THE TRUTH ABOUT TRUTH:

All truth passes through three stages.
First, it is ridiculed.
Second, it is violently opposed.
Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.



Tuesday, May 28, 2013

MY FAVORITE BEER... SUCKS?


In the comment section HERE, I was yakking with one of my Magnificent Seven, 'Brother Beer Boy Bryan', and having a good time doing it too. In fact, another one of The Seven (FarAwayEyes) told me that she really enjoyed reading the extensive conversation that 4-B and I engaged in THERE. (To me, comment sections like THAT are the best reasons for blogging!)
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As I wrote to 4-B in that comment section:

By no means are you preventing me from “putting up another blog post”. I have been trying to decide where to go next and just haven’t made up my mind...  I have planned (by mere coincidence) another blog bit about why I dislike police officers.

Also, one of my ‘New World Order’ conspiracy pieces about how and why the Republican party has deliberately refused to remove Barack Obama from office when, in fact, he could very easily be serving time in a federal prison right this very minute... if the Republican party desired that.

And then there’s these 1+3 Obama scandals I could write about: ‘Fast And Furious’; ‘
Benghazi’; ‘The I.R.S. Targeting Of Conservative Groups’; and ‘The Department Of Justice’s Snooping Into The Associated Press Phone Records’.


I have so much material right now that my head is spinning and I don’t even know which direction I should go in next. (‘I’m All Over The Map, Which Is My Oyster’, or something like that.)

Well, I’m still in doubt about where to go next. But I’m smart enough to know: When in doubt, yak about beer.

You already know how much I hate – HATE!Phoenix, Airheadzona. Up until recently, the only thing I liked about this city was the annual ‘Glendale Jazz And Blues Festival’, but after 29 years even that was cancelled in 2013 due to “budget cuts” (Bullsh#t!)
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Well, recently, my brother Napoleon and I discovered something else we like about Phoenix. I drove past this place every morning while working and the sign caught my eye:
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I mentioned THE MAIN INGREDIENT Ale House & Cafe to Nappy and he said he’d driven past it and noticed it too. So we got online and checked out their site, and we were so pleased to see so many unique beers and ales available on draft and bottled that we decided to try it out that Saturday.
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I ordered ‘The Main Ale’ and this...

Artichoke Heaven
......a warm dip with artichoke hearts, green chiles, & 3 cheeses served with La Tolteca tortilla chips

It was so good that we went back the next week and I ordered the ‘Artichoke Heaven’ again. The following week I sampled a couple more ales and this time I was more hungry and so I ordered this...

Griddled Cheese
......havarti, muenster, & cheddar, with local tomato, on sourdough

Without question that was the BEST grilled cheese sandwich I’d ever had. So now, to my great surprise, I found myself returning to THE MAIN INGREDIENT more for the food than the brew. The second time I had the ‘Griddled Cheese’ sandwich, I felt compelled to photograph it first:
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'THE MAIN INGREDIENT' BAR
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THE LITTLE TABLE WHERE MY BROTHER AND I USUALLY SIT
(We Don't Know That Woman With The Tiny Feet!)
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But this time I tried a new brew that had suddenly made an appearance on the menu: Lagunitas SUCKS (‘Brown Shugga’ Substitute Ale).

My papa’s real big. He did like he pleased. That’s why everybody worked on him. The last time I’ve seen my father he was blind in the cedars from drinking. And every time he put the bottle to his mouth, he don’t suck out of it. It SUCKS out of him until he’d shrunk so wrinkled and yellow even the dogs don’t know him.
~ Chief Bromdon
‘One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest’

I’d never heard of Lagunitas SUCKS (‘Brown Shugga’ Substitute Ale) before, but I was very familiar with the Lagunitas Brewing Company. In fact, Lagunitas (along with the Odell Brewing Company of Colorado) was already one of my two favorites overall.
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BROTHER NAPPY AND I BOTH LOVE THIS BREW
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NAPPY AND I GREW UP IN "OLD" DOGTOWN, CALIFORNIA
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I first discovered Lagunitas beer while on a weekend trip in Flagstaff with my Brother in 2007. It’s a somewhat humorous story that involves the Cleveland Indians baseball club and the history of Rock ‘N’ Roll. Maybe I’ll tell it someday... but not today.

Back to THE MAIN INGREDIENT...
Well, by about my 3rd or 4th sip of Lagunitas SUCKS, I was already thinking that it might be the best ale I’d ever had – and that’s really saying something, because I have sampled A LOT of different beers and ales. [Blind Beer Taste Tests (Or, Beer Battles: Who Hops To The Top?)]

‘SUCKS’ starts out with very pronounced citrus-like, grapefruit-y overtones but finishes with that bitter bomb of hops that “hopheads” love so much. I was pretty much hooked immediately (Alc. 7.85%; I.B.U. 63.21).
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THIS ALE DOESN'T "SUCK"
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I was curious whether or not other beer dudes thought ‘SUCKS’ super like I did, so I eventually looked it up on a couple of beer fanboy sites (I was not alone)...




The label on the bottle says a lot, but it doesn’t say it all:

E.K. Ross would have enjoyed our suffering in 2010 when we saw we couldn’t brew our ‘Brown Shugga’. But in that time of deepest despair, as is common to artists everywhere, broke, hungover, abandoned by the muse and prepared to take a job at Arby’s, we found in that darkness the spark of inspiration that would yield up this nearly sanctified recipe!

On a beer-staggered website I found the following extended explanation about how Lagunitas ‘SUCKS’ (‘Brown Shugga’ Substitute Ale) came into existence:

This sad holiday season we didn’t have the brewing capacity to make our favorite seasonal brew, the widely feared ‘Brown Shugga’ Ale.

You see we had a couple of really good years (thank you very much) and so heading into this season while we are awaiting the January delivery of a new brewhouse we are jammin’ along brewing 80 barrels of IPA and PILS and such every 3 hours.

A couple of months back we realized that since we can only brew a mere 60 barrels of ‘Shugga’ every 5 hours, that we were seriously screwed. For every case of ‘Shugga’ brewed, we’d short 3 cases of our favorite daily beers. It’s a drag.

This year, we brewed something that we think is also cool and brews more like our daily brews. The new brewhouse will help insure this kind of failure never happens again.

It’s a mess that we cannot brew our ‘Brown Shugga’ this year and we suck for not doing it. There is nothing cool about screwing this up this badly and we know it.

Maybe we can sue our own sorry selves. There is no joy in our hearts this holiday and the best we can hope for is a quick and merciful end. F*@& us. This totally blows. Whatever. We freaking munch moldy donkey butt and we just want it to be all over...

So this substitute beer is a ‘Cereal Medley’ of Barley, Rye, Wheat, and Oats…. Full of complexishness from the 4 grains, and weighing in at 7.85% abv, then joyously dry-hopped for that big aroma and resinous hop flavor.

Gotta love a brewing company that says “F*@& us” and tells the world they “SUCK” right on their beer label. Ha! That’s a company I can definitely forgive. Funnier still is that if you look up the opinions of WorldWideWeb beer fanatics you’ll find that generally they like ‘SUCKS’ better than ‘BROWN SHUGGA’ – the ale that ‘SUCKS’ was brewed to replace in a pinch.

I have since gone back to THE MAIN INGREDIENT several times and consumed ‘SUCKS’ several more times. If it’s not now my very favorite ale, I don’t know what is.

And with each visit to THE MAIN INGREDIENT, I try some new food item from the menu. Last Saturday, Nappy and I split these:

Veggie Quesadilla
......griddled red pepper & red onion with Oaxacan cheese, sour cream, house-made guacamole, & salsa on the side

Mindy’s Mac & Cheese
......baked to perfection, with loads of cheddar & mild green chiles

Both were excellent! Next Saturday, I intend to try this:

The Calvano
......sopressata, aged provolone, chopped artichoke hearts, & house-roasted red peppers on focaccia

Anyone know what “sopressata” is? (It doesn’t have eyes, does it? I’m a longtime vegetarian.)

OK, so maybe not everything in Phoenix...  sucks.

Lagunitas and they're ice cold, yes, she got 'em for sale.
Man, don't mess around ‘em Lagunitas now
'Cause they too black bad, if you mess around ‘em Lagunitas
They gonna upset your backbone, put your kidneys to sleep
They due to break away your liver 

And dare your heart to beat ‘bout my...
Lagunitas ‘cause they ice cold, 

Yes, they got’ em for sale, I mean...
Yes, she got ‘em for sale, yeah.
~ Robert Johnson
‘They’re Red Hot’ (-reinterpreted)

FarAwayEyes, congratulations!
U R my hero and...
This brew
Is 4 U:
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~ Stephen T. McCarthy

YE OLDE COMMENT POLICY: All comments, pro and con, are welcome. However, ad hominem attacks and disrespectful epithets will not be tolerated (read: "posted"). After all, this isn’t Amazon.com, so I don’t have to put up with that kind of bovine excrement.
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23 comments:

  1. Hey, send me a cap with that music...

    ReplyDelete
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    1. OK. If we go again this Saturday, I'll try to remember to tell the waitress I want the cap.

      ~ D-FensDogg
      'Loyal American Underground'

      Delete
  2. I'm not a beer-drinker. At all. But my hubby and kids more than make up for my deficiency. In fact, our daughter is bar manager at a big restaurant/ mini-brewery.

    However, that food sounds fabulous. But I know a place in Baltimore that sells an even better grilled cheese. (if you like seafood, that is) It has four kinds of cheese and a thick layer of fresh backfin crab meat on some reeeeeally good homemade bread. It's so good, it's downright decadent.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. SUSAN ~
      Backfin crab?

      "It doesn’t have eyes, does it? I’m a longtime vegetarian."

      Guess I'll stick with my havarti, muenster, & cheddar, with local tomato, on sourdough. It's good enough for a liberal Democrat vegetarian like me. ("Make peace, not meat!")
      ;-)

      ~ D-FensDogg
      'Loyal American Underground'

      Delete
    2. As Sarah Palin said, "If God didn't want us to eat meat, why did He make it so tasty?"

      Delete
    3. SUSAN ~
      That's a good point, and who am I to argue with Sarah Palin?!

      I feel my time as a vegetarian is coming to an end. My question now is... What side dishes should I include with my Baked Palin entree? However, the dessert is a no-brainer: baked Alaska.

      ~ D-FensDogg
      'Loyal American Underground'

      Delete
  3. According to Supreme Overlord Google, sopressata is a dry salami. If it's anything like how they make hotdogs, it's made of used car tires, rain boots, and raccoon anus, so you're safe as a vegetarian. (Wait, do they have to kill or harm the raccoon to extract its rectum?)

    I love a good Lagunitas. Brandon and I just drank some of that last week while we worked on our screenplay. I'd never heard of Lagunitas Sucks, but now that I have, well, I have to see if I can find a place that carries it before they run out for the season.

    "Mindy’s Mac & Cheese
    ......baked to perfection, with loads of cheddar & mild green chiles"

    This sounds pretty damn tasty. Most don't know this about me, but I'm quite the culinary artist (or at least I'd like to think I am. Let me have my delusional dream). I catered my own wedding, and everyone raved over it. My personal best dish - my mac and cheese. I like to put a lot of adventurous stuff in my mac and cheese - diced portobello mushrooms, leeks, white truffle oil, etc. But one thing I've never thought to try is green chiles. Which seems like kind of a 'duh' moment, since I fresh roast green chiles every time I make my slowcooker green chili (or chile verde, for the brown folk). I am seriously going to have to try that.

    Speaking of chiles, have you ever tried chile beer? I can't remember the name of the beer (I haven't seen it in ages, maybe Crazy Ted's Chile Beer, something like that? I believe it's even brewed in Airheadzona), but they had a jalapeno pepper at the bottom of each beer. It seemed a little gimmicky, and frankly, the beer tastes like garbage. The pepper is too hot, and the beer they put in there is this light pisswater Corona knockoff type beer (so you can see the pepper better - again, gimmicky). I liked a bit of the heat, though, and I've always thought that if they made a better beer with a milder pepper (for just that light mouthfeel of heat) it might make for a decent beer. Or it might be horrible. Who knows?

    I also brew beer (jack of all trades, master of none!), and I'm thinking of making that my next endeavor, now that my wife's grandmother had this handmade for me in Mexico. It's a brewing barrel, it's been properly cured, and it's waiting for some awesome homebrewed beer.

    http://i.imgur.com/8bGFLbz.jpg

    Oh, and regarding your question from the last post (I'm a fan of consolidation), Brandon and I actually met when we were elementary school aged, but not in actual elementary school. We met in catechism, aka after-school Catholic classes for 6 year olds. And let me tell you, if there's anyone who wants to hear about the teachings of the Catholic church, it's a 6 year old with the attention span of a goldfish. Needless to say we slacked off a lot, cracked juvenile jokes, and the rest is history.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Part 1:

      BRYAN ~
      You leave such great comments, giving me so much material to work with! I have the BEST commenters – especially Sheboyganboy Six, Sig Too, and You. All y’all really dig into the details.

      >>... sopressata is a dry salami. ...it's made of used car tires, rain boots, and raccoon anus, so you're safe as a vegetarian.

      Yep. Thanks for the info. As long as there are no “eyes” staring up at me, my vegetarianism is secure. (Obviously, I’m not quite a “Vegan”.)

      >>...I love a good Lagunitas. Brandon and I just drank some of that last week while we worked on our screenplay. I'd never heard of Lagunitas Sucks, but now that I have, well, I have to see if I can find a place that carries it before they run out for the season.

      Lagunitas ‘Little Sumpin’ Ale’, Lagunitas ‘Hop Stoopid’, and now Lagunitas ‘Sucks’ – three of my very favorite brews. In fact, ‘Little Sumpin’ Ale’ was one of the last two brews standing after our ‘Blind Beer Taste Test’ contest. It seems that the ‘Sucks’ I’m still able to get at The Main Ingredient is past its “season”. I can only wonder how great it is when truly ‘fresh’. I gotta warn ya though, Bro, it’s quite the “hop bomb” and definitely no “session” beer. If that’s not to your personal taste... think twice.

      >>... My personal best dish - my mac and cheese. I like to put a lot of adventurous stuff in my mac and cheese - diced portobello mushrooms, leeks, white truffle oil, etc.

      [For the purposes of typing this reply to your comment, I put on the (great) album ‘Communique’ by Dire Straits which includes the song ‘PORTOBELLO Belle’.] Sounds freakin’ GREAT! Even though I have no idea what ‘white truffle oil’ is. Is it anything like fresh squeezed Paris Hilton?

      >>... Speaking of chiles, have you ever tried chile beer? I can't remember the name of the beer (I haven't seen it in ages, maybe Crazy Ted's Chile Beer, something like that? I believe it's even brewed in Airheadzona), but they had a jalapeno pepper at the bottom of each beer.

      HA! Oh, man, such memories! Hell YES, I know about Chili Beer! The new version of it is reviewed HERE.

      But, I believe the new version is brewed in Mexico, so your “Corona” remark does not miss the target much (and NEVER would have, even when it was truly brewed in Airheadzona).

      Lemme tell ya what I remember about the original ‘Cave Creek Chili Beer’...

      It was first brewed by The Satisfied Frog brewery in Cave Creek, Airheadzona (just North of Phoenix), hence the name. I was first there in 1993, when I lived in Prescott. I went there with my brother for some weekend festival where I met my Sister, her husband, and her husband’s brother, Bill Deans, and his wife. We drank a lot of beer together at The Satisfied Frog bar (this is when I was first getting into better, micro-brewed beers) and my sister and Bill’s wife won the “mucking contest” for females (but got ripped off by the judges and were wrongly awarded 2nd place instead of their deserved 1st place ranking).

      Continued Below...

      Delete
    2. Part 2:

      Anyway, we all drank a lot of The Satisfied Frog’s ‘Chili Beer’, but no one drank more than Bill Deans did. Bill saved all the chilis in a glass which showed how many 12-ounce curls he’d done. When we got back to my sister’s house, in getting out of the car, Bill tossed his chilis. (By that, I don’t mean he threw up; he dropped the glass containing the chili peppers and they spilled all over the driveway.)

      But Bill was so into beer that he started his own brewing company and he was brewing some serious A-list stuffs. How good was it? Well, to mention only one place, it was on tap at a little bistro in Venice/Marina Del Rey, California. We went there and Brother Nappy still says it might be the best beer he ever drank. Also, according to my sister, Gordon Ramsay [Google the name if you’re not already familiar with it] liked ‘Deans Brothers Beer’ so much that he wanted it on tap in his own place.

      Bill was at a point where he really needed to expand, hire some help and really run with the momentum he was generating. But that didn’t happen when it should have, and now, I hear, he’s trying to regenerate some of that lost momentum. No one knows more than I do that it’s extremely difficult to play “catch up” when your time has come and gone... so I don’t have much faith in the eventual success of ‘Deans Brothers Beer’.

      Anyway, I once posted rather extensively about it on my old ‘STUFFS’ blog, which, if interested, you can read HERE.

      >>... It seemed a little gimmicky, and frankly, the beer tastes like garbage.

      Yes. Even when Chili Beer was brewed in Cave Creek, Airheadzona, by The Satisfied Frog Brewery (which I think exists now ONLY as a bar and NOT a brewery), it was still essentially just “Corona” with a hot pepper in it. I liked it for the novelty it was, but I agree that a really good, hoppy brew that included a chili pepper might have some REAL potential. I LOVE all forms of spicy food, and an A-list spicy ale is something I could definitely get into big time. (We look to you, Brewer Boy Bryan, to make that concept a reality!)

      >>... Brandon and I actually met ... in catechism, aka after-school Catholic classes for 6 year olds.

      Dude, if that’s NOT the subject for a very funny blog bit, I don’t know what is!!!

      As my Brother Nappy and I would say... “GETCHAAZZ” to work on that blog bit!

      ~ D-FensDogg
      ‘Loyal American Underground’

      Delete
    3. It seems like I'm way past the cutoff for Sucks season. Our local liquor warehouse doesn't have it, and if they don't have it, the other tiny liquor stores definitely won't. I guess I'll have to wait until next year.

      White truffle oil is just olive oil infused with the taste of truffles. It's got a very distinctive taste, and I quite like it. The Deans Brother's friend Mr. Gordon Ramsay, however, thinks it's an abomination.

      http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/dailydish/2011/06/chef-gordon-ramsay-on-the-one-ingredient-you-should-not-have-in-your-pantry.html

      So I won't be making my next beer with white truffle oil, but I WILL hopefully make it with some peppers.

      Also, we really do need to write a full post about our meeting in catechism. We've joked a bit about that on the blog before, but never done a full post. Monday's is already written up, but maybe we can do that for next Thursday... the wheels are already turning. Be very afraid.

      Lastly, here's a fun Easter Egg you might not have realized - on our blog, the lovely young woman who replied to our douchey commenter today (who came roaring back with a real doozy, didn't he?) is none other than the missus. She was so enraged at the sheer idiocy of his comment that she created an account just to 'scorn' him, as she says.

      If that ain't love, I don't know what is!

      Delete
    4. Part 1:

      BRYAN ~

      >>... It seems like I'm way past the cutoff for Sucks season.

      Yes, here too. How 'THE MAIN INGREDIENT' is getting it I haven't a clue, because it's not even available here at the ‘Total Wine And More’ stores, and if TWAM can't get it... fuhgeddaboudit.

      Of course my first thought was that The Main Ingredient is selling pretty old beer when it comes to 'SUCKS'. But... the first couple times Brother Nappy and I went to TMI (about 8 weeks ago), 'Sucks' wasn't on the beer menu. The menu changes frequently, depending upon what's available on tap and bottled.

      But the third time we were at TMI, 'Sucks' was suddenly there under the bottled section. Nappy pointed it out to me and I said I'd never heard of it before. But a new "Lagunitas"... naturally, I ordered it immediately.

      So, if it's old, why did TMI acquire some just 6 weeks ago? Also... it sure doesn't taste old. Tastes great... if not less filling.

      I don't know what to think, but I'll just keep ordering it until it suddenly disappears from the menu.

      >>… The Deans Brother's friend Mr. Gordon Ramsay, however, thinks it's an abomination.

      I read the article, which I thought was kinda funny. People get so SERIOUS about their passions, don’t they? In the final analysis though, each person has their own tastes, and if Tracy believes "But it's ... it's good”, then she should “never, ever, ever, ever even” have thought of saying she’d “never, ever, ever, ever even think of adding white truffle oil to her dishes” again.

      I would have said, “F##k you, you overrated, overpaid, overindulged homosexuals! From now on, I’m putting white truffle oil on EVERYTHING I make!” But then you know politically-incorrect me, Bryan. Ha!

      Continued Below...

      Delete
    5. Part 2:

      >>… So I won't be making my next beer with white truffle oil, but I WILL hopefully make it with some peppers.

      Don’t forget to send me some. (I promise not to ‘toss my chilis’.)

      >>… Also, we really do need to write a full post about our meeting in catechism. ... maybe we can do that for next Thursday... the wheels are already turning. Be very afraid.

      Ha!-Ha! Well, I can easily imagine the humorous possibilities in a blog bit like that, which is why I suggested it with such enthusiasm. (Not to be confused with SERIOUSLY trying to tell you what to do on your own blog, like our friend “Big Brother”.)

      >>... the lovely young woman who replied to our douchey commenter today ... is none other than the missus.

      Ha! Oh, Beer Boy, I don’t know if I should tell you this or not... but… well... I’ll take my chances...

      I (obviously) read her reply, and I liked it so much that I clicked on her icon. I was planning to read her blog and if I found it as politically incorrect as her comment on YOUR blog, I was going start ‘Following’ it. Then I saw she had NO blog and only 9 “profile views”. So I was wondering who she was, coming out of nowhere to defend you on your blog.

      Also... b-duh, b-duh, b-duh... Well, I did tell you before that I have always been especially attracted to Hispanic women (and vice versa)? I thought she looked pretty darn... uhm... well... like Chili Beer... “hot”. (I mean this as a compliment to BOTH OF YOUZ!)

      The only thing I questioned was... in that photo, the back of her hair looks like it’s purple, or magenta, or some such color. I thought maybe it was just a trick of the light, but I wasn’t sure. And I thought: That is a woman who does not NEED to do anything strange to her hair in order to get MY attention!

      That guy, Josh... he’s the same guy who was spouting a lot of rubbish about how you were unreasonable for expecting your doctor to... help you! I remembered him. (At 53, my mind ain’t what it used to be, but... I can still recall my enemies. ;-)

      Remember, I complimented you for putting that guy in his place the second time he spouted his crapola about your health and doctor visits, and you told him how well you take care of your body?

      I went to his blog back then (looking to start a fight, I suppose) but it’s one of those newfangled blogs that just look weird to me, so I didn’t bother with him.

      However, you done reel good. Your wife’s brain is as good as her looks!

      ~ D-FensDogg
      ‘Loyal American Underground’

      Delete
    6. I would have said, “F##k you, you overrated, overpaid, overindulged homosexuals! From now on, I’m putting white truffle oil on EVERYTHING I make!” But then you know politically-incorrect me, Bryan. Ha!

      Yes, that sounds about right!

      Hey, like I said, I'm good enough of a cook that I can impress all of my friends, whose cooking skills are all of, "Open bag, put bag in microwave, turn on microwave." They tell me my food is the best they've ever had, and that's good enough for me. I don't need to impress a "culinary master" just to enjoy my meals.

      Besides, for getting "rave reviews," I don't know many people who genuinely want to pay $100 for something like this, other than rich food snobs.

      http://www.asiteforthat.com/posts/fancyConfit.jpg

      "Mmmm, did you enjoy your single bite of whatever exotic fish that was? How about the single vegetable underneath it? Did you dip it in the teaspoon of sauce? Man, that was a great meal! But hey, I'm still hungry, so let's go hit up Burger King on the way home..."

      No thank you.

      So here's a fun fact for you as an amateur beer brewer: beer will stay good as long as it's kept cold and in darkness. If kept out, light will penetrate the bottle and start to break down some of the components in the liquid, which leads to "skunked" beer. So if The Main Ingredient is keeping it cool and out of light (which it sounds like they are) that beer should last a long time. When I brew beer, I brew a little over 2 gallons at a time, which comes out to 24 bottles. Now, I can't drink all 24 quickly (especially because I like variety), so it'll take me about 3-4 months to drink all of it, and each time it's still good to the very last beer.

      Speaking of beer drinking, I see your comment down below to Ms FAE, and I have to confess: my wife drinks beer. My beer. And only one beer at a time, about once a month. But don't hold that against her, alright? She means well. Wine is more her thing.

      Also, I'm curious, is it weird to you if a woman drinks a lot of beer, or a single beer, or is it dependent on the type of beer? The beer I make is usually very flavorful and infused with something like honey or a small amount of fruit (just for a hint of flavor - the beer is actually never sweet), and if the wife drinks a beer, it's usually only one beer and something fruity like Blue Moon with a twist of orange. (Forgive her, she knows not the joy of hops. But on the plus side, she refuses to drink anything like Bud Light, Coors Light, Miller Lite, etc.)

      So what I'm saying is that she's not a tattoo'd beer chugger, really!

      Delete
    7. Comment, The Sequel:

      One of the things she loves to do, as the black ladies might say, is to "go get her hair did." And the amount of compliments she gets on her hair is amazing. Total strangers will come up to her and tell her how good it looks. That picture doesn't do it justice, but it's brownish red with the slightest tinge of purple that shows mostly in the sun or strong overhead lights. It's not overdone, and it's definitely not something like this:

      http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m43aovWPJw1qi7865o1_1280.jpg

      ...which I am not a fan of.

      Also, compliment graciously taken! I find that only the overly jealous and insecure get upset when their lady receives an honest compliment. Plus, who doesn't want to hear that they made the right decision? I honestly think the only reason my parents have gotten off of my back for being a full time writer is because they love her so damn much. We'll go visit my parents, and my mother always buys my wife presents. Not for me, mind you, just for her.

      Also, yes, who could forget Josh? Every time he leaves a comment like that I think about going over to his blog and starting a fight, but then I realize it's just not worth it. Josh is the kind of person who just wants the world to think he's smart. He tries to use big words, he tries to post about cutting edge technology and scientific advances, and he loves to offer know-it-all advice, but I just think it's a front. His blog is poorly written, his advice (as seen) is completely idiotic and misinformed, and he often doesn't even understand the concepts he's trying to explain.

      I suppose what's oddest about it all is that I never comment on his blog. The only time I ever did was just to TELL him that I put him in his place so he'd come back and read my reply. And yet... still he comes by and leaves his snide comments. For all he says, that must somehow mean that he loves our blog, right? Otherwise... why the hell would he keep coming back?

      ...But really, though, why does he keep coming back?

      Delete
    8. Part 1:

      4-B ~
      I just got home from ‘The Main Ingredient’, where I had two bottles of ‘SUCKS’ and an order of the Veggie Quesadilla. I’ve now got one of my all-time favorite CDs playing (‘LIVING WATER: The Surfer’s Mass’ by The Malibooz) and I’m r-r-r-r-ready to r-r-r-r-reply!

      Looking back all these years later, I can hardly even understand how I didn’t starve to death before the microwave oven became standard kitchen equipment. But I somehow survived all the way through high school without a microwave.

      I do not find it difficult to believe that you can cook really well, because you seem like a man of many interests and talents.

      My neighbors across the street – a Mexican woman and her twenty-something daughter – are unbelievable cooks! They frequently bring things over here for my Brother and me, and 99% of everything they make is really SPECIAL! If I were 25 years younger, I would try to woo the daughter just for the food. Ha!

      I told the daughter, Crystal, that they really should open their own restaurant, and Crystal said it’s been a dream of her Mother’s for a long time. If I ever somehow came into a lot of money (like, if I won the Lottery, which I never play) I would SERIOUSLY bankroll those women into their own restaurant. I wouldn’t even ask them to pay me back in money. Unlimited meals for life is all I would ask in return. There’s NO WAY a restaurant that those two women were in charge of could fail. (Unlike ‘AMY’S BAKING COMPANY’ of Scottsdale, Airheadzona. Are you familiar with that story? I haven’t looked it up online or at YouTube, but it’s being mocked on Airheadzona talk radio on a daily basis.)

      >>... I'm still hungry, so let's go hit up Burger King on the way home..."

      [;-)}
      Exactly!

      >>... So here's a fun fact for you as an amateur beer brewer: beer will stay good as long as it's kept cold and in darkness.

      Actually, I knew that... up to a point. I knew that dark brown beer bottles were better than green or (worst of all) clear glass bottles because of their ability to keep the light out. I also knew that the “light” factor was also a major reason some beer enthusiasts have come to prefer canned to bottled beer.

      However, based on what you said, it seems that beer – under the best of circumstances – will stay good much longer than I previously believed.

      >>...Also, I'm curious, is it weird to you if a woman drinks a lot of beer, or a single beer, or is it dependent on the type of beer?...

      To be honest with you, Bro, the whole ‘Woman With Beer’ thing is totally unreasonable. I acknowledge that. Ordinarily, I am like “analytically anal”. That’s not as bad as it sounds. I just mean that I am and always have been HIGHLY analytical about most things; I’m a thinker. I enjoy digging into the details (where the devil is) and really trying to consider subjects from various angles and only THEN, making up my mind about them.

      The reason I kicked so much Liberal Booty in debates is because I already knew the subject thoroughly before I even took a stance on it. I know what my Liberal opponents are GOING to say long before they say it. I already know THEIR arguments completely – as well as I know my own - and that’s how I know that A) they’re wrong, and B) I will win this debate in the end.

      Continued Below...

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    9. Part 2:

      But when it comes to ‘Beer-sucking women’, NONE of that applies. On a conscious level, I know that my view is unreasonable and unsustainable; I know that every woman has just as much right to enjoy and drink beer as I do. But... there’s this “visceral” reaction I have to it that I can’t begin to explain.

      And it’s not exactly a “dunderheaded macho” thang, because whiskey is stronger than beer. I.E., If we poured a shot of 80 proof whiskey, it would be 40% alcohol. If we poured a shot of 8% ABV beer, it would be only 8% alcohol. Forty versus eight. And I’d have no problem watching a woman down the shot of whiskey (I’d probably pour her a second shot); but the shot of beer... eew.

      I don’t know why, but just the thought of a woman with beer breath creeps me out. Whiskey, vodka, gin... not the same effect for some damned reason. No can explain. But I guess songs like ‘Beer Drinkers And Hell Raisers’ and ‘Colorado Kool-Aid’ somehow brainwashed me into thinking that beer was just for bad boys with bad breath.

      A beer-drinking woman does not turn me off TOTALLY... like a tattooed woman does. (A woman with a tattoo ought to just hang a big neon sign around her neck that says “I’m a follower, not a leader”.)

      But the whole Beer/Woman thing is just me being a maroon dinosaur (not to be confused with Barney, who is a purple and green dinosaur).

      Your wife’s hair looks great! Mexican women have “a leg up” on hair to begin with. There’s this young Mexican girl who works as a janitor (I suppose “housekeeping” is the more PC term) in a building where a few of my clients are located. She has this incredible hair that just falls down her neck and back, wavy and shining like a cascading black waterfall. So many times I’ve felt tempted to say, “You do know that you have the best hair of all time, don’t you?” But I’ll never say it because she’d probably think it was just a “pickup line”. (Not a chance – she’s probably young enough to be a grandchild of mine!)

      Continued Below...

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    10. Part 3:

      >>...Also, compliment graciously taken! I find that only the overly jealous and insecure get upset when their lady receives an honest compliment.

      I had no doubt you’d take it the right way. Besides... I simply couldn’t resist saying that she was like ‘Chili Beer’. Ha-Ha-Hot!

      >>... Josh is the kind of person who just wants the world to think he's smart. He tries to use big words...

      Gotcha! I never attempt to make myself appear intelligent by using a puffed up vocabulary. Long ago, I took to heart the advice of the following two highly intelligent men:

      I never write "metropolis" for seven cents because I can get the same price for "city." I never write "policeman" because I can get the same money for "cop."
      ~ Mark Twain

      Some of what has still to be learned by the West may appear to be almost absurdly simple and elementary, but it is important nonetheless. For example, never to use a long word where a short one will serve equally well, never to write with the idea of proving one's own erudition but rather in order to ensure that one's ideas shall be made as understandable to the reader as possible.
      ~ Douglas Hyde
      (from his book "Dedication And Leadership")

      >>... his advice (as seen) is completely idiotic and misinformed, and he often doesn't even understand the concepts he's trying to explain.

      He strikes me as someone who has been mentally conditioned by the postmodern forces at work in our society. Does he hold even a single politically incorrect opinion? Maybe, but I kinda doubt it.

      >>... still he comes by and leaves his snide comments. For all he says, that must somehow mean that he loves our blog, right? Otherwise... why the hell would he keep coming back?

      I agree. I’ve seen him leave complimentary comments on your blog, which I think he usually finds entertaining

      >>... But really, though, why does he keep coming back?

      Oh, you mean why does he “REALLY”?
      Don’t shoot me, because I’m just the messenger, but...

      ...maybe he thinks you’re like... ‘Chili Beer’.

      (Ha! Sorry, Bro, but I couldn’t he’p m’self. It would be like asking Larry Csonka NOT to run through a massive hole that had suddenly opened at the line of scrimmage!)

      ~ D-FensDogg
      ‘Loyal American Underground’

      Delete
  4. Not much of a beer drinker, of course, maybe if I drank 'better' beer, I would like it more. Ha! But, the food at that place looks and sounds heavenly. that grilled cheese is yummy (and I don't normally think pictures of food look too appetizing. The Calvano, sounds great, jut have them leave off the salami (yuck!)

    Thanks for the shout out! All you have to do is be a little bit crazy and keep looking for the next adventure. They are out there.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. FAE ~

      >>... Not much of a beer drinker

      No? Then you're a lousy example of a postmodern woman! You probably don't even drive a pickup truck and have no tattoos. What good iz youz?

      Alright, I'm-a just say it because - you know me - I don't give a hairball what anyone else thinks. I yam what I yam, and anyone who don't like it can just kiss my sweet potato...

      Women who drink beer make me... uncomfortable. Why? I don't know... it's one of those things you KNOW but can't necessarily EXPLAIN. But I know my Brother feels the EXACT SAME WAY, because he's told me so.

      Am I saying women shouldn't drink? Hell no! How would most of us guys get any "action" if women didn't drink?

      And, for the most part, I don't even care WHAT women drink - white whine, red whine, rum, bourbon, gin, vodka, tequila... eh... tequila?... alright, even tequila - just so long as they ain't drinkin'... beer.

      I don't know but, somehow, I can't think of anything less "feminine" than a woman with the smell of BEER on her breath! ...Unless it's a woman with a tattoo on her skin.

      For me, one single tattoo on a woman is a total deal-breaker! Beer on her breath is the next worst thing.

      Are those sexist ideas? Do they represent the thinking of a "male chauvinist pig"? I hope to hell they DO! And if so... I don't give a hairball.

      >>... All you have to do is be a little bit crazy and keep looking for the next adventure. They are out there.

      Well, I'm MORE than "a little bit crazy", but "the next adventure" I hope to have is the one that takes place in timelessness and is totally non-physical. I'm really very, very tired of the pseudo-world.

      ~ D-FensDogg
      'Loyal American Underground'

      POSTSCRIPT: Are you planning to tell your blog 'Followers' about the new you with the new view?

      Delete
  5. Adventures are every where...

    I've been to Petaluma before... I liked it. And Flagstaff? I could live there in a heart beat!!

    Obama would give most of us more to write about than we can even process, but you acknowledged that!

    Have a great weekend!

    ~shoes~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SHOES ~

      I can’t see or hear the word PETALUMA without immediately thinking of Norman ‘Spirit In The Sky’ Greenbaum.

      And, yep, I done been to Flagstaff, where I had a C-list adventure.

      Thanks for dropping by, Buddy!

      ~ D-FensDogg
      ‘Loyal American Underground’

      Delete
  6. Imagine that; me the epitome of femininity. Don't drink beer, don't have tattoos (well, except for the four teeny little ones that were not my choice), only thing pierced are my ears, and I have only driven a pick-up truck when it was absolutely necessary (horses don't fit too well in the back of an SUV). Also, I'm not in the habit of kissing sweet potatoes.

    As for 'adventures', I think maybe God has something else in mind for you, just now.

    As for the show and tell; not quite yet.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. >>... I'm not in the habit of kissing sweet potatoes.

      What have you got against sweet potatoes? Sweet potatoes are sweet on YOU!

      >>... As for 'adventures', I think maybe God has something else in mind for you, just now.

      Yeah. Five months of 3-digit hell.

      >>... As for the show and tell; not quite yet.

      SHEESH!

      ~ D-FensDogg
      'Loyal American Underground'

      Delete

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