BUCK DHARMA AND XIEZILLA

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THANKSGIVING DAY, 2010 :
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Stephen T. McCarthy [to his brother, Napoleon]: “Blue Oyster Cult’s Buck Dharma was the most underrated Hard Rock guitarist of the ‘Classic Rock’ era.”
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Greg [a know-it-all 19-year-old]: “Who did you say was the most underrated Hard Rock guitarist of the ‘Classic Rock’ era?”
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Stephen: “Buck Dharma from Blue Oyster Cult.”
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Greg: “No he wasn’t.”
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Stephen [to Brother Nappy]: “There! You see what I mean?”
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I have no intention of filling in the details here. All you really need to know is that a 12-year-old boy “straight off the slow boat from China” has come to live temporarily with Brother Nappy and me, and he don’t speak no good English hardly at all.
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His name is Xie (pronounced: “Shay”) and he is – to put it mildly – LARGE for his age. We took him recently to the Northwest Chinese Baptist Church where one of the “church ladies” (who has a 10-year-old daughter of her own) was startled to learn that Xie was only 12.
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“Oh, my Northwest Chinese Baptist Church God!” she exclaimed. “I figured he was sixteen.”
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Yeah, Xie is so BIG that I have nicknamed him Xiezilla [pronounced: “Shayzilla”]. Sure, I know that Godzilla was Japanese, not Chinese. But all those Asian people look the same to me. (Just kidding. Actually, I’m not too bad at differentiating Asian people based solely on their facial features.)
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Now I’m gonna tell ya one of the funniest things ever (I’m serious!) It happened a few weeks ago, back when the only things Xie could say in English were “A little” and “Maybe later anything”.
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Brother Nappy and I were out in the front yard with Xie, trying to teach him basic baseball. Never in his entire life had Xie tried to hit a baseball. But despite having a stance and swing that was fundamentally flawed, he was whacking the crap out of the Wiffle Ball that we were lobbing toward him. We we’re pretty impressed that he was able to hit it as hard as he was with only an “arm swing”.

So after awhile, an ice cream truck comes down the street playing its music, and we took a break from baseball practice and bought ice cream from the truck. (Can you even imagine a more “American” scene than this? Baseball and an ice cream truck!)
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We’re standing around eating our Chocolate-Banana ‘Bomb Pops’ in the front yard when Xie accidentally drops his and it hits the dirt. Xie says, “Shit!” Nappy, wide-eyed, asks him, “What did you just say?” and Xie repeats it, “Shit”. Then I ask him, “Did you say that word in China?” and Xie answers, “No.” So I ask him, “Where did you learn that word?” And Xie points at Nappy and me and says, "You say".
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Nappy and I fell apart laughing, realizing of course that little pitchers (even foreign little pitchers) really do have big ears and we need to clean up our language pronto.
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[Xiezilla posing with Venice Beach icon Harry Perry.]
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[Xiezilla continuing to pose with Venice Beach icon Harry Perry.]
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Xiezilla’s theme song was recorded by Blue Oyster Cult in 1977 and it features Buck Dharma, the most underrated Hard Rock guitarist of the ‘Classic Rock’ era:
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He picks up a bus and he throws it back down

As he wades through the buildings 
Toward the center of town . . .

GODZILLA!
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Blue Oyster Cult - Godzilla
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ln8-Y-fIbqM&feature=related
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In 1976, Blue Oyster Cult turned away from their more ‘Heavy Metal’ past and forged a new, more melodic ‘Hard Rock’ career, beginning with their album ‘Agents Of Fortune’ which featured their biggest hit ‘(Don’t Fear) The Reaper’.
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The following year BOC released ‘Spectres’ which showcased perhaps the best vocal harmonies ever in a Hard Rock setting, and also displayed Buck Dharma’s creative evolution into a guitarist thinking of his instrument as something to provide sonic textures rather than merely mindless, blazing solos intended to excite pimple-faced, White male teenagers.

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‘Xiezilla’ ‘Godzilla’ is undoubtedly the most well-known song from the ‘Spectres’ album, having become an FM radio staple, however, I think some of Dharma’s best work was found in the songs ‘Searching For Celine’ and ‘Nosferatu’ (another monster tune). In the latter, beginning at about the 4:08 mark, Buck plays a 40-second lead that, in keeping with the 'Horror' theme, is simply unadulterated electric wickedness.

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[Incidentally, 'Nosferatu' is a silent 1922 German vampire movie starring Max Schreck. It is definitely worth watching once. ...I've watched it twice.]

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Nosferatu - Blue Öyster Cult (HQ)
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1A8wj9XiEho
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In 1979, BOC released the album ‘Mirrors’ which was a disappointment sales-wise but, in my opinion, was their second best studio album after ‘Spectres’. In the song ‘I Am The Storm’, Buck Dharma proved that he could still toss off rip-roaring liquid steel solos that blew away most of the competition (Tommy Shaw of Styx, Tom Scholz of Boston, Joe Perry of Aerosmith, et al.)
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Listen for the lyrics . . .
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You'll hear my echoes of anger

You'll fear the roar of my thunder
Nightmares, confusion will come true
Aces and eights are the fate that you drew
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The American West history buffs already know that a pair of aces and a pair of eights is supposedly the poker hand Wild Bill Hickok was holding when he was shot from behind and killed.
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Blue Oyster Cult I Am The Storm
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B5Ugbq-2kig

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Yesterday I put a CD into my player and cranked up BOC’s most famous tune, ‘(Don’t Fear) The Reaper’, to see what Xie would think of it. I guess you could say he liked it if the sight of a 12-year-old Godzilla-sized Chinese boy who don’t speak no good English hardly at all launching into an air-guitar solo means anything.
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After the song was over I asked Xiezilla, “Good, bad, or 
so-so?”
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He said, “Ta-shee-a-kay-don-ee-shung”, which apparently is Chinese for “It needs more cowbell”.
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Don't fear the reaper (with lyrics and pics)
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uhRjyLLUdhw
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Of course Nappy and I both realize that kids will always find something to pick on other kids about, and ‘How-To-Bully’ seems to be the one lesson most kids learn well in the public schools today. Xie is too big for his age, meaning that some little dick will probably try to make a name for himself by bullying Xie in the same way that little Ritchard (“Little Dick”) Gale tried to kick Casey Heynes as if Casey was a dog he owned:
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Bullying victim speaks out - Casey Heynes - Australia
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&v=ziIfZx0XX5I&NR=1
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For this reason, Brother Napoleon (a bad motor-scooter himself) has already begun teaching Xiezilla how to use his claws fists, and that will spell “A-S-S-W-H-U-P-P-I-N” for the first Dick Gale who tries to bully Xie!
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He picks up a punk and he throws him back down

As he wades through the schoolyard 
Toward the center of town . . . 

XIEZILLA!
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~ Stephen T. McCarthy
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