Tuesday, May 28, 2013

MY FAVORITE BEER... SUCKS?


In the comment section HERE, I was yakking with one of my Magnificent Seven, 'Brother Beer Boy Bryan', and having a good time doing it too. In fact, another one of The Seven (FarAwayEyes) told me that she really enjoyed reading the extensive conversation that 4-B and I engaged in THERE. (To me, comment sections like THAT are the best reasons for blogging!)
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As I wrote to 4-B in that comment section:

By no means are you preventing me from “putting up another blog post”. I have been trying to decide where to go next and just haven’t made up my mind...  I have planned (by mere coincidence) another blog bit about why I dislike police officers.

Also, one of my ‘New World Order’ conspiracy pieces about how and why the Republican party has deliberately refused to remove Barack Obama from office when, in fact, he could very easily be serving time in a federal prison right this very minute... if the Republican party desired that.

And then there’s these 1+3 Obama scandals I could write about: ‘Fast And Furious’; ‘
Benghazi’; ‘The I.R.S. Targeting Of Conservative Groups’; and ‘The Department Of Justice’s Snooping Into The Associated Press Phone Records’.


I have so much material right now that my head is spinning and I don’t even know which direction I should go in next. (‘I’m All Over The Map, Which Is My Oyster’, or something like that.)

Well, I’m still in doubt about where to go next. But I’m smart enough to know: When in doubt, yak about beer.

You already know how much I hate – HATE!Phoenix, Airheadzona. Up until recently, the only thing I liked about this city was the annual ‘Glendale Jazz And Blues Festival’, but after 29 years even that was cancelled in 2013 due to “budget cuts” (Bullsh#t!)
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Well, recently, my brother Napoleon and I discovered something else we like about Phoenix. I drove past this place every morning while working and the sign caught my eye:
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I mentioned THE MAIN INGREDIENT Ale House & Cafe to Nappy and he said he’d driven past it and noticed it too. So we got online and checked out their site, and we were so pleased to see so many unique beers and ales available on draft and bottled that we decided to try it out that Saturday.
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I ordered ‘The Main Ale’ and this...

Artichoke Heaven
......a warm dip with artichoke hearts, green chiles, & 3 cheeses served with La Tolteca tortilla chips

It was so good that we went back the next week and I ordered the ‘Artichoke Heaven’ again. The following week I sampled a couple more ales and this time I was more hungry and so I ordered this...

Griddled Cheese
......havarti, muenster, & cheddar, with local tomato, on sourdough

Without question that was the BEST grilled cheese sandwich I’d ever had. So now, to my great surprise, I found myself returning to THE MAIN INGREDIENT more for the food than the brew. The second time I had the ‘Griddled Cheese’ sandwich, I felt compelled to photograph it first:
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'THE MAIN INGREDIENT' BAR
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THE LITTLE TABLE WHERE MY BROTHER AND I USUALLY SIT
(We Don't Know That Woman With The Tiny Feet!)
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But this time I tried a new brew that had suddenly made an appearance on the menu: Lagunitas SUCKS (‘Brown Shugga’ Substitute Ale).

My papa’s real big. He did like he pleased. That’s why everybody worked on him. The last time I’ve seen my father he was blind in the cedars from drinking. And every time he put the bottle to his mouth, he don’t suck out of it. It SUCKS out of him until he’d shrunk so wrinkled and yellow even the dogs don’t know him.
~ Chief Bromdon
‘One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest’

I’d never heard of Lagunitas SUCKS (‘Brown Shugga’ Substitute Ale) before, but I was very familiar with the Lagunitas Brewing Company. In fact, Lagunitas (along with the Odell Brewing Company of Colorado) was already one of my two favorites overall.
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BROTHER NAPPY AND I BOTH LOVE THIS BREW
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NAPPY AND I GREW UP IN "OLD" DOGTOWN, CALIFORNIA
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I first discovered Lagunitas beer while on a weekend trip in Flagstaff with my Brother in 2007. It’s a somewhat humorous story that involves the Cleveland Indians baseball club and the history of Rock ‘N’ Roll. Maybe I’ll tell it someday... but not today.

Back to THE MAIN INGREDIENT...
Well, by about my 3rd or 4th sip of Lagunitas SUCKS, I was already thinking that it might be the best ale I’d ever had – and that’s really saying something, because I have sampled A LOT of different beers and ales. [Blind Beer Taste Tests (Or, Beer Battles: Who Hops To The Top?)]

‘SUCKS’ starts out with very pronounced citrus-like, grapefruit-y overtones but finishes with that bitter bomb of hops that “hopheads” love so much. I was pretty much hooked immediately (Alc. 7.85%; I.B.U. 63.21).
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THIS ALE DOESN'T "SUCK"
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I was curious whether or not other beer dudes thought ‘SUCKS’ super like I did, so I eventually looked it up on a couple of beer fanboy sites (I was not alone)...




The label on the bottle says a lot, but it doesn’t say it all:

E.K. Ross would have enjoyed our suffering in 2010 when we saw we couldn’t brew our ‘Brown Shugga’. But in that time of deepest despair, as is common to artists everywhere, broke, hungover, abandoned by the muse and prepared to take a job at Arby’s, we found in that darkness the spark of inspiration that would yield up this nearly sanctified recipe!

On a beer-staggered website I found the following extended explanation about how Lagunitas ‘SUCKS’ (‘Brown Shugga’ Substitute Ale) came into existence:

This sad holiday season we didn’t have the brewing capacity to make our favorite seasonal brew, the widely feared ‘Brown Shugga’ Ale.

You see we had a couple of really good years (thank you very much) and so heading into this season while we are awaiting the January delivery of a new brewhouse we are jammin’ along brewing 80 barrels of IPA and PILS and such every 3 hours.

A couple of months back we realized that since we can only brew a mere 60 barrels of ‘Shugga’ every 5 hours, that we were seriously screwed. For every case of ‘Shugga’ brewed, we’d short 3 cases of our favorite daily beers. It’s a drag.

This year, we brewed something that we think is also cool and brews more like our daily brews. The new brewhouse will help insure this kind of failure never happens again.

It’s a mess that we cannot brew our ‘Brown Shugga’ this year and we suck for not doing it. There is nothing cool about screwing this up this badly and we know it.

Maybe we can sue our own sorry selves. There is no joy in our hearts this holiday and the best we can hope for is a quick and merciful end. F*@& us. This totally blows. Whatever. We freaking munch moldy donkey butt and we just want it to be all over...

So this substitute beer is a ‘Cereal Medley’ of Barley, Rye, Wheat, and Oats…. Full of complexishness from the 4 grains, and weighing in at 7.85% abv, then joyously dry-hopped for that big aroma and resinous hop flavor.

Gotta love a brewing company that says “F*@& us” and tells the world they “SUCK” right on their beer label. Ha! That’s a company I can definitely forgive. Funnier still is that if you look up the opinions of WorldWideWeb beer fanatics you’ll find that generally they like ‘SUCKS’ better than ‘BROWN SHUGGA’ – the ale that ‘SUCKS’ was brewed to replace in a pinch.

I have since gone back to THE MAIN INGREDIENT several times and consumed ‘SUCKS’ several more times. If it’s not now my very favorite ale, I don’t know what is.

And with each visit to THE MAIN INGREDIENT, I try some new food item from the menu. Last Saturday, Nappy and I split these:

Veggie Quesadilla
......griddled red pepper & red onion with Oaxacan cheese, sour cream, house-made guacamole, & salsa on the side

Mindy’s Mac & Cheese
......baked to perfection, with loads of cheddar & mild green chiles

Both were excellent! Next Saturday, I intend to try this:

The Calvano
......sopressata, aged provolone, chopped artichoke hearts, & house-roasted red peppers on focaccia

Anyone know what “sopressata” is? (It doesn’t have eyes, does it? I’m a longtime vegetarian.)

OK, so maybe not everything in Phoenix...  sucks.

Lagunitas and they're ice cold, yes, she got 'em for sale.
Man, don't mess around ‘em Lagunitas now
'Cause they too black bad, if you mess around ‘em Lagunitas
They gonna upset your backbone, put your kidneys to sleep
They due to break away your liver 

And dare your heart to beat ‘bout my...
Lagunitas ‘cause they ice cold, 

Yes, they got’ em for sale, I mean...
Yes, she got ‘em for sale, yeah.
~ Robert Johnson
‘They’re Red Hot’ (-reinterpreted)

FarAwayEyes, congratulations!
U R my hero and...
This brew
Is 4 U:
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~ Stephen T. McCarthy

YE OLDE COMMENT POLICY: All comments, pro and con, are welcome. However, ad hominem attacks and disrespectful epithets will not be tolerated (read: "posted"). After all, this isn’t Amazon.com, so I don’t have to put up with that kind of bovine excrement.
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Monday, May 27, 2013

SHITTY CITY, AIRHEADZONA (Or, PHUCK PHOENIX!)


Here I sit listening to the Miles Davis classic ‘KIND OF BLUE’ (because I am). Before I get started on my anti-Phoenix rant, this being Memorial Day, I want to first make mention of all the servicemen that the U.S. government knowingly left behind as prisoners in Asian countries after the Korean and Vietnam Wars (or, “police actions”, to be more accurate).

Some of us will always remember them:
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[Read the books ‘AN ENORMOUS CRIME: The Definitive Account Of American POWs Abandoned In Southeast Asia’ and ‘THE POLITICIAN: A Look At The Political Forces That Propelled Dwight David Eisenhower Into The Presidency’.]

Alright, and now on to the rant...

Many times on my blogs I have related to you how utterly stupid the majority of Airheadzonans are – both the poor, dumb bastards who live here, and the assclowns who infest the local government. (Of course the dumb bastards always get the assclowns they deserve.) Bear in mind that Janet Napolitano, the lezbo in charge of Homeland Security, was a former governor of Airheadzona.

I have told you about “Airheadzonan” stupidity time and time again, like HERE, and HERE, and HERE.
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Well, at “rush hour” on Friday, May 24th, the assclowns struck again, and in a way that few American citizens in major metropolitan areas outside of Phoenix could imagine.

Sadly, a Phoenix fireman was recently killed. Here’s what happened: 

PHOENIX -- A Phoenix firefighter has died after being pinned between two emergency vehicles while responding to a fire.

According to officials, Bradley Harper, 23, got caught between an ambulance and a fire truck as the two were trying to pass each other on a narrow road.

The crews were responding to a mulch fire at a business in southwest Phoenix at 39th Ave. and Lower Buckeye Rd. around 5:30 p.m. Saturday. 

I am sincerely sorry that Brad Harper lost his life and my sympathy goes out to his family and friends. I myself lost too many friends at way too young an age, so I can definitely understand the pain.

The accident that took Harper’s life was unfortunate. Apparently it was also an act of carelessness. I wasn’t there, so I can’t say exactly how it occurred but... the description above leads me to the conclusion that some Airheadzonans were acting like Airheadzonans.

Last Friday, a funeral procession was conducted by the Phoenix Fire Department in conjunction with the Phoenix Police Department (also known as “The Gristleheads In Blue”). Below is what they decided to do, as reported HERE:
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BRAD HARPER FUNERAL PROCESSION ROUTE FROM THE CHURCH TO THE CEMETERY 

The procession will leave the church and go east on Happy Valley Road to 67th Ave.

South on 67th. Ave. to the Loop 101

East on the 101 to the I-17 transition

South on I-17 to the McDowell Off-ramp

West on McDowell to 27th Avenue

South on 27th Avenue to the entrance (under the extended Ladder-trucks) into the cemetery on the East side of 27th. Ave. 

ADDITIONAL ROADWAY RESTRICTIONS 

A Hard-closure will occur at 1545 hours on the westbound side of Van Buren, starting at the East-side of the freeway overpass to 27th. Ave, during the graveside ceremony.

A Hard-closure will also occur on McDowell Westbound, starting at the East-side of the freeway overpass to 27th. Ave, only during procession movement. 

MEDIA STAGING 

Media will stage at the Christ's Church of the Valley on an elevated area directly South & East of the main entrance doors. [...] Bottled water will be provided.

Media will stage at Greenwood Memorial Cemetery between 24th and 25th Avenues on Van Buren in predesignated area just inside the West gate. All media vehicles will be staged on Van Buren (Just West of the metal fence on the North side of Van Buren). [...] Bottled water will be provided. 

CEREMONIES 

Funeral at 2:30 p.m. on Friday, May 24 at Christ's Church of the Valley (CCV)
7007 W. Happy
Valley Road
Peoria, AZ  85383


Internment to follow at Greenwood Memorial Cemetery
719 N. 27th Avenue
Phoenix, AZ  85009
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You got that? In other words, what the assclowns did was close down approximately 20 essential freeway miles during “rush hour” on the Friday before the Memorial Day weekend! Why couldn’t this event have waited until the following morning or afternoon – a Saturday when a significant amount of Airheadzonans would be gone from the shitty city to celebrate the holiday?

Why did so many commuters just trying to get home from work on the Friday before a major 3-day weekend need to be diverted off the freeways and crammed into crawling, bumper-to-bumper residential streets?

Is it because the people who run this shitty city are as dumb as a box of rocks? Or was it so that we, the common men, couldn’t possibly miss the outpouring of love that the Fire Department and the “Gristleheads In Blue” have for one of their own? Was it simple stupidity, because no one was smart enough to suggest closing the freeways on Saturday instead? Or were we citizens MEANT to be inconvenienced in order to make certain we didn’t miss the great display of “uniformed support”?

If New York City is a tall, powerful beast...
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...and Los Angeles is a sleek, creatively acrobatic entertainer,
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...then Phoenix, Airheadzona, is a crazy Chihuahua; an overheated, flea and tick infested, little dog suffering from “the heartbreak of psoriasis” :
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"BUT IT'S A DRY HEAT"
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Honestly, you pretty much have to be a straw-for-brains Mike Broomhead (radio station KFYI) to love Phoenix, Airheadzona, and I rue the day I moved to this total hellhole! If Phoenix was a copier/fax machine, I’d beat it like I stole it:
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~ Stephen T. McCarthy

YE OLDE COMMENT POLICY: All comments, pro and con, are welcome. However, ad hominem attacks and disrespectful epithets will not be tolerated (read: "posted"). After all, this isn’t Amazon.com, so I don’t have to put up with that kind of bovine excrement.

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Tuesday, May 21, 2013

ONE FOR THE FLIPPIN’ SQUIRREL (Or, BETTER MANY MOONS LATE THAN NEVER)

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[Special Thanks To my friend Bryan Pedus of the always-entertaining blog 'A Beer For The Shower' for the technical assistance that made this blog bit possible. But for 4-B's help, there would have been no video, and no video meant no blog bit. So, thanks, Brother Beer Boy Bryan! If we ever meet, the beer's on me... well, the first one is, anyway.]

For my money, 'MOONLIGHTING' was one of the ten best TV shows of all time. And for my money, the last episode of 'Moonlighting' was without a doubt the best finale to a popular TV series ever. But this isn’t for my money. It’s for my Ma (may she rest in peace), whose birthday is today (May 13th).
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My Ma in Heaven totally “gets” this. I hope the rest of you will simply enjoy it.

5x13 Lunar Eclipse
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I was holding one of my Ma's hands when she left this Earth. The day before, when she and I were alone in her hospice room, something happened, and I have NEVER told anyone about it. It was just a little thing, but my Ma noticed it too because she immediately asked me, "What was that?" I told her that I didn't know. I do, but I don't, and someday I will. I know that eventually God is going to reveal to me why that "little thing" happened, and I suspect He will reveal it at a time when I most desperately need to know it. 

[Ma, Frank says “We’ll Be Together Again”, just as soon as these dog days of life come to an end. I believe. I do believe. See ya then, Binky Buckeye, you flippin' squirrel!]

~ Stephen T. McCarthy

POSTSCRIPT: Thanks again, Bryan! I kept this wannabe blog bit saved on my Dashboard's 'Post List', not thinking it would ever really get posted. I thank you, Brother, and I'm sure my Ma does too.

YE OLDE COMMENT POLICY: All comments, pro and con, are welcome. However, ad hominem attacks and disrespectful epithets will not be tolerated (read: "posted"). After all, this isn’t Amazon.com, so I don’t have to put up with that kind of bovine excrement.
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Tuesday, May 7, 2013

BEELZEBUB OBAMA? (Or, THE LORD OF FLIES AND THIGHS?)


So, what do you think about the Benghazi investigation? Who, if anyone, will take the fall for that? (Sure as hell it won’t be Barack Oliar.)


Or maybe you’re more interested in the reopening of possible court action against Barack Oliar’s completely phony birth certificate?


Actually, I’ve been meaning for some time now to share with you a humorous article I found over a month ago at WorldNetDaily. So here it is below... finally (ain’t no flies on me, eh?) This was excerpted from:

Stunning poll results reveal pulse of the nation
Published: 04/03/2013
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The good news for the White House is that three of four respondents to a Public Policy Polling survey say they do not believe that Barack Obama is the Antichrist, the epitome of evil that the Bible explains will come to deceive people during the End Times.

But on the other hand, 13 percent are convinced he is, and another 13 percent – for a total of one in four across the nation – say they aren’t sure. 

It was question No. 8 on the organization’s national survey. Other questions asked whether people believed in global warming, whether Osama bin Laden was alive and whether a UFO crashed at Roswell, N.M., in 1947 and the U.S. government covered it up. 

According to the London Guardian, the survey asked about a number of conspiracy theories, which the report described as “insane.” 

The survey falls on the heels of the online world exploding with comments when the devil in the recent “The Bible” television miniseries bore a more-than-passing resemblance to Obama. Earlier, prophecy websites had a field day after Obama sparred with a fly, and it was reported he’s had a history of attracting flies during interviews. Religious and other websites noted that a biblical term for Satan, the Semitic deity Beelzebub, literally translates from Hebrew into “Lord of the Flies.” 

In the poll, 37 percent of respondents believe global warming is a hoax, 6 percent believe Osama bin Laden remains alive, 21 percent think that UFO crashed at Roswell, and 28 percent hold that a “secretive power elite with a globalist agenda is conspiring to eventually rule the world.”

In addition, 28 percent believe Saddam Hussein was involved in the 2001 terror attacks, 20 percent think there’s a link between childhood vaccines and autism, 7 percent believe the moon landing was faked, 29 percent believe in aliens, and 9 percent believe the reason the government adds fluoride to drinking water is more sinister than health reasons.

“Even crazy conspiracy theories are subject to partisan polarization, especially when there are political overtones involved,” said Dean Debnam, president of PPP. “But most Americans reject the wackier ideas out there about fake moon landings and shape-shifting lizards.”

The poll of 1,247 registered American voters last month has a margin of error of plus or minus 2.8 percent.

The poll indicated that even 5 percent of those who voted for Obama believe he is the Antichrist, as do 22 percent of Mitt Romney supporters. 

Obama’s encounters with flies earlier drew attention. 

“This guy is bothering me here,” said Obama, who repeatedly swatted at a large black fly buzzing near his face during a speech.

The London Telegraph noted a White House pool report said “the president spoke for about five minutes while being menaced by a house fly.” 

It was not the president’s first brush with a fly while the cameras were rolling. In 2010, Obama halted a speech about health care reform as a fly zipped around him. During a June 2009 CNBC interview, Obama killed a fly on camera. 

During a 2008 campaign appearance, Obama halted a local interview after a swarm of flies had gathered around him. 

At RevelationNow.net, a posting by “editorial staff” mused about whether Obama is possessed by a demonic entity. 

“I feel like I am watching a horror movie and the secret evil character is revealed by the evil signs around him,” the post read. 

Twitter exploded with comments when viewers of the miniseries “The Bible” saw an eerie similarity between the face of Obama and that of the Satan character, played by actor Mehdi Ouzaani. [...]
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Rush Limbaugh held up a photo of the actor on his famous “Dittocam” to show viewers that the Satan character was “a dead ringer” for Obama.

“Folks, it is uncanny,” Limbaugh noted, before quipping, “In light of that picture … the question that sprang to everybody’s mind is: if Satan had a son, would he look like the guy [in the White House]?”

It’s not the first time a connection has been made between evil in the Bible and Obama.

On Nov. 5, 2008, the very night Obama was first elected president, the Illinois Pick 3 lottery number for the Evening Pick was 666, a number associated with “the beast” mentioned in the Book of Revelation. Obama’s home state at the time was Illinois.

Other results of the new Public Policy Polling survey?

Four percent believe shape-shifting reptilian alien people control the world, 25 percent think Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone in killing Kennedy, 14 percent believe in Bigfoot and 15 percent think the media or the government adds mind-control technology to television signals.

Also, 15 percent say new diseases are invented by the pharmaceutical and medical industries, 11 percent believe the U.S. allowed the 9/11 terror attacks and 5 percent say Paul McCartney died in 1966 and was replaced by a lookalike.
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Obama: The Lord of Flies?? (2013) The Beelzebub Connection!
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Pretty funny stuffs, eh?

Do I think Barack Obama is secretly the Biblical anti-Christ? Is that why flies seem to be drawn to him? Nah. I don’t think Obama is anywhere near smart enough to be the infamous anti-Christ.

I think flies like Barack simply because he is 
a pile of dog doo-doo!

To Chris Matthews, Barack Obama certainly isn’t the ‘Lord Of The Flies’... he’s the ‘Lord Of His Thighs’:
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Aerosmith - Lord Of The Thighs (Lyrics)
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OK, so now you wanna know what I think about the Moon landing - fact or faked? Do I believe a UFO really crashed in Roswell, New Mexico, and the government covered it up? Obama didn’t really kill Osama? Oh, c’mon, man, I ain’t some wacky conspiracy theorist, ya know!

~ Stephen T. McCarthy

YE OLDE COMMENT POLICY: All comments, pro and con, are welcome. However, ad hominem attacks and disrespectful epithets will not be tolerated (read: "posted"). After all, this isn’t Amazon.com, so I don’t have to put up with that kind of bovine excrement.

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