, a person must register, and this means meeting certain requirements by presenting evidence proving citizenship and a right to vote. One would think that prior to announcing his intention to run for the highest political office in the land, a person would also have to present evidence to a recognized commission formed to ensure that the requirements necessary to be elected president, demanded by the U.S. Constitution, have been satisfied. But this is apparently not the case.

In order to prove that he meets the requirement of Article II, Section I of the U.S. Constitution, Barack Obama has been asked to present his birth certificate, but he has chosen instead to hire lawyers.

The November 24, 2008 issue of The New American magazine had this to say:

It has been alleged that presidential aspirant Barack Obama is ineligible to become president because, it is claimed, he was not born in the United States – but rather born in Kenya to a Kenyan father, making him a Kenyan citizen. The story has gained credence for several reasons:

* His paternal grandmother in Kenya has reportedly been audiotaped speaking to an Anabaptist reverend and bishop saying that she was in the delivery room when Obama was born. The reverend and bishop have both signed affidavits claiming they have the tape and will testify in court.


* Obama has refused to release an official birth certificate. Instead, he has released a “certificate of live birth,” which not only shows evidence of tampering but wouldn’t normally be considered a legal document anyway.

* Obama will not release his medical records or his records from Occidental or Harvard College. It is speculated that he will not release these records because they indicate he is not a citizen and may, in fact, have applied for some type of U.S. government aid for foreign students.

… Philip Berg, a former deputy attorney general of Pennsylvania, further alleges that even if Obama were born in the United States, when Obama’s mother was remarried, she moved to Indonesia with her new husband and renounced her and Barack’s U.S. citizenship. The basis for this claim is the fact that the government of Indonesia during the four years Obama was enrolled in school there required that one had to be a citizen of Indonesia and renounce citizenship in other countries in order to attend school.

Well, well, well! Obama has not even assumed the office of President yet and already we see evasion and evidence of dishonesty. Change? Looks like Mo’ Of The Same to me; looks like business as usual in D.C.

If Obama were a Republican, you could bet all of the four hundred and one pennies remaining in your 401k that the mainstream media and every dippy Democrat in the country would be crying bloody murder about this. But Democrats favor "The Rule Of Law" only when the law favors them!

Last month, a woman posted a comment on this website, presenting the idea that Obama’s reluctance ("refusal" would be a better word choice) to “Out With The Truth” may not necessarily be related to his United States citizenship. She wrote:

“An older friend suggested a possible reason this Birth Certificate is being kept so hush-hush. Back in the 1960s, before civilisation became so liberal, if parents were not legally married, a Birth Certificate would reflect that. The infant would carry [the] mothers 'maiden' name. Could that possibly be the stumbling block?”

I suspect there’s much, much more to this story than the above explanation can account for, but if that really IS the problem here, I don’t see why Barack Obama should work so hard to conceal this fact. After all, if true, Obama would be only the latest in a long line of bastards to occupy the White House.


~ Stephen T. McCarthy
<"As a dog returns to his own vomit, so a fool repeats his folly."
~ Proverbs 26:11>
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Friday, December 26, 2008

THE FORBIDDEN WORD

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Here in Phoenix, Airheadzona, there’s a shopping center located at the intersection of 43rd Avenue and Thunderbird called Deer Valley Center. If you’ve never been in Phoenix, all you’re missing is one huge patchwork quilt of strip malls covered in subdued earth tone paints peeling from 118 degree heat. “Come for the beauty, stay for the weather!”

Deer Valley Center is like all of our other strip malls - it includes a Starbucks, a Blockbuster, a Hi-Health, a Blimpie sandwich shop, a bar and grill, a new age store, a shuttered Mervyn’s, and an assortment of mom and pop establishments gone or going “out of business.” There’s also a Hallmark card shop. Hallmark recently announced its intention to begin marketing wedding cards expressly designed for same-sex marriages (for “When You Care Enough To Send The Most Perverted”).

While at this shopping center recently, I noticed that, in keeping with this festive time of year, the property manager or an association of business owners had attached three types of banners to the light standards throughout the parking lot. The blue banners simply say “Happy Holidays.” There’s a red banner that just says “Season’s Greetings.” But the third type of banner, also red, contains the following seven salutations:

Feliz Navidad

Feliz Natal

Season’s Greetings

Bon Natale

Frohliche Weinachten

Joyeux Noel

Happy Hanukkah

Since all of my readers are highly observant and politically astute, I know there’s no need for me to point out the one missing expression of the season; it is so obvious due to its omission amongst every other conceivable form of greeting that it sticks out like a fat man in a bright red, white fur-festooned suit. Hokey-Smoke and Hoo-Wee! Talk about trying to ignore a red-nosed elephant in the room!

Not for a moment do I believe that the phrase in question was merely overlooked, because it is an expression that is so common it is found on nearly every person’s lips at this time of year. When every one of the season’s greetings has been included, with just this single exception, then I KNOW that there was a conscious decision made to avoid saying "IT."

I'm referring, of course, to . . .

HAPPY KWANZAA !

Well, I for one think it is a real shame that here in 2008 - even after the country has elected its first African-American to the presidency - that we should be so reluctant to observe such an important and meaningful holiday like Kwanzaa. How could the property manager of the Deer Valley Center have so blatantly dissed Black Americans in this way? Apparently, racism is still alive in the U.S.A. (It’s kinda like that pesky Communism, it just won’t go completely away.) Well, it’s the Deer Valley Center’s bad and none of my own; dogged if I’m gonna dis my African-American Brothers and Sisters. And so . . .

. . . this being the first day of that special holiday, I want to take this opportunity to wish you all a MERRY HAPPY and AUTHENTIC KWANZAA !

This also being the 26th of December, the Birthday that I’ve been celebrating all this month has come and gone, and so, if you’ll excuse me now, I’m going outside to remove the CHRISTM— uhm… the “Winter Holiday” lights from my house.

~ Stephen T. McCarthy
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