THE TRUTH ABOUT TRUTH:

All truth passes through three stages.
First, it is ridiculed.
Second, it is violently opposed.
Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.



Monday, December 29, 2008

WHY ARE THERE NO HOMELESS ATHEISTS?

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This is something that has puzzled me for many years: Why is it that there are no homeless atheists? Does God throw out into the streets only those individuals who believe in His existence?

It seems as though every single money-begging bum on every street corner or freeway offramp holds a piece of cardboard upon which is scrawled - in one form or another - the lament “Woe is me; please help” followed by the phrase “God bless you.” Donate a portion of your money to a homeless man or woman and he or she will call down God’s blessing upon you. What are the odds that any person who finds himself out on the streets will believe in God? Apparently it’s 100 percent. How strange! In light of this surprising statistic, perhaps the best thing a person can do in order to maintain a roof over their head is to deny the existence of God.

I’ll admit, however, that the sharpest panhandler I ever witnessed didn’t even need to “use God” in order to rake in the dough. This woman really knew her business; she was aware that, as in good real estate, the key to good begging is: Location! Location! Location!

This was about 1991, and the woman had staked out a place for herself at a Trader Joe’s in North Hollywood. Trader Joe’s, home away from home for every weed-smoking, hemp-wearing hippie; every ecology-sweating, dimwitted, Democrat Ding-Dong; every earringed and ponytailed Marxist moviemaker; and every bra-burning, boob-sagging spokeswoman for P.P.F.A.R. (Pro-Choice People For Animal Rights). Trader Joe’s uses recycled paper grocery bags, and so they all shop Trader Joe’s “for the children.”

Our homeless woman had positioned herself at the Trader Joe’s parking lot exit, and she just stood there in dirty clothes and matted hair, holding a leash leading to a sad-eyed dog. (All the best beggars borrow or rent a dog in order to simultaneously draw two bows across your heartstrings.) She had no sign because she needed to say nothing, but relied solely on the guilty consciences of the customers leaving the store with their organic peanut butter, pine nut salad, tofu mignon, and bottles and bottles of sparkling wine from Fruity ‘Frisco Farms. The customers driving out of the parking lot were lined up ten-deep, money in hand and arms extended out the driver’s side windows, patiently waiting for their opportunity to pull up beside the poor, homeless woman and give her money. She just stood there raking it in. Why it almost made me proud to be a member of the human race.

Wasn’t it P.T. Barnum who said, “There’s a bleeding-heart Liberal born every minute”? To which I’ll add: And they all learn to shop Trader Joe’s... for the children.

In these hard economic times, I think we should all renounce our belief in God, embrace atheism, and thereby save our homes! Let’s vow not to be the foolish ones who end up living on the streets with nothing but a cardboard sign and the blessing of God to give.

~ Stephen T. McCarthy
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5 comments:

  1. A local news channel did a special a few years back on a homeless guy who panhandled on a certain corner. I guess it was quite lucrative since he self proclaimed to make more than $500 a day (tax free, which is much better than anything I bring in) and frequently took trips to Hawaii and other gifted areas of the world. As you said location, location, location.... He defended his freeway ramp by physical force if need be.

    On a more disturbing note many born again christians are in mental asylums. No joke.... Something that was brought to my attention when I was in the way. I haven't personally looked at any statistics, but I have to say my personal experience backs up that claim. Now God can deliver anyone from anything, I know that. However, God has also given us free will and we do have a personal advesary and accuser (something Job learned all too well). A lot of christians don't realize that being a christian isn't all fun and games. History shows that we often get the worst treatment, and have to work twice as hard for the same opportunities. All one would have to do is look at the lives of the apostles, but somehow they are convinced this can not happen (for anyone reading this that believes that I assure you it can). I don't want to see this, but it does seem like it will happen within our life time (potentially very very soon). I often wonder how many christians will be around then. I pray that I will have the strength to do the right thing. I understand that my flesh is weak, and I don't automatically believe I'll do the right thing. Nope I pray that God will lead my heart and continue to build the mind of Christ within me.

    Take care,
    Marc

    ReplyDelete
  2. >>[A local news channel did a special a few years back on a homeless guy who panhandled on a certain corner. I guess it was quite lucrative since he self proclaimed to make more than $500 a day (tax free, which is much better than anything I bring in) and frequently took trips to Hawaii]<<

    I've heard several such accounts through the years, BR'ER MARC, and I don't doubt the veracity of all of them.

    Nevertheless, I don't give money to people on the street because one is simply enabling the "down and out" who've chosen to remain "down and out" to continue their self-destructive behavior. The bleeding-heart Libs would be doing them a bigger favor by withholding money. But try getting a Lib to understand that idea - it favors logic over emotion, and so it gets lost in their hearts and can't find a way to their brains.

    I do, however, regulary donate money to organizations designed to help the destitute who seek real aid and are also making a genuine effort to help themselves. In other words, I believe in offering "a hand UP", but not "a hand OUT."

    By the way, Br'er, do you s'pose you could loan me forty-five thousand dollars? You know, just until payday?

    ~ STMcC
    <"As a dog returns to his own vomit,
    so a fool repeats his folly."
    ~ Proverbs 26:11>

    ReplyDelete
  3. "By the way, Br'er, do you s'pose you could loan me forty-five thousand dollars? You know, just until payday?"

    Sure thing. I'll send the monopoly paper right over. After all Federal Reserve Notes and monopoly paper are really the same thing. I think the creatures of Monopoly have gotten a raw gig. After all, at least their honest about the value of their paper.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Right. And not only that, but it comes in a variety of pretty colors!

    ~ STMcC
    <"As a dog returns to his own vomit,
    so a fool repeats his folly."
    ~ Proverbs 26:11>

    ReplyDelete
  5. Yes and monopoly money doesn't have proven carcinogens in it.

    ReplyDelete

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