Sunday, February 26, 2012

SEX, TATTOOS & VIOLENCE R US - #10

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Hey, we admit it, we’re as surprised as anyone that there is a tenth installment of the ‘Sex, Tattoos & Violence R Us’ series. We were certain that the ninth episode would be the last. (Hell, for that matter, we were just as sure that the seventh and eighth episodes were the finales to this highly popular, hotly debated, controversial Internet sensation!)

Because it has been nearly a year since the last installment of ‘S. T. & V. R Us’, a reminder of what this mess is all about is probably in order:

WHAT HAS YOU GOTTEN YERSELF INTO?
“Sex, Tattoos & Violence R Us” = An absolutely unrelated, multitudinous conglomeration of subjects all addressed in a single blog bit and tied together by absolutely nuttin’ (also known as a “Hodgepodge O’Nuttin”).

LATE-BREAKING NEWS ON THE MICHAEL JACKSON STORY
We here at ‘Ferret-Faced Fascist Friends’ have finally been able to confirm as fact that Pop Music superstar Michael Jackson has indeed died!

Furthermore, there are now rumors circulating that his personal doctor, Conrad Murray, is implicated in some sort of wrong-doing that may have played a part in the singer’s untimely death. Details are still sketchy in this developing story, but be assured that as soon as further information becomes available, we here at ‘Ferret-Faced Fascist Friends’ will hurry it to you.

THE JURY IS STILL OUT
Our reporter on the scene informs us that the jury is still out, deliberating on the fate of O.J. Simpson, who has been charged with the killing of his wife and is being tried in the Los Angeles County Superior Court.

As soon as the jury returns with its verdict, you can be sure that ‘Ferret-Faced Fascist Friends’ will bring that up-to-the-minute news to you.

‘FERRET-FACED FASCIST FRIENDS’ RATED 31% EVIL
Some months back a website called homokaasu.org had a gematriculator feature (which now seems to be defunct). Gematria has to do with affixing values to numbers in order to discern hidden meanings or indications. We here at ‘Ferret-Faced Fascist Friends’ do believe - although it’s not an actual science - that there is something to gematria. This belief is based upon our studies of that Book with the (usually) black cover.

Well, back when it was still available, my girlfriend Ariel, submitted the entire text – every single blog bit - of our ‘Ferret-Faced Fascist Friends’ blog for evaluation by the homokaasu gematriculator. Below is our official assessment:

http://xtremelyun-pcandunrepentant.blogspot.com/
is 31% evil, 69% good

Naturally, we were terribly embarrassed by those results, but we want to assure all of you, our faithful readers, that we repent of our past and we will make a concerted effort to elevate our level of evil in the very near future! We implore you to forgive us our goodness and give us a second chance!
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NOT GROOVY, SASQUATCH!
Ron Paul Ad - Rick Santorum a Conservative?



BITCH BEATS MOTHER!
A recently conducted, extensive nationwide poll by the 'Tattoo Institute of Tippecanoe' (T.I.T.) has indicated that today, the most commonly tattooed word on human bodies in the United States is BITCH.

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The #1 most tattooed word on American bodies during World War II was MOTHER, which in 2012, has declined to the 666th trillionth place.
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FROM THE ‘WHAT HAVE YOU DONE FOR US LATELY?’ FILE
It has come to the attention of Napoleon McCarthy, Stephen T. McCarthy and his girlfriend Ariel, that the “old-school” beer Pabst Blue Ribbon seems to have increased greatly in popularity lately, and this despite the explosion of the superior micro-brewed beer industry across this country.

Our p###y-whipped correspondent, Stephen T. McCarthy, stumbled into ‘The Recovery Room’ bar not long ago, and seeing the Pabst Blue Ribbon signs in the place, and noticing a few other hungover customers sipping from Pabst bottles, he decided to order one.

To STMcC’s taste buds (he calls them “beer buddies”), Pabst was the same ol’ cheap sh!t it’s always been. And he couldn’t help noticing the advertising on the label of the bottle:
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“Established in Milwaukee, 1844
Selected as America’s best in 1893”
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Hmmm… The first question that occurred to STMcC was:
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“How have you done in the subsequent 119 years?”
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It seems to us that if the last thing you have to boast of is something that occurred in 1893, perhaps it’s best to leave that off the label altogether.

[Incidentally, you dirty-minded readers, “p###y-whipped” stood for “party-whipped”; after all, we did say that STMcC was “hungover” when he “stumbled into ‘The Recovery Room’ bar”.]

REALLY, AMERICA?
YOU WANT 4 MO’ YEARS OF “GIRLIE-PREZ”?
In all seriousness, my Sister probably throws a baseball twice as good as one-third or half of the men in this country. (Well, she grew up with Brother Nappy and me, so whaddaya ‘spect?) But she throws a baseball about fifty times better than does the non-birth-certificate-havin’ p###y in the White House. [And, no, “p###y” did NOT stand for “party”.]

Raw Video: Obama Throws Out First Pitch



Our President and His Jeans - Obama Throws First Pitch



America, do you REALLY want two “First Ladies” in the White House for another four years?

COMPUTER GEEKS ARE PEOPLE TOO!
[...Nah, I’m Just Kidding.]
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After 13 years of working in the same building for the same huge, international company (which shall remain nameless, although it’s a name the reader would Shirley recognize), I found myself alone.
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That is to say, the company moved out of the building and into new digs, and I was left behind. One day while walking through the vacated, 4-story building, just meandering to the beat of my own drummer, I strolled into the now-empty I.T. Department (I.T. = ‘Information Technology’ – meaning, the department of computer gurus who installed, programmed, reprogrammed, and repaired all the computers at this important site for this major, mega-millions corporation).
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In the primary room formerly occupied by this company’s computer geeks, there was some junk left behind. Near the door I found a paper copy of the following graph pinned to the wall:



I really laughed! And do remember the next time your computer frigs out on you, and before you call an overpaid computer technician to your house: 98% of the time, the computer geek is going to “fix” your computer by simply “turning it off and on again”.


MAKIN’ NO WHOOPEE
The other night I rolled over in bed and whispered some sweet nuttin’s into the ear of my girlfriend, Ariel. Her reaction? She snapped, “Not tonight, Stephen, I have an airheadache!”
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Lemme tell ya, folks, when a dudeguy gets rejected by a woman he has bought, paid for, and blown up, it’ll make that fella feel mighty deflated.
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KEEPIN’ UP WITH THE STUFFSES
It has come to our attention that the wimply li’l weasel at the blog ‘STUFFS’ posted an advertisement for a good, less expensive, American-made “5-Hour Energy drink”-like product called ENERGY 2000.
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Well, just to prove that ‘Ferret-Faced Fascist Friends’ can keep up with the Stuffses, we want to tout a fine American-made product as well:
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These are plastic tumblers made by the TERVIS company in Venice, Florida. Tervis has been in business since 1946, and they are so convinced that their double-walled cups are indestructable that they will replace a broken one free of charge. (So far, Brother Nappy hasn’t broken his, and anything that can survive the Napster’s abuse will certainly survive YOURS!)
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Early last year I bought two of their tumblers – one holding 16 ounces and the other 24 ounces – at my local ‘Bed, Bath & Beyond’ store.
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These plastic cups are GREAT! First of all, they come decorated with almost every sort of design, slogan, and icon imaginable, in the form of a patch that is secured between the two plastic walls of the tumbler - everything from college and sports teams to local stuffs. [“Stuffs” – we HATE that word!]
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I bought one that includes a parrot overlooking a margarita, and it says “Wastin’ Away Again In Margaritaville”, and another one showing a skeleton seated under a saguaro cactus with the always popular local saying: ARIZONA: "…But It’s A Dry Heat."


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The tumblers are fantastic; I can’t believe how long and how cold they keep my beer. Once, I drank so much beer that I passed out, and when I regained consciousness 6 hours later and in San FranCrisco (don’t ask!), the beer in my tumbler was still almost as cold as it was when I passed out! That, people, is some serious quality - real attention to workmanship!
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All kidding aside, I LOVE my Tervis tumblers, and I’m sure you would too – ‘cept I ain’t given ‘em to ya. Buy yer own, damn-it!
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“LADY” AND THE MAROON
In the September 1, 2011 edition of Rolling Stone magazine, there was a short blurb titled ‘Lady And The Gramp’, pertaining to Tony Bennett and Lady Gaga (GagGag) recording the song “Lady And The Tramp” together for Bennett’s album ‘Duets II’.
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Bennett is quoted as saying of Lady Gaga: “I personally think she’s going to be as big as Elvis Presley”.
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I’ve always believed Tony Bennett was a vastly overrated singer, and my suspicion about him being a moron is now confirmed. I mean, let’s face it, you’ve got to be quite the maroon to think what Tony does about Lady GagGag. But regardless, the first thought that entered my mind upon reading that was this:
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Hell, ANYONE could be as big as Elvis Presley . . .
if they ate enough.
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SAY IT LOUD: I'M BLOG AND I'M PROUD!
This is just a shout-out to publicly acknowledge and express appreciation to and for the latest addition to the 'Ferret-Faced Fascist Friends' harem: Nitro Wilbury Babskiddo of the 'Far Away Series' blog. [That's pronounced "Bab-Skid-DUE", you know, like, "Bab-Skid-DUE"?]
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(Hi, Nitro.)
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'THIS WAS NOT A MARK GOODSON - BILL TODMAN PRODUCTION
In the 6th edition of ‘Sex, Tattoos & Violence R Us’, we included a link to the old (and long defunct) Disneyland attraction 'America Sings'Now that we have the technology, we are including the YouTube video on our own site.
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‘America Sings’, which existed in Tomorrowland from 1974 to early 1988, was one of my 3 favorite Disneyland attractions (and, surprisingly, like another one of my Top Three favorite attractions – ‘America the Beautiful’ in Circle-Vision – it was free of charge, with admission to the park).
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Here is a video of the great, Great, GREAT show (God knows how much I loved it!) :

America Sings - Happy 4th of July


[To see it full-screen, click the URL below...]

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This has been another fine Ariel O. O’Airedale & Stephen T. McCarthy production, brought to you by our sponsor the...
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'10  AT  2  KENNEL  KLUB  SALOON' 
Where  Every  Dog  Has  Its  Night 
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“Hey,  you,  put  that  bitch  on  a  leash!..." 

'F-FFF' ADDENDUM:
OK, y’all, the break is over and it’s time to get back to yer studies:
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One of the major points that the ‘Ferret-Faced Fascist Friends’ blog has attempted to illustrate over the years is that there is no significant difference between most professional Republicans and most professional Democrats (Ron Paul being the most notable exception).
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Our argument (which we have proven time and time again) is that one semi-secret, Elite entity controls BOTH major political parties and this ongoing public “argument” between them is a perfect example of the oldest trick in the book: Divide And Conquer. (Well, really, the OLDEST “trick” in the book is probably a “John” visiting a Soiled Dove but, you know, we’re talkin’ politics now.)
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The so-called “war” between the Dumb-O-Crats and the Repugnantcans is just theater for public consumption; both teams really work for the  “New World Order” oligarchy that will soon reveal itself openly.

Although the following article written by Gregory A. Hession and printed in ‘The New American’ magazine back on 9/1/2008 doesn’t come right out and say this, if you have any intelligence about you at all, it should be clear that the entire “Conservatives Vs. Liberals Show” has been mostly nothing but a ‘Punch & Judy’ show orchestrated by a single puppeteer. Yes, you were HAD! And you’re still being HAD if you’re still buying into that phony baloney façade . . .

Click Here:
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~ Stephen T. McCarthy (and Ariel O. O’Airedale)

Back Issues:

YE OLDE COMMENT POLICY: All comments, pro and con, are welcome. However, ad hominem attacks and disrespectful epithets will not be tolerated (read: "posted"). After all, this isn’t Amazon.com, so I don’t have to put up with that kind of bovine excrement.
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Saturday, February 4, 2012

DOGS, VOMIT, FOOLS AND FOLLY

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQqiIagOcSI

~ Stephen T. McCarthy

YE OLDE COMMENT POLICY: All comments, pro and con, are welcome. However, ad hominem attacks and disrespectful epithets will not be tolerated (read: "posted"). After all, this isn’t Amazon.com, so I don’t have to put up with that kind of bovine excrement.
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Wednesday, February 1, 2012

1959: BEFORE THE “PSEUDO-ATHEIST” CANCER METASTASIZED

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You’ll remember that on January 8th I posted a blog bit titled You’re A Mean One, “Atheist” in which I called your attention to the fact that this last Christmas season a bunch of fake atheists had organized in a (sadly successful) attempt to interfere as much as possible with the decades-old tradition of the Santa Monica Nativity Scenes.

The tradition began in 1953. Ordinarily, in December, a number of booths or “scenes” illustrating the birth and early days of Jesus are erected along the Palisades Park, where the bluffs meet the sea in Santa Monica, California.


Well, for years the dirty dog pseudo-atheistic antisocial Socialists have been trying to disrupt the Santa Monica Nativity Scenes and throw a monkey wrench into the enjoyment that believers derive from this well known city custom. This year they succeeded, and the unfolding story of the birth of Christ was reduced to just three displays.

My good ol’ pal Pooh read my blog bit pertaining to this subject and then sent me a link to a 27-minute YouTube video called ‘Where The Mountains Meet The Sea’.

The video is really a promotional movie made in 1959 – the year of my birth – and was probably commissioned by the Chamber of Commerce or some organization along those lines. The primary reason I am posting it below is to illustrate the fact that even as early as 1959 the Santa Monica Nativity Scenes was so well known and popular that it was mentioned in this promotional short.

If you don’t wish to watch the entire program, you can simply fast-forward to the 19-minute mark, which is the point where the Santa Monica Nativity Scenes are mentioned and shown.

 At the 16-minute mark, the video’s narrator refers to Santa Monica as “this progressive city by the sea”. Boy, is progressive ever the right word! Even in the 1970s, when I was growing up in that city, it was often derisively referred to as “The Soviet Socialist Republic Of Santa Monica” and “The People's Republic Of Santa Monica”.

There are two things in this video program that go to show just how far our society has fallen:

#1) The fact that what was appreciated and noncontroversial in 1959 was, in 2011, allowed by the
so-called city “leaders” to be hijacked and all but killed off by a small collection of ultra-minority extremists.

#2) Notice that when the Nativity Scenes are shown nineteen minutes into this program, they are NOT enclosed by chain-link fencing! That’s because back then there was very little concern about vandalism. It was almost unthinkable that anyone in ’59 would deface, destroy, or steal anything from a Nativity scene. However, in our modern, secular, enlightened, "progressive" society, what remains of the Nativity Scenes in Palisades Park must be secured behind fencing or it would be utterly wrecked - probably on the first evening after its construction.

On a slightly more personal and less political note, right at the 25-minute mark in this program we are shown a few seconds of film shot at the U.C.L.A. Medical Center. By coincidence, I was born in that hospital the very year this movie was made. The odds are 1 in 365 that the Medical Center was photographed on the day of my birth. I may have let out my first cry the moment the director yelled, “Action!”.

. . . And I’m still cryin’.

WHERE THE MOUNTAINS MEET THE SEA: Santa Monica, California (1959)



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7H96dfLweVg

~ Stephen T. McCarthy

Link:
The ‘Santa Monica Nativity Scenes’ website

YE OLDE COMMENT POLICY: All comments, pro and con, are welcome. However, ad hominem attacks and disrespectful epithets will not be tolerated (read: "posted"). After all, this isn’t Amazon.com, so I don’t have to put up with that kind of bovine excrement.
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