Sunday, September 7, 2008


[From the STMcC Archive: 2007, January 14th]

PRODUCT: Carolina 12” Steel-Toed Engineer Boots (Made in U.S.A.)


but when you plop these bad boy boots onto the coffee table, crack open your tenth Budweiser, and bellow for your little woman in the next room to keep the chips and dip coming, your Sunday NFL buddies – including that Chicago Bears fan to your right – will never suspect that this applies to you as well.

You know, throughout history, all the coolest people wore boots. Pirates wore them. So did cowboys, miners, and World War I soldiers (man, them doughboys was tough!) Nowadays, motorcycle gangs wear them. John Wayne wore boots. So did Gary Cooper, Marlon Brando, and Nancy Sinatra. In fact, some people have been so enamored of boots that they named themselves after them. A few examples are: the original “Nature Boy”, Gypsy Boots; saxmaster, Boots Randolph; and funkmeister, Bootsy Collins. Yeah, when you’re in boots, you’re in good company. But ballerinas NEVER wear boots, and that’s exactly why you should!

These CAROLINA 12” engineer boots come in sturdy black leather (black, it’s the ultimate antiballerina color), and they contain an internal steel-toed covering which means that you’ll never again lose a game of Kick-The-Can to those neighborhood kids; and next Earth Day, when you kick that Greenpeacenik living next door to you in the can, he’ll really get your point. Maybe the best part about these Carolina boots is that they are made in America. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find footwear made in this country? I once wore out three pairs of foreign shoes trying to find one pair of shoes made in the U.S.A.

I’ve been wearing boots for most of my adult life, but I’ll admit that when I switched to these Carolinas, the first couple of days, my dogs were really barking. But after I gave them a day off for loud behavior, they’ve been quiet ever since. Now, until the dye dies, you may find that the tops of these boots leave a black ring around your calves. You can either wear higher socks, or just imagine that the rings are tribal bands tattooed around your lower legs. (Do like I did, and pretend that you’re tattooed and therefore in with “the in crowd” for the first time since “The Summer Of Love.”)

I actually prefer the cowboy boot style to the engineer design, but until I can locate a good American-made cowboy boot with a durable, oil resistant polyurethane outsole, I’ll stick with these cool Carolinas. I was so happy to find these boots and I dig them so much that I feel like breaking out into a pirouette. . . .

“Hey, watch it, fella! Can’t ya see I’m dancin’ here?”

~ Stephen T. McCarthy

No comments:

Post a Comment

All submitted comments that do not transgress "Ye Olde Comment Policy" will be posted and responded to as soon as possible. Thanks for taking the time to comment.