‘CHOOSE YOUR OWN APOCALYPSE’ BLOGFEST

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‘CHOOSE YOUR OWN APOCALYPSE’ BLOGFEST

December 21st, 2012 – The Day The World Ended

by Stephen T. McCarthy and Al Coholabuse

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A couple of misconceptions need to be cleared up. First, many people believe that our world will end like this:
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Asteroid Impact (HD)

["The Great Gig In The Sky"]

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zvCUmeoHpw

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I have it on the most reliable authority in the universe that the scenario above is entirely incorrect.

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The prophecy for December 21st, 2012, which I am about to reveal to you, is secret knowledge that has previously been known (mostly) only to Initiates and Adepts of the innerest most circles of the innerest highestly evolved spiritual cults orders. 

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Many years ago, I was working with my Ouija board when my spirit guide came through with this revelation. My spirit guide is an ancient Native American ascended master named Chief Bald Eagle J. O’Toupee, and he’s the high priest of ‘The Order Of The White Light Wickiup Brotherhood Shebang’ (or, T.O.O.T.W.L.W.B.S. for short).

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Through the Ouija board, manipulated by the spirit of Chief Bald Eagle J. O’Toupee, I was told how our world will end later today. My spirit guide got the information from his own spirit guide - the Kenyan master, Harrison J. Bounel - who got it from Reverend Anne Puryear, who got it from Neale Donald Walsch, who got it from Elizabeth Clare Prophet, who got it from Saint Germain, who got it from Benjamin Creme, who got it from Alice Bailey, who got it from Annie Besant, who got it from Madame Blavatsky, who got it from Albert Pike, who got it from Nostradamus, who got it from Lord Akashic J. Records, who got it from a light-hearted camel, who got it from a merry old mammal, who got it from a barrel of monkeys, who got it from a pack of silly donkeys, who got it straight from the Cosmic Cat.

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A photo of the Cosmic Cat

In his natural habitat.

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The Cosmic Cat got this esoteric prophecy from 

a ‘Magic 8 Ball’ :

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Where the ‘Magic 8 Ball’ got this prophecy, only the Laughing Lion and the Grinning Gator knows... but it’s wholly trustworthy information!

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However, lest you mistakenly think this is all just a hand-me-down prophecy that hasn’t been verified by the scientific study of some of the grey-matterest brains known to mankind, you should be made aware of the following facts: Some scientists and researchers over many decades have also discovered this esoteric prophecy encoded in the ancient Mayan Calendar, the Egyptian ‘Book Of The Dead’, the Bhagavad Gita, and the holy Qur'an. Some nuts have even claimed to find it cloaked in a Bible Code, but I seriously doubt that!  It’s highly unlikely that a prophecy this accurate and this important could be found in The Bible, which, by now, everyone should know was a simple hoax meant to poke fun at the fools who believe in a ‘Santa Claus God’.

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So, what does the prophecy state? Well, that leads to a second misconception that I must misspell dispel: 

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In 1977, the Rock group ‘Kansas’ said that “all we are is dust in the wind”, but that’s not even within shouting distance of the truth. Ordinarily you can take what Rock Stars say as “gospel” because they are really hip and cool and know the gig. But in this rare case, ‘Kansas’ didn’t know what they was yakking about; it was just a load of yodeling carp ‘n’ floppin’ feathers!

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In fact, according to the ancient prophecy, all we are is fleas on a dog. Yep, that’s right! We are merely billions of fleas occupying a bald, scaly spot on the butt of a ginormous, mangey dog named General George Sterling Price - who is sleeping in a place called ‘Apocalypse Alley’.

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We have been living on the bald spot of this ginormous sleeping dog’s rump for about 4.5 billion years (that’s 31 billion, 500 million in ‘Dog Years’, also known as “a godzillian”). And everything would remain just fine and comfy if no one and nothing disturbed General George Sterling Price’s rest. We wouldn’t have to die later today if only “it” (whatever “it” is) would let the sleeping dog lie!

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Unfortunately, the prophecy states that later today - December 21st, 2012 - someone or something is going to awaken the sleeping dog. When that happens, the first thing the dog is going to do is yawn, then stand up, and then shake-shake-shake, shake-shake-shake, shake his booty. And when the dog does that, we fleas are going to fly off the bald spot on his butt, go spinning violently through the atmosphere, and then crash against a brick wall in ‘Apocalypse Alley’. The collision with the wall will kill us all, and put us out of our misery forevermore.

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True, it will end our physical existence when we “hit the wall”, but prior to the collision, while we fleas be flying, it’s going to be one exhilarating ‘E-Ticket Ride’; I suggest you just relax and enjoy it, for it’ll be a once-in-a-lifetime experience!

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The prophecy further states that just prior to this comprehensive, canine cleansing catastrophe, the favored, fortunate few of the spiritual hierarchy will find themselves ‘Raptured’, or ‘Plucked Up’, also known as ‘Intoxicated’. And as I type these words, I sip, sip, sip my fifth whiskey – making me one of the “favored, fortunate few”.

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I realize that a wee bit o’ this prophecy may seem a teensy-weensy tad far-fetched, but I actually have photographic evidence to prove it!

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One night, my master spirit guide, Chief Bald Eagle J. O’Toupee, appeared to me while I was engaged in a “guided visualization” technique, and he told me to go to the garage, find the big box my mother kept her photo album in, and locate the picture that showed her, pregnant with me, standing next to my Pop and in front of their old car.

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I found the photograph and as I was staring at it, Chief Bald Eagle J. O’Toupee mysteriously transformed it before my eyes into a picture of the ginormous dog General George Sterling Price (on whose mangey, spot-bald butt we all live) in ‘Apocalypse Alley’ sometime prior to taking his 31 billion, 500 million year nap. Here’s the picture:

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I have no idea who the other figures in that photo are; 

I assume they must be gods.

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Anyway, that’s the total truthful truth about the ancient prophecy concerning our world and how it’s all going to end for us here today. You may have just enough time left to say “I love you” to your loved ones and to kiss your mangey, bald butt ‘Goodbye’.

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~ Stephen T. McCarthy & Al Coholabuse

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NOTE:

To My Fellow & Fellowette Blogfest Participants...

Al and I have to work today, but we will be around to check out your Blogfest entries late tonight and/or tomorrow (if there is a ‘tomorrow’). 

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YE OLDE COMMENT POLICY: All comments, pro and con, are welcome. However, ad hominem attacks and disrespectful epithets will not be tolerated (read: "posted"). After all, this isn’t Amazon.com, so I don’t have to put up with that kind of bovine excrement.

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