Calvin: "Well, Dad, your polls are real high this week".
.
Dad: "I'm glad to hear that".
.
Calvin: "Yep,
those polled think you're doing a fine job as Dad".
.
Calvin: "In
fact, with a little push today, your political stock could reach a record
high".
.
Dad: "Nice
try. Go help your Mom with the dishes".
.
Calvin: "Ooh
Dad! Suicide! Ooh! Ooh!"
.
Well, as
a blogger, it appears I’ve never quite committed political suicide (despite my
best efforts). I’m sure I’ve ticked off a few people (like the Maroon Cartoon
who has been rating my recent blog bits “Lumpy Grits” but who doesn’t have the
courage to publicly debate me in the comment sections and prove me to be “un-Cap’n Crunch-like”).
.
No
matter, because it seems the majority of the readers of ‘Ferret-Faced Fascist Friends’ enjoy the blog.
.
I can no
longer recall on what date I activated the ‘Reader Satisfaction Poll’ on this
blog, but I know for sure that it was no less than two years ago. I do,
however, specifically remember why I decided to schedule the poll to expire on 12/21/12 at 11:59 PM . That was the last minute of the
Mayan Calendar End-Of-The-World prophecy. I figured there was no reason to let
the poll run beyond the time that the Earth would exist.
.
Anyway,
below is the final results of the poll:
.
Poll closed: 12/21/2012 at 11:59 PM .
Votes: 30
.
READER SATISFACTION POLL: DID
YOU ENJOY THIS BLOG?
.
Sure! Who wouldn't?
Sure! Who wouldn't?
17 votes (56%)
.
No! Stephen T. McCarthy should take a long walk on a short plank
over a vat filled with angry junkyard dogs, riled Okefenokee 'gators, and
irritable PMS-suffering women!
7 votes (23%)
.
The voices in my head are giving me the Silent Treatment, so I’m not
sure.
6 votes (20%)
.
[I
suggest we confiscate the guns from those six voters before doctors write them prescriptions
for Effexor, Luvox, Lithium, Thorazine,
Prozac and Ritalin. Just a crazy thought I had.]
.
As you
can see, an astounding 56% majority of the voters enjoyed this blog. (If you
believe in God, pray for them. If you’re an atheist, start believing in God,
and then pray for them!)
.
The
poll’s reference to “riled Okefenokee 'gators” was
not just a croc(k) o’ crap. In fact, I was once lost in the Okefenokee Swamp with my buddy Eric, and as night
fell, alligators began to converge on us
for the kill.
.
The ‘Okefenokee Swamp W/ Alligators’ story can be found
here: GOBLINS, ‘GATORS, AND THINGS THAT GO “WHO?” IN THE NIGHT
.
I like
you for liking this blog. Now go kill Osama for your Mama and tell the
Americonned people that a female-led Navy Seal team did the deed. (They’ll
believe that. They’ll believe anything!)
.
Regarding
the title’s claim that a “majority of people enjoy sex” – that was merely an
assumption on my part. I have no hard data to support that claim, but it
probably wouldn’t be hard to come by.
.
~ Stephen T. McCarthy
.
YE OLDE
COMMENT POLICY: All comments, pro and con, are welcome. However, ad hominem
attacks and disrespectful epithets will not be tolerated (read:
"posted"). After all, this isn’t Amazon.com,
so I don’t have to put up with that kind of bovine excrement.
.
Stephen-
ReplyDeleteYou need to make an allowance for the "official" story being that a woman led the Seal team...
They'd already cast Jessica Chastain for the movie, so the military and White House went along.
LC
Oh, well, if the movie had already been cast... sure.
ReplyDeleteCome to think of it, Hollywood stories often seem more plausible than do Uncle Sam's "official" stories about... nearly everything.
~ D-FensDogg
'Loyal American Underground'
Love Calvin and Hobbes.
ReplyDeleteI missed out on the poll since I didn't discover your blog until very recently. However, I like it.
Sex is a variable. With the right guy it is awesome. With the wrong one, it is excruciating. As in terrible. I have reached my limit with POTUS and all people who do POTUS-speak. Sex with the wrong guy is just.like.that. Nails on a chalkboard. Just stop already. I really can't stand one more second of hearing you, seeing you, even the thought of you. I think you get the idea.
ROBIN ~
ReplyDeleteLike, thanks for liking what I'd like you to like.
>> . . . Sex... With the right guy... is awesome.
I have to disagree with you there. There is no such thing as "the right guy" when it comes to sex.
Then again, my personal "confident heterosexual" viewpoint may have colored my opinion somewhat.
Thanks for reading and commenting.
~ D-FensDogg
'Loyal American Underground'
Good news... the blog bit title should bring in 400% more internet traffic.
ReplyDeleteSigToo
MASTER SIG II ~
ReplyDeleteHa! (You read me like a book, Bro.) That is PRECISELY why I put that 3-letter word in the title. It's there to serve no other purpose. (And, no, I'm not referring to the word "and".)
~ D-FensDogg
'Loyal American Underground'
I definitely enjoy your blog, Stephen (although I missed the poll--been kind of delinquent on blogging et al), even though I have no clue whether you're serious or tongue-in-cheek. At face value, I disagree with 99.9% of your posts--but isn't that what makes them worth reading? You incense me, and I do my best thinking incensed :D
ReplyDeleteRe sex, I think the majority of people enjoy the *idea* of sex. Whether the majority of people have an actual satisfying sex life is a different matter :)
GUILIE ~
ReplyDelete>> . . . I have no clue whether you're serious or tongue-in-cheek.
Yeah, me neither.
>> . . . At face value, I disagree with 99.9% of your posts
I appreciate hearing how consistent my viewpoints are.
I will give you some credit for reading a blog you disagree with all but .10% of the time. (Most people in that situation would just delete my blog from those they 'Follow'.)
~ D-FensDogg
'Loyal American Underground'
I'm a little confused, not surprised are you? I thought the only poll was that one there at the end, you know the Cap'n Crunch or Lumpy Grits check the box deal. I never saw no other poll. I think. No matter. What I really want to hear about is 'The Blistering Bicker Brothers Tour'. Does it involve matching shirts? Just thinking about the possibilities has me rolling on the floor.
ReplyDeleteFARAWAYEYES ~
ReplyDeleteYeah, the poll I'm referring to (which is still visible) was (is) at the very bottom of the home page of this blog.
For a long time the poll was more noticeable, but then I added those paintings above it which pretty much hid it from view. When I added the paintings, I should have moved the poll up above them but... I didn't.
>> . . . 'The Blistering Bicker Brothers Tour'. Does it involve matching shirts?
Sounds like you've been reading some of my old STUFFS' stuffs.
And, no, thankfully it did NOT involve matching T-shirts. Once was enough. (Can you imagine if we'd died that day and our bodies were discovered in those matching shirts? I would have died of embarrassment... if I wasn't already dead.)
~ D-FensDogg
'Loyal American Underground'
I'm sure you wouldn't have any trouble coming up with hard data and statistics to prove whatever you want to prove. Are you familiar with the IgNobel prizes? One of the last batch went to a neuroscientist who essentially said that if using sophisticated machinery and certain statistical analyses, a researcher could find significant brain activity in just about anything, including a dead fish. You just have to know how to massage the data. (The doctors I used to work with were particularly skillful at doing that.)
ReplyDeleteSUSAN ~
ReplyDeleteNope, I don't think I'd heard of the IgNoble Prize before. However, I believe some of the real Nobel Prizes have been pretty ignoble in their own right.
>> . . . a researcher could find significant brain activity in just about anything, including a dead fish.
A dead fish? Pshaw!
Let 'em try something REALLY challenging... like attempting to find brain activity in ME!
~ D-FensDogg
'Loyal American Underground'