THE TRUTH ABOUT TRUTH:

All truth passes through three stages.
First, it is ridiculed.
Second, it is violently opposed.
Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.



Monday, September 6, 2010

STMcC@McCarthyCountry.Pix [Part 4 Of 4]

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FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 3:
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Although the weather dudes had predicted partly cloudy skies and periods of sunshine for Friday, they got it wrong . . . again . . . naturally. It was dark and cloudy all day with spitting and sneezing skies. (A few things I’ve found that are universal all across the country regardless of town population or location: 1. The weathermen get it wrong. 2. All radio DJs sound exactly the same. 3. Tattooed women driving pickup trucks are yakkin’ on cell phones from behind the wheel. These things are universal and, unfortunately, never absent. Do I hate America? Let me count the ways: One… Two… Thuh-reee.)
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The winds were fierce on Friday, so I spent the morning going to a couple of craft and hobby shops, looking for leather strips to make a wind strap for my Stetson. I found the leather but couldn’t find an appropriate bead with which to fasten the straps, so I just knotted the thin leather strips under my chin and went to visit Joe’s gravesite one last time.
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There I drank one last toast in my silver cup - an airline bottle of Grand Marnier (or “Gramar”, as I call it) - to “Brother” Joe McC, and I sought to photograph my cowboy hat and silver cup on top of his headstone. But the wind caught my Stetson immediately and blew it toward the bluff overlooking the Fox River behind Joe’s grave. I ran to retrieve my hat, figuring I would have to climb down the steep embankment to the river below, but to my surprise, both the Stetson and its wind strap had caught onto an old metal stake protruding from the earth which suspended my cowboy hat right at that point where the land falls away to the river below. (Good ol’ Joe, he still had me covered!)
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After this second and final visit to Joe’s gravesite, I parked my car at Super 8 and walked to downtown Appleton, thinking I might really tie one on and be incapable of driving back to the motel. (As it turned out, I really didn’t drink very much after all.) The winds were crazy mad, but I heel-toed it to downtown anyhow – a forty-five minute walk each way; a walk that would have killed a younger man.
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Along the way, I stopped in at The Glass Onion Bead Company and purchased a brown stone bead I could use as a “fastener” on my Stetson’s wind strap. While I was in the store, an employee presented me with a certificate (suitable for framing), declaring me to be the store’s first male heterosexual customer. Then they took my picture (which I imagine is already hanging on their Wall Of Fame), and I was again heel-toeing it on the road to downtown Appleton.
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Once downtown, I went into Senor Tequila’s and ordered a margarita (the pale green variety) and a cheese quesadilla. Although I was the restaurant’s only customer, it seemed to take forever for the cheese quesadilla to be delivered to my table. At first I figured someone was probably at nearby Lamer’s Dairy, milking a cow to begin the cheese-making process. Still later, with no quesadilla in sight, I began to suspect I was being held hostage. I had no cell phone on which to dial 911. Finally the quesadilla arrived and I took the opportunity to ask my waiter for the check. (After all, it was already 4 PM on Friday and I had a plane to catch at noon the next day, and I didn’t want to run the risk of missing my flight.)
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The margarita and the quesadilla were good, and the waiter was pleasant, but I overheard him mention to another customer (who had entered sometime between hour two and three of “The Great Quesadilla Wait”) that he was originally from West Hollywood, and I believed him. If you don’t know what that means, that means that my waiter wasn’t ever going to get a certificate (suitable for framing) from The Glass Onion Bead Company.
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I dinked around town a bit and then stopped in at the Déjà Vu Martini Lounge for my traditional “Vacation Martini” (I hadn’t had one yet on this trip).
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The interior of the Déjà Vu Martini Lounge is every bit as cool as its exterior (even cooler, in fact), but I didn’t take a picture inside because I didn’t want my flash bulb to interfere with the fabulous atmosphere of the place. My waitress, a very nice but blonde and thoroughly tattooed wannabe Hollywood makeup artist, asked me what I was doing in Appleton. Remembering the words of Jesus warning us not to cast our McCarthys before blondes, I simply told her that I had wanted to get out of the heat of Airheadzona and so I flew as far East as I could afford to go. I told her that I would have gone to New York City but I ran out of money. She bought that. And I bought the martini.
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Then I walked the forty-five minutes back to Super 8, against the wild, wild wind. And although I kept my hat on and my head down, I still wound up with a whole face like W.C. Fields’ nose.
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Back in Grand Chute, I took a picture of a roadside sign that had tickled me for four straight days. In order to get just the shot I wanted, I was forced to hack my way through thick underbrush and thick overbrush and to fight off
eight-legged bugs as big as your ass! If you readers had any idea of the lengths I go to in order to get just the right photos for my blogs, you’d appreciate me more! But in the end, I got my picture:
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If you ask me, any parents who would name their son Hupy ought to be sued for “personal injury.”
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Alright, it was evening now, but I truly needed to know: had it only been The Van de Kamp’s/Weinhard’s Effect, or were those chile rellenos at Toros really as good as they’d seemed the night before?
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So, I went back and ordered them again. Same pink margarita (the waiter says it’s a secret Toros recipe, but I think I detected pink grapefruit juice in it and perhaps a splash of orange juice). And the same chile rellenos. Although I wasn’t nearly as hungry as I had been the night before, they were still damn fine chiles! OK, I was convinced: Toros knows what it’s doing when it comes to chile rellenos and that’s no bull!
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Well, the trip was over – dang it! - and it was back to the three-digit dog days of Airheadzona Summer for me the following day.
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The next morning, on my way to Appleton Airport, I would stop at the Barnes & Noble in Grand Chute and buy a second copy (now available in paperback) of ‘BLACKLISTED BY HISTORY’ by M. Stanton Evans, so as to have one copy I can loan out to friends and acquaintances who wish to learn the truth about the wrongly maligned Senator from Wisconsin.
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I got to thinking about how I, having now paid my respects to Joe McCarthy at his gravesite, was as good as Ann Coulter. That chick ain’t got nuttin’ on me! Well, you know what I mean.
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I packed up my shi— “stuffs” that night, watched a little TV and caught the phony weather forecast for tomorrow from those misguided meteorologists. They were calling for sunshine all day tomorrow. Yeah, I’ll just bet!
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Outside it was raining Hupys and Abrahams as I fell asleep nestled all snug in my bed, while visions of Sheboygan shakes danced in my head.
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~ Stephen T. McCarthy
D-FensDogg of the ‘Loyal American Underground’
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YE OLDE COMMENT POLICY: All comments, pro and con, are welcome. However, ad hominem attacks and disrespectful epithets will not be tolerated (read: "posted"). After all, this isn’t Amazon.com, so I don’t have to put up with that kind of bovine excrement.
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11 comments:

  1. Welcome back, Stephen.

    I very much enjoyed the Blog bit(s) and am happy you had such a good time. I missed you, Pal.

    ~The Aard~

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hey, thank you, FLYIN' AARD!
    (I was wondering who had given my new blog bit the "Cap'n Crunch" grade.)

    The trip was worth every penny. It was something I knew I needed to do someday and it seemed as if "this was the year for McCarthy".

    Good time spent alone recharging my battery.

    Yak Soon, Pal...

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

    ReplyDelete
  3. Stephen-

    Sadly, the Glass Onion Bead Company did not give you the certificate declaring you to be the store’s first male CONFIDENT heterosexual customer.

    LC

    ReplyDelete
  4. I can tell you the problem at Senor Tequila's-- You went at siesta time--the kitchen staff was napping.

    That Deja Vu place really looks old school. And then you're talking about chile rellenos again and this time with pictures--now I am craving a chile relleno.

    That was a grand tale and I enjoyed it thoroughly. Makes me want to go.

    Lee
    Tossing It Out

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hey, that was a fun and interesting read! Yes, I read all four installments. :O)

    Loved the pictures and the descriptions of your culinary adventures. I smiled quite a bit as I read.

    Glad you had fun, friend.

    ReplyDelete
  6. DISCDUDE ~
    >>Sadly, the Glass Onion Bead Company did not give you the certificate declaring you to be the store’s first male CONFIDENT heterosexual customer.

    True. And not only that, but the little smiley face stickers all over the certificate that they did give me really unnerves me. (I might not frame it after all.)



    LEE ~
    >>I can tell you the problem at Senor Tequila's-- You went at siesta time--the kitchen staff was napping.

    Hey, man, I think that might have been a racist remark. But I'm not totally sure anymore. Political Correctness has me confused. I felt I had a pretty good handle on it in the 1970s, but I wasn't able to keep up with the changing times. When "Negro" became "Black" I was still up-to-date, but after that, I fell behind. I'm not sure where we're at today.

    Oh, The Deja Vu Martini Lounge was SOOO old skool cool! It was like "Rat Pack" cool - I loved it!

    And the chile rellenos. YEAH! That picture even makes me crave 'em and I'M the guy who took the picture and then ate 'em!

    Taking the picture was almost an afterthought. I had just cut into one of the chiles when the idea of photographing them came to me, and that's the reason the fork and knife are sticking out from opposite sides of the plate. I just set them down the moment the thought came to me and snapped the picture.

    Glad I took that shot - it's so colorful. But, boy, it does make me crave them all over again.

    I'm glad you enjoyed the "grand tale" so much, McBuddy. I enjoyed living it!



    LISA ~
    Thanks for the kind words, my friend. It was actually kind of fun to write - like getting an opportunity to go on the vacation for a second time.

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

    ReplyDelete
  7. Ever malleable me has allowed you to influence me again. I could not resist my craving for chile rellenos any longer and yesterday had to have them for lunch.

    First I went to a Mexican supermarket where I was sure they would have them, but they only had fried chicken.

    Next I went across the street to El Atacador on Whittier Blvd. in Pico Rivera. This is a little carry out place with a drive thru window. I used to go there sometimes early in the morning for breakfast burritos to take to work, so I knew they had some good food.

    And yes! There on the menu was a chile relleno plate for $9.95. With some effort I negotiated with the lady at the order window to get the chile rellenos ala carte since I am not a big fan of rice and beans. So I got two chile rellenos and one cheese enchilada for a bargain price of $6.33 after the 10% city tax.

    I was very very pleased. Upon returning home I found that the order also includes chips and salsa and two orders of sliced jalapenos and carrots in escabeche.
    I don't know how my chile rellenos compared to yours, but they were much like you described with a very light breading, large beautiful green chiles, and a very generous amount of cheese filling all with the right amount of savory salsa topping. The cheese enchilada was equally fine with a tortilla that was slightly firm and not all mushy soggy like they so often are, filled with the same white cheese as the rellenos and topped with red sauce and grated queso blanco. A great meal with no rice and bean filler. After eating this at noon I was sated and ate very little the rest of the day. And now I've made myself hungry again. Three more hours to lunch.

    Thanks for the inspiration.

    Lee
    Tossing It Out

    ReplyDelete
  8. r-LEE-b ~
    >>And now I've made myself hungry again. Three more hours to lunch.

    Ha! Yeah, well you're getting to me now, too. I rarely eat this early, but...

    After replying to your comments yesterday and again seeing that chile relleno picture I'd posted, I had Mexican food on the brain. Wound up settling for Taco Bell instead, due to time and money constraints. But now I'm thinkin' rellenos again. Dang you! What I did to you, you're now doing to ME!

    But all this got me to thinking about one of my lost favorites: RAMONA'S CHILE RELLENO BURRITOS. I used to eat these regularly when I lived in L.A. They came frozen and you could find them in various places like in 7/11 and other little convenience markets. They were microwaveable and always a shade on the oily side but, oh, so good! Loved 'em! I practically lived on those things!

    I forget exactly where the Ramona's plant was located, but it was definitely in one of the little communities in the greater Los Angeles area. It could have even been in Pico Rivera.

    When I moved to Prescott, Airheadzona, I found Ramona's Chile Relleno Burritos were carried in a liquor store near my apartment, and I bought them regularly. But in the 15 years I've been here in Phoenix, I have never encountered them anywhere. And I MISS 'EM!

    I need to Google them and see if they still exist and if so, see if I can get some store out here to carry them. I alone would make it profitable for them.

    Ever see Ramona's Chile Relleno Burritos out there, Lee?

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

    ReplyDelete
  9. Excellent blog, Bro -

    The section about the tardy quesadilla had me laughing out loud.

    Glad you had a great time and got to recharge the batts.

    The only question unanswered for me is: did the Toros bartender also have a heterosexual certificate (suitable for framing) from the bead company? I suspect NOT!

    Paulboy

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  10. Have not seen the Ramona's burritos but now I'll be looking for them. I had to go to Ralphs to pick up water for my wife and while I was there I looked. They didn't have Ramona's, but I got some Tina's, which are certainly nothing to get excited about. In fact if you never hear from me after today you'll know not to buy Tina's frozen burritos.

    Lee
    Tossing It Out

    ReplyDelete
  11. Sheboyganboy ~
    Thanks, Brother! Glad ya enjoyed it. Next time I go back, I'll invite you and Bob and Ray to accompany me, and we'll get together with Lippschitz (sp?) of The Register and we'll make a real Sheboygan shindig out of it!



    r-LEE-b ~
    Ha!
    Yeah, you're right, Tina's burritos ain't nuttin' to yak 'bout. We got 'em out here, too, and I'd have to be really hungry, really broke, and really in a hurry to buy one.

    I Googled Ramona's and found that they're located in Gardena. (I remembered that as being correct the second I saw it.) It seems they have an actual brick and mortar fast food joint where you can buy their stuffs fresh. But I always got them frozen, and found them not in grocery stores but in 7-Elevens and similar little convenience markets.

    I'll have to check around here and see if someone will import them for me. They make several varieties, but my favorite (and Nappy's favorite also) was always the Chile Relleno burrito. Mmmm... oily, good!

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Sheboyganite'

    ReplyDelete

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