Saturday, March 11, 2017

HOW I WOULD MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN (Or, WHY TRUMP IS ALL WRONG FOR THIS JOB)

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The commies are still upset about President Donald Trump having been elected president by We The Non-Fake People. They should just STFU. Because but for the grace of God, I might be POTUS. And if they think they hate Trump, they would absolutely, positively, 100% despise me as president... for a few days, anyway.

For, you see, I think Donald Trump is taking WAY TOO LONG to Make America Great Again. Trump is just too namby-pamby and sentimental for this job. But I guess we're stuck with him since We The Real People elected him.

If I were your president, here's what I would do:

On the First Day, right after my inauguration, I would nuke Northern California right off the map! G'bye, 'Crisco and Oakland. G'bye, Santa Cruz and San Jose (I didn't even want to know the way!). 'Bye, Berkeley. In a matter of minutes, the U.S.A. would be improved by 25%.
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Then I would do nothing for 24 hours. This would give the decent, God and America-loving people -- those who were smart enough to figure out what was coming next -- enough time to pack their dogs, cats and goldfish, lock their teenagers in the basement, and get the phuq out.

On Day Three, I would nuke Washington D.C., New York City, and Chicago off the map. (And perhaps Massachusetts too, depending upon how severe my hangover was that day.)

Then, after just three days in office -- having made America great again -- I would resign from the Presidency, and retire from public service.

~ Stephen T. McCarthy
DogGtor of Alcohology &
King of Inebriation Nation
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Check out my new blog @
(Link:] Stephen T. McCarthy Reviews...
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14 comments:

  1. I kind of agree with your tactic with Northern California, however I think I'd take a different approach. I'd clandestinely pay North Korea to nuke 'em and that would give those wackos a bit of foreign aid in return for doing our dirty work.

    Then while the North Koreans were partying and gloating, I'd sneak 11 million Mexican illegals into their country to take care of the agricultural stuff so they could feed the starving people and then they could all fight with each other. Well, unless they all allied and came to conquer us, but then that would probably be the same as what is happening anyway.

    But if you were president under the terms you described, it would certainly make things interesting. I might even subscribe to the newspaper again since all those nukes would probably play havoc with broadcast news.

    Arlee Bird
    Tossing It Out

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    1. LEE, there is some merit to your outline. However, why not sneak all 66 million of our illegal Mexicans into North Korea? Why only go "up to eleven"?

      I probably wouldn't adopt the clandestine deal with the North Koreans ONLY BECAUSE I would want the credit for having eliminated Northern California.

      But another thing I would do -- which I didn't mention in the post for the sake of brevity -- is to form SAGATs. I wouldn't want to nuke Southern California because I have too many friends and family members there. But my SAGATs would go a long way in improving both SoCal and the country at large.

      SAGATs?
      Oh, it stands for "Screen Actors Guild Assassination Teams". They would scour the current membership rolls of the Screen Actors Guild and pay those members a visit until... there ain't no Screen Actors Guild no more.

      ~ D-FensDogG
      Check out my new blog @
      (Link:] Stephen T. McCarthy Reviews...

      Delete
    2. Yeah, I'd rather you spare Southern California. At least until I'm able to get out of here. However if there is no hope of me getting out of here then end my misery with a nuke. It might be cool to watch until my eyes melted and my body turned to ash leaving only a shadow on the pavement.

      Arlee Bird
      Tossing It Out


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    3. I can think of many far worse ways to go than by a nuclear explosion. One would probably have just enough time to think "Ooh! Best Fourth of July fireworks show EVER!" before the body became a fine, red mist wafting through the air.

      If I could think of a more painful but equally quick way to eliminate the aforementioned cities and areas, THAT would be my method of choice. But it seems I'd be forced to give America's traitors the easy way out.

      ~ D-FensDogG
      'Loyal American Underground'

      Delete
  2. Al Bondigas here. Then watch how fast these commie, liberal, atheist pieces of shiite become religious.

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    1. Yeah, they could spin on a dime the moment they didn't feel safe anymore.

      The zeal for their cause goes only as far as their superior numbers. As soon as it turned dicey, they'd make like outgunned cops and disappear.

      ~ D-FensDogG
      Check out my new blog @
      (Link:] Stephen T. McCarthy Reviews...

      Delete
  3. Sixgun McItchyfingerMarch 13, 2017 at 11:43 AM

    Wow, you guys have had enough and you aren't gonna take it any more!!

    I suggest going to the movie "John Wick 2." It is a cathartic experience.

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    1. We're mad as hell, McItchyfinger! Mad as hell, I tell ya!

      I've already got William Foster and Paul Kersey to keep me warm.

      ~ D-FensDogG
      Check out my new blog @
      (Link:] Stephen T. McCarthy Reviews...

      POSTSCRIPT:
      Were your ears burning on Saturday night? Nappy and I had some nice things to say about you while texting.

      Delete
  4. No, I had no idea! There is a first time for everything. You should email me with whatever nice stuff was said. Might perk me up a bit.

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  5. I followed the link from your review site, Stephen. Sounds like your presidency would be short and not so sweet. ☺ Wasn't 'Ferret Face' Frank Burns' nickname on MASH?

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    1. DEBBIE ~
      Indeed my presidency would be short, but I think I'd be remembered as the greatest president in American history -- the one who saved the country.

      Ha! Yep, that was Frank Burns' nickname. The funniest thing is that I didn't even realize that until a year or so after that woman applied it to me and my friends.

      Remember I said that I was never a MASH fan despite my work on the show. And since the Frank Burns character was gone before I arrived, I wasn't aware of the nickname until I accidentally stumbled on it later.

      In fact, I think it may have been learning that "ferret-face" was associated with F.B. that prompted me to adopt that as this blog's name. Originally, this blog was titled 'Xtremely Un-PC And Unrepentant'.

      ~ D-FensDogG
      'Loyal American Underground'

      Delete
  6. I forgot you weren't with MASH until later. My father refused to watch the show. He would always leave the room when we had it on. The reason? He had been a platoon commander on the front lines during the Korean War. Although not physical injured, his hair turned white and he picked up a bad case of malaria as well as PTSD.

    Unrepentant is the only way to go! ☺

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    1. Hmmm.... Well, I can understand his feelings about that, DEBBIE.

      I'll tell ya, nobody is any more anti-war than I am. Not even Hawkeye, B.J., or any other fictional character at the 4077.

      So, while I concur with their anti-Korean War positions (WWII was the last Constitutional war the USA engaged in), there was a lot of liberal ideology promoted on MASH that I did not agree with.

      I would say that was the single biggest reason I was not a MASH fan. I felt there was a lot of propaganda mixed into the scripts. However, like I said, the anti-war sentiments I fully endorsed.

      Sadly, most wars are fought not for protection of liberty, but to enrich International Bankers. As the book title says, 'WAR IS A RACKET'.

      ~ D-FensDogG
      'Loyal American Underground'

      Delete

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