THE TRUTH ABOUT TRUTH:

All truth passes through three stages.
First, it is ridiculed.
Second, it is violently opposed.
Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.



Saturday, January 19, 2013

POLL RESULTS: A MAJORITY OF PEOPLE ENJOY SEX AND THIS BLOG

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Calvin: "Well, Dad, your polls are real high this week".
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Dad: "I'm glad to hear that".
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Calvin: "Yep, those polled think you're doing a fine job as Dad".
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Calvin: "In fact, with a little push today, your political stock could reach a record high".
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Dad: "Nice try. Go help your Mom with the dishes".
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Calvin: "Ooh Dad! Suicide! Ooh! Ooh!"
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Well, as a blogger, it appears I’ve never quite committed political suicide (despite my best efforts). I’m sure I’ve ticked off a few people (like the Maroon Cartoon who has been rating my recent blog bits “Lumpy Grits” but who doesn’t have the courage to publicly debate me in the comment sections and prove me to be “un-Cap’n Crunch-like”).
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No matter, because it seems the majority of the readers of ‘Ferret-Faced Fascist Friends’ enjoy the blog.
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I can no longer recall on what date I activated the ‘Reader Satisfaction Poll’ on this blog, but I know for sure that it was no less than two years ago. I do, however, specifically remember why I decided to schedule the poll to expire on 12/21/12 at 11:59 PM. That was the last minute of the Mayan Calendar End-Of-The-World prophecy. I figured there was no reason to let the poll run beyond the time that the Earth would exist.
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Anyway, below is the final results of the poll:
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Poll closed:  12/21/2012 at 11:59 PM.
Votes: 30
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READER SATISFACTION POLL: DID YOU ENJOY THIS BLOG?
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Sure! Who wouldn't?
17 votes (56%)
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No! Stephen T. McCarthy should take a long walk on a short plank over a vat filled with angry junkyard dogs, riled Okefenokee 'gators, and irritable PMS-suffering women!
7 votes (23%)
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The voices in my head are giving me the Silent Treatment, so I’m not sure.
6 votes (20%)
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[I suggest we confiscate the guns from those six voters before doctors write them prescriptions for Effexor, Luvox, Lithium, Thorazine, Prozac and Ritalin. Just a crazy thought I had.]
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As you can see, an astounding 56% majority of the voters enjoyed this blog. (If you believe in God, pray for them. If you’re an atheist, start believing in God, and then pray for them!)
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The poll’s reference to “riled Okefenokee 'gators” was not just a croc(k) o’ crap. In fact, I was once lost in the Okefenokee Swamp with my buddy Eric, and as night fell, alligators began to converge on us for the kill.
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The ‘Okefenokee Swamp W/ Alligators’ story can be found here: GOBLINS, ‘GATORS, AND THINGS THAT GO “WHO?” IN THE NIGHT
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I like you for liking this blog. Now go kill Osama for your Mama and tell the Americonned people that a female-led Navy Seal team did the deed. (They’ll believe that. They’ll believe anything!)
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Regarding the title’s claim that a “majority of people enjoy sex” – that was merely an assumption on my part. I have no hard data to support that claim, but it probably wouldn’t be hard to come by.
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~ Stephen T. McCarthy
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YE OLDE COMMENT POLICY: All comments, pro and con, are welcome. However, ad hominem attacks and disrespectful epithets will not be tolerated (read: "posted"). After all, this isn’t Amazon.com, so I don’t have to put up with that kind of bovine excrement.
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12 comments:

  1. Stephen-

    You need to make an allowance for the "official" story being that a woman led the Seal team...

    They'd already cast Jessica Chastain for the movie, so the military and White House went along.

    LC

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh, well, if the movie had already been cast... sure.

    Come to think of it, Hollywood stories often seem more plausible than do Uncle Sam's "official" stories about... nearly everything.

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

    ReplyDelete
  3. Love Calvin and Hobbes.

    I missed out on the poll since I didn't discover your blog until very recently. However, I like it.

    Sex is a variable. With the right guy it is awesome. With the wrong one, it is excruciating. As in terrible. I have reached my limit with POTUS and all people who do POTUS-speak. Sex with the wrong guy is just.like.that. Nails on a chalkboard. Just stop already. I really can't stand one more second of hearing you, seeing you, even the thought of you. I think you get the idea.

    ReplyDelete
  4. ROBIN ~
    Like, thanks for liking what I'd like you to like.

    >> . . . Sex... With the right guy... is awesome.

    I have to disagree with you there. There is no such thing as "the right guy" when it comes to sex.

    Then again, my personal "confident heterosexual" viewpoint may have colored my opinion somewhat.

    Thanks for reading and commenting.

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

    ReplyDelete
  5. Good news... the blog bit title should bring in 400% more internet traffic.

    SigToo

    ReplyDelete
  6. MASTER SIG II ~
    Ha! (You read me like a book, Bro.) That is PRECISELY why I put that 3-letter word in the title. It's there to serve no other purpose. (And, no, I'm not referring to the word "and".)

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

    ReplyDelete
  7. I definitely enjoy your blog, Stephen (although I missed the poll--been kind of delinquent on blogging et al), even though I have no clue whether you're serious or tongue-in-cheek. At face value, I disagree with 99.9% of your posts--but isn't that what makes them worth reading? You incense me, and I do my best thinking incensed :D

    Re sex, I think the majority of people enjoy the *idea* of sex. Whether the majority of people have an actual satisfying sex life is a different matter :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. GUILIE ~

    >> . . . I have no clue whether you're serious or tongue-in-cheek.

    Yeah, me neither.

    >> . . . At face value, I disagree with 99.9% of your posts

    I appreciate hearing how consistent my viewpoints are.

    I will give you some credit for reading a blog you disagree with all but .10% of the time. (Most people in that situation would just delete my blog from those they 'Follow'.)

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

    ReplyDelete
  9. I'm a little confused, not surprised are you? I thought the only poll was that one there at the end, you know the Cap'n Crunch or Lumpy Grits check the box deal. I never saw no other poll. I think. No matter. What I really want to hear about is 'The Blistering Bicker Brothers Tour'. Does it involve matching shirts? Just thinking about the possibilities has me rolling on the floor.

    ReplyDelete
  10. FARAWAYEYES ~
    Yeah, the poll I'm referring to (which is still visible) was (is) at the very bottom of the home page of this blog.

    For a long time the poll was more noticeable, but then I added those paintings above it which pretty much hid it from view. When I added the paintings, I should have moved the poll up above them but... I didn't.

    >> . . . 'The Blistering Bicker Brothers Tour'. Does it involve matching shirts?

    Sounds like you've been reading some of my old STUFFS' stuffs.

    And, no, thankfully it did NOT involve matching T-shirts. Once was enough. (Can you imagine if we'd died that day and our bodies were discovered in those matching shirts? I would have died of embarrassment... if I wasn't already dead.)

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

    ReplyDelete
  11. I'm sure you wouldn't have any trouble coming up with hard data and statistics to prove whatever you want to prove. Are you familiar with the IgNobel prizes? One of the last batch went to a neuroscientist who essentially said that if using sophisticated machinery and certain statistical analyses, a researcher could find significant brain activity in just about anything, including a dead fish. You just have to know how to massage the data. (The doctors I used to work with were particularly skillful at doing that.)

    ReplyDelete
  12. SUSAN ~
    Nope, I don't think I'd heard of the IgNoble Prize before. However, I believe some of the real Nobel Prizes have been pretty ignoble in their own right.

    >> . . . a researcher could find significant brain activity in just about anything, including a dead fish.

    A dead fish? Pshaw!
    Let 'em try something REALLY challenging... like attempting to find brain activity in ME!

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

    ReplyDelete

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