Friday, January 30, 2009

7 Remastered RANDOM THOUGHTS + 1 Previously Unreleased BONUS TRACK And 1 ALTERNATE TAKE

#1: One thing that boggles my mind is how Republican voters never seem to notice that their representatives in government talk a great game but never truly act upon the principles they espouse. Boy, when they need your vote, they’re all about “reducing the size of government, releasing the national headlock on American education and restoring liberty to the people by abolishing the tyranny of federal regulations over every aspect of the citizen’s life.” But once in power, these so-called “conservatives” forget all of that, and in fact, often increase the cost and scope of federal government beyond what even their Democrat predecessors had established, while occasionally tossing their lap dog voters a slight tax break bone to keep up appearances (see Reagan and “W"). One would think that the Republican voter would eventually catch on and realize that the movers and shakers within his own political party have been lying to him, but he never does. And when the next election rolls around, the Republican voter will once again buy into the slogans and faithfully put his X next to the name of the man or woman with the “R” adjoined. Why do you suppose the Republican voter never wakes up to the fact that he is being duped? I know the answer and it rhymes with “dimbulb.” Oh, wait! It is “dimbulb.”

#2: In his inaugural speech, Barack Obama made the statement: “America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office but because we the people have remained faithful to the ideals of our forebears and true to our founding documents.” Well, that’s enough bullsh#t to choke an ox. This country finds itself in so much trouble precisely BECAUSE, for at least a hundred years, we have IGNORED the ideals of our forebears and our founding documents! And I find it ironic that – with a pretense of concern about faithfully following the dictates of the U.S. Constitution - Omama(!) retook the oath of office because a word was misplaced when the oath was originally administered to him, but yet he still refuses to allow the American People to see a copy of his official birth certificate in order to satsify the Article II, Section I demands of that same Constitution. Omama(!) has correctly pegged the mass of Americans as blind maroons. This guy is “too much for Dick Tracy.”

#3: I can’t tell y’all how comforting it is to know that Barack Omama(!) has named former Arizona governor Janet Napolitano as this country’s new Secretary of the Department of Homeland Security. I can’t tell y’all that because it’s NOT COMFORTING at all. I mean, here’s a woman – I guess - who couldn’t even keep illegal immigrants from overrunning her state from South Of The Border, but now she’s expected to keep the entire nation safe from lawbreakers and terrorists? I won’t even begin to tell you how she played a role in wrecking Arizona’s economy. But I suppose she does deserve credit for SOMETHING: she did manage to keep city authorities from placing Christmas decorations on our streets in honor of that mythical principle of “Separation of Church and State.” Only in politics and the movie industry is it possible for a person to fail their way to the top.

#4: I can’t help noticing that, despite his continual promise of “Change”, Barack Omama(!) has named all the usual Democrat suspects to positions of power in his new administration. If your idea of “Change” is replacing a bunch of old Marxist Neocons with a bunch of old Marxist Democrats, then yes, I suppose Omama(!) has brought “Change.” Good on ya, Swami Obamee!

#5: I was speaking with The Great L.C. at work one night last week and we were brainstorming on how to pull this country out of its economic woes. Then I suddenly hit upon a novel idea and I said, “I’ve got it! Why don’t we try capitalism? I mean, nothing else seems to work. Government should just get out of the business of Business and let pure economic forces do their thing.” Look, People, I realize this sounds crazy an’ all, but if the Arizona Cardinals can make it to the Super Bowl then ANYTHING’S possible. "Free Market Capitalism: an idea whose time has come."

#6: Periodically, I’ll listen to a local Phoenix radio station’s political talk show hosted by former Arizona Congressman J.D. Hayworth. He’s just about the only neocon I can stand to listen to. Once in awhile he takes an opposing viewpoint, and he does have a good personality which makes his show somewhat palatable for me. During the presidential campaign, he would do a voice impersonation of Senator John McCain which was pretty good and pretty funny. I mentioned this to my Brother and he said Hayworth also does a good Bill Clinton and Charlie Rangel. Well, I’ve since caught both of those impersonations and my Bro’s right, they are good. But last week he was doing Barney Frank and it really cracked me up. Hayworth makes Barney sound like a gay Elmer Fudd. Frankly, funny!

#7: I had a dental appointment on January 22nd, and while I was in the waiting room waiting for the woman who came in before me to shut her mouth, I was watching the Fox News broadcast of some White House briefing that they were showing in the dental office on their big screen TV teat. White House spokesman Robert Gibbs was yakking and I noticed that he’d say “Uh” about very third of fourth word. There was also some female Fox News Talking Head analyzing the situation – I can’t recall her name now… Hedy Lamarr, Suzy Chapstick, Merle Haggard, something like that. Anyway, whatever her name was, every two sentences she would say “You know.” Blah, Blah, Blah, you know. Or, You know, blah, blah, blah. One would think that people making their living by yakking in public would perhaps take some public speaking courses, or at least privately work on polishing their delivery a little in order to present a professionally smooth and pleasant “oralsphere”… yUH know?


The company I work for is now proposing the banning of cigarette smoking anywhere on the property. It’s not enough that smokers have been banished to a small corner in the back 40 of the premises for years, they now want to deny them the right to smoke ANYWHERE. I have never been a smoker, so this won’t affect me in any way, but nevertheless, the proposal ticks me off. How typical of Corporate America. Corporations: where fresh, young minds go to climb, conform and die. And good ol’ America: where a perfectly legal activity like smoking is banned but a woman has a (supposedly) CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHT to murder her baby in the womb! America, your priorities are in the toilet and you followed them in. One of these days, God is going to flush that crapper and then you’ll get your great comeuppance. Er… GoDowneth.

[Presented Here For The First Time In Its Unedited Form]:

Thanks to Swami Obamee, we now have former Arizona Governor Janet Napolitano as America’s Secretary of the Department of Homeland Security. This is the same Leftist Democrat who couldn’t even please a good deal of her fellow liberals in her own state. What is it about these Dumb-O-Crat presidents that makes them place manly women named Janet in power over federal “police” departments? With Bubba it was Janet Reno, and with Barack it’s Janet Napolitano.

It’s been a good 32 or 33 years since I’ve held a copy of Elton John’s album “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road” in my hands, but I recall that on the inside of the cover there was an illustration for the song “All The Girls Love Alice.” Photographs of Napolitano have always reminded me of the matronly woman in that album illustration who seeks the affection of Alice. But now that Napolitano has federal police powers (look out, terrorists!), I think this famous old rhyme is right on time:

Lizzie Janet took an axe
And gave Muhammad forty whacks.
And when she saw what she had done
She gave ol’ Ahmed forty-one.

~ Stephen T. McCarthy

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