HOW I’M GETTING OVER (THE HELL THAT IS 2012)

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If Yer Gonna Be Stoopid,

Ya Gotta Be Tough.   

I found the message immediately above printed on the underside of the beer cap from a bottle of Big Sky I.P.A. Its relationship to the theme of this blog bit is tenuous, but it’s funny, so I decided to start with that ‘cause there ain’t much humor left in Me, Myself, and I. Methinks, Myselfthinks, and Ithinks we’re all laughed-out for now. (We’re also a little concerned that we may be suffering from a multiple personality disorder. Well, I and Myself are, anyway; Me doesn’t think so. But then again, Me always thinks it’s all about him – the selfish son-of-a-bitch!)

2012 – What a year it’s been! With only a few exceptions, everyone I personally know thinks 2012 has been hellish. You can put me on that list too, near the top. Oh, sure, it could be worse - I could be literally starving to death in India - but it’s been pretty bad nonetheless. All year I’ve felt like I was buried alive, upside down in a coffin way too small for me; it's been a black and claustrophobic 8 months.

One part of my problem is that my job of 14+ years has turned into a living nightmare in which all I see for about 44 hours a week are sick and hurting people, welfare addicts, drug-seeking taxi cab passengers, and strangers vomiting into plastic trays. 90% of the people I encounter are more than 100 pounds overweight, and more than 100% of those overweight people have their fat bodies 90% covered in tattoos. (Don’t question my math.)

NO! None of that is exaggeration; it’s the truth, it’s my reality while I’m “on the clock”, and I have my brogue-yakking, Budweiser-swilling, Ireland-born boss to thank for it. He did, however, inspire me recently to compose a limerick which I actually wrote on one of my official work reports. (If anyone in authority ever reads my reports, I’ll get fired. Actually, “fired” is not such a terrible thought – unemployment line here I come – money for nothing and your time is free!)

LIMERICK  FOR  AN  IRISH  BOSS

There once was a man named McPrick

Who pulled off a pretty neat trick:

He brown-nosed his way

Into a job with more pay,

Though he didn’t know his a_s from his di_k.

Yeah, as a person who tries to follow the teachings of Jesus, I know I’m supposed to forgive my Irish boss and all the welfare addicts, drug-seeking taxi cab passengers, and tattooed fatties. But the thing is, although I’ve often said I’m attempting to follow Jesus, I NEVER said I was good at it!

“PEACE ON EARTH begins with peace within yourself.” (Of course, there’s also something to be said for a well-placed bullet.)

I really hate to turn this, my first blog bit in over 3 weeks, into a big, whining sob story but . . . I am. In all honesty, I did not think it was possible for me to reach this depth of depression after having accepted Christ as my Savior on April 6, 1994. I truly believed that something like my personal Great Depression of 1986 was impossible now that I had Jesus in my heart. Well, 2012 is starting to make 1986 look like a walk in the park . . . with balloons and cotton candy!

Yes, peoples, family members, friends, lovers, and enemies, I have been battling dark thoughts – very dark thoughts – almost hourly for about 6 months now. And I gotta tell ya, it’s a little depressing to feel this depressed! (Please, no phone calls or Emails; just send money. How about tens and twenties?)

Fifty-three years old now with no career in sight, no sense of purpose, just this utterly unfulfilled emptiness inside.

Sometimes I feel so uninspired

Sometimes I feel like giving up

Sometimes I feel so very tired

Sometimes I feel like I've had enough

OK, I need to say something humorous at this point to uplift this sagging blog bit. Uh... well... hmmm... Sorry. I got nuttin’.

Don’t worry ‘bout me though, it ain’t like I’m gonna kill myself (in a painful manner), or go on a shooting spree where my boss works (without plenty of ammo). Alright, that was something close to humorous. Thank you, Jesus!

The only real difference between ‘My Great Depression Of 1986’ and ‘My Great Depression Of 2012’ (other than the fact that 2012 has been even worse) is that instead of listening to David & David’s album ‘Boomtown’ and letting it pull me down deeper...

 ...I’ve been listening to Gospel music instead, hoping it will Move Me On Up A Little Higher.

No matter how long this dark mood lasts (until it too passes?), or how dismally I've failed to fulfill my potential, I hope, at the least, God will take into consideration that throughout this Great Depression, I never stopped reading His Holy Bible; and I continued praying for myself and others, even though my prayers are no longer of the higher meditative form.

I haven’t thrown God under the bus. (Although, at this point, if the devil has an offer to make, I’d at least hear him out and see what he brings to the table; my soul is available at a bargain basement price.) “UNCLE!” Please let me Up, Father. I’ve had enough!

So, how am I getting over this mood? I’m not. But Gospel music has helped a little. Plus, God talks to a friend of mine, and my friend talks back to God. Uh... I mean that in a good way. And it seems that God has somehow, miraculously (and I may mean “miraculously” literally) convinced my friend that I’m not the jackass I often seem to be; that some of my faults can be viewed as strengths. [I thank you, NWB.] Aside from that, I’m sure God The Father will ultimately save me from myself because “I Knew Jesus [in Jerusalem] Before He Was A Superstar”. When you’re in good with His Son, you’re in good with The Father.

A little embarrassing to admit this, but my first real introduction to Gospel music came at Disneyland in the mid-1970s. One of my very favorite attractions was ‘America Sings’. And at the 4:35 mark in ‘America Sings’, a Southern Baptist choir of animatrons (hens, foxes, and frogs) launches into the song ‘Down By The Riverside’. I always LOVED that – it was my favorite song in the entire attraction - but I was still years away from learning that it was called “Gospel singing” and it was a celebration of God’s salvation.

America Sings - Happy 4th of July

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nppYUxuJuds

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Below are videos representing some of the songs I’ve been listening to recently, hoping that the music will save me, even if the The Father and Son team who inspired them are dragging their feet. (Oops! Forgive me, God. Help me, Jesus!)

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First, a group called The Malibooz from an album titled ‘LIVING WATER (The Surfer’s Mass)’. You get a real feel for the sort of world we’re living in when you consider that Lady GagGag and Afro Dogg can become multi-millionaires turning out vacuous disco and rap crap respectively, while the gorgeous music contained on ‘Living Water’ goes uncelebrated:

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Mountains and hills and seas and rivers, bless the Lord

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Benedicite

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_cDymVHZLc

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Found in letting go

Is where control resides

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Caught A Wave

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yTgXusqo5jM

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Here are a couple of Gospel tunes from the soundtrack of the movie ‘LEAP OF FAITH’. (One of the rare times in this modern age that Hollywood managed to make a movie about God and Christ without mocking Them.)

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I've been lonely, I've been cheated, I've been misunderstood; I've been washed up, I've been put down, and told I'm no good. But with You I belong, 'cause You helped me be strong. There's a change in my life since You came along. 

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John Pagano "Change In My Life" from the film "Leap Of Faith"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbqV9Hn7cL4

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Said, “He who has ears, let him hear”

He told the multitudes

And blessed be the pure of heart

For they shall see The Truth

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Patti LaBelle-Are You Ready For A Miracle ?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BD1FYDOM4Ts

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Joel Chernoff is a “Messianic Jew” – that is, a Jew who still values some of the ancient traditions but who also recognizes that Jesus was indeed the Messiah sent to Israel, and who has accepted Salvation through the Blood of The Lamb. I think Joel has a beautifully smooth voice and he means what he sings.

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I Didn't Know (I Was Missing You) Joel Chernoff with lyrics

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3coz7r-e0I

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Here’s Joel Chernoff in a hard-rocking mood and rejoicing because of promises from God to Israel. There’s bad news for the Muslim extremists: Not only is Islam a false religion and allah a demon, but Israel will NEVER be wiped off the map like they want. (Oh, gee, I sure hope I haven’t offended any assassins from “the religion of peace”. You gonna take me out? By all means, please do!)

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And one mo’ thang: Barack Hussein Obama is a Christian to the same degree that I’m a Muslim. (Has he ever, even once, told the truth about anything? Oh, wait. Yes, he has. He finally came out and told the truth about his support for gay marriage. Good for you, President Marxslim.)

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You tell those Muslims, Joel, you tell ‘em! . . .

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No Weapon Formed

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Ms4h4EiDP4

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Saved the best for last. Mahalia Jackson, “The Queen Of Gospel Music”. I recently finished ‘Just Mahalia, Baby’ by Laurraine Goreau, the most disastrously presented biography I’ve ever read. It was written in this terribly tedious Ebonics style and was so poorly edited that it literally contained hundreds of pages of the most mind-numbing minutiae imaginable! The reader will come away from this gigantic book aware of every single time Mahalia had gas, swollen feet, or even thought about calling a doctor. I got to the point where I was wishing Mahalia would just die already so the damned book would come to an end!

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Nevertheless, there was of course some really good information in ‘Just Mahalia, Baby’. (How could there not be when every single moment of Mahalia’s life was chronicled in it?) I found Mahalia right after I found Jesus in 1994. I had gone into a little Christian bookstore that used to be in L.A.’s Westwood Village because I wanted some of that good ol’ Gospel music (like I’d heard in Disneyland’s ‘America Sings’ ride) to go with my newfound Salvation. (Thank you, Jesus!)

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I bought two double-CD boxed sets of Mahalia’s music and was simply blown away. At times, her singing (especially ‘Elijah Rock’ and ‘How I Got Over’) really did bring me to tears – tears of gratitude. Our gratitude: it’s the ONLY thing that we can give to God that He can’t get for Himself.

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Below are some favorite moments excerpted from the book ‘Just Mahalia, Baby’:

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When she was just 14 years old and dirt-poor in New Orleans, Mahalia said that Jesus “told me to open my mouth in His name.”

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I totally believe her, because she obviously had a God-given gift; how could one sing that well without any vocal training, and sing in that manner without any Divine inspiration deep inside of them?

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Anybody heard Mahalia, heard “Hallelujah!” whenever the spirit moved, and that’s the God’s truth.

~ Laurraine Goreau

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Yes, and over the years I also came to recognize on my own that when you find Mahalia starting in with that out-of-sync clapping, she is in the process of being filled by the living Holy Spirit of God; the clapping starts when her cup starts overflowing with the Spirit and it needs to be expressed even beyond her voice.

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Mr. Russell showed up. … He just wanted to tell her again how wonderful she’d been, how remarkable ‘Silent Night’ was; had everybody in church in tears. “How do you do it?” Mahalia fixed the full force of her being on him. “DON’T YOU KNOW?” she said in disgust. This man been around her all this much, and don’t know her singing’s from God.

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Ten days after Martin Luther King Jr. had been killed, Mahalia gave an Easter concert at the Forum in Inglewood, California. In singing the song ‘We Shall Overcome’, on the line “we shall all be free”, something pierced through her voice that exploded the teetering dam and the audience went up! out, over, onto the big stage in a screaming, shouting, crying, hollering, jumping mass. … It was a jubilee. Mahalia was pitched high . . . Weeeeeee shall over – yes!- we’ll overcome! Yes! Lord!” … Mahalia was nowhere in this world. Gwen was still playing, tears running down … Yancey and one guard were guiding Mahalia down the long hall to the dressing room. She was still singing, echoes bouncing back on echoes in the narrow corridor … An hour and a half later, calm had come.

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And now my favorite Mahalia Jackson quote. This spoken before an audience in Japan...

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“There have been some very, very intellectual people that have gone around saying ‘God is dead.’ Well, He’s not dead,” said Mahalia, “because I talked to Him this morning.”

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Alright, let’s get on it!

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Mahalia often said that she wasn’t really singing for the audience; she was singing for God. Proof of that can be seen in this first video when she walks away from the microphone and she’s still singing her soul out. Obviously, it had nothing to do with her or those trying to hear her from the audience section; it was “souly” about praising God.

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It’s a fact that a number of people throughout Mahalia’s lifetime reported being healed of serious illnesses, both physical and emotional illnesses, while listening to Mahalia sing. Yes, she had a Divine gift, no doubt about it and no faith required – just listen.

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When Mahalia sings, audiences do more than just listen – they undergo a profoundly moving emotional experience.

~ People Today magazine

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You know, this one’s for the atheists. No one is going to sing like this for cheeseburgers. It’s about spirit and truth, it’s about a living God that created all things. This is the reason she sings, because God has put something special in her heart, and she is happy because of that! Yes, atheist, it’s true. And He loves you! God loves you.

~ Sorrel555; YouTube

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Mahalia Jackson Just A Closer Walk With Thee

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vl9SuZAKcVY&feature=player_embedded

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I don’t think this is Mahalia’s best version of ‘Elijah Rock’, although it does rock! (Hopefully this didn’t scare the White folk too much. Ha!) In these next two videos, concentrate on Mahalia’s eyes; when she was overflowing with The Holy Spirit, one can actually detect a strange, unearthly kind of light in her eyes. It’s not just a trick of the stage lighting either, because I’ve seen it over and over again, in live footage and even in still photographs.

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She sings as if it will hurt her if she cant get it out … Her vocal POWER has never been duplicated.

~ Elfeco; YouTube

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...And she was offstage still dancing, skirt hem lifted, head down, eyes closed, face in-drawn with her vision ... a half-shake of her head and Laurraine pulled young Kurt Collien’s arm away: “She’s in the spirit, she has to work it out.”

~ Laurraine Goreau

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Elijah Rock, Shout! Shout!

Elijah Rock, Comin' up, Lord!

~ Mahalia Jackson

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MAHALIA JACKSON Live during European tour late 1960's

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XscK8V4Veac

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You know I’m gonna sing and never get tired.

~ Mahalia Jackson (song: ‘How I Got Over’)

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Let me sing all day and never get tired.

~ Van Morrison (song: ‘Give Me My Rapture’)

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Saved the best of the best for last. Mahalia Jackson singing ‘HOW I GOT OVER’ in concert. Despite the many visual glitches in the video, it is SO worth watching and listening to.

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In my opinion, this is the most Divinely-inspired vocal performance ever, and hence the most powerful and intense vocal performance of all time! Mahalia’s face is just so beautiful and there’s that unearthly, spiritual light that can be discerned shining in her eyes as this song just pours out of her! When you see Mahalia start in with that odd, non-rhythmic clapping at the four minute and eight second mark (4:08), you know it’s on! Scoot over, baby, ‘cause The Holy Spirit’s drivin’ this Cadillac now. You just ride shotgun and hang on! 

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Mahalia Jackson--How I got over LIVE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l49N8U3d0Bw

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Why did there have to be a heavy cross He was made to bear?

And why did they nail His feet and hands

When His love would have held Him there?

~ Michael Card (1994 song: ‘Why?’)

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Now if I can just ‘Keep My Hand On The Plow’, and if someone will hire me away from my current employer.  Got job?

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Got Jesus? Got God? Got healing? Got peace o’ mind?

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How I’m Getting Over: Great Gospel music, a bottle opener, and multiple 12-ounce doses of medicine. However, I’m keeping my .38 Smith & Wesson revolver loaded and handy just in case those fail me. One way or another, this boy’s goin’ to find his peace of mind, even if that mind winds up sprayed all over one of his bedroom walls like a George Romero movie poster. (Just jesting, Jesus. He'p me, Father!) 

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~ Stephen T. McCarthy

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YE OLDE COMMENT POLICY: All comments, pro and con, are welcome. However, ad hominem attacks and disrespectful epithets will not be tolerated (read: "posted"). After all, this isn’t Amazon.com, so I don’t have to put up with that kind of bovine excrement.

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