‘AMERICA’S BEST BEERS IN 2013’ (Or, ‘BEST BREW? SAYS WHO?’)

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Five weeks back or so, I stumbled upon the American Homebrewers Association website where I found a listing of their reader’s poll results for ‘Best Beers In America – 2013 Edition’. You can read the entire page for yourself by clicking HERE.

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I was pretty surprised by some of the beers that “made the grade”. Frankly, as I told my Brother Nappy, “It’s a weird list”.

Of course, everyone’s going to have their own preferences when it comes to beer, so I suppose, logically, most beer drinkers would probably think the list was “weird” when it comes to certain inclusions and omissions.

I toyed with the idea of posting the poll results here at F-FFF and then providing some of my own commentary, but I just never got around to it. However, a recent comment section discussion with my friend Bryan Pedus of the ‘A BEER FOR THE SHOWER’ blog has inspired me to finally hop to it.

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Excerpted from the American Homebrewers Association site [with STMcC remarks added]:

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For the past 11 years, we've asked Zymurgy readers to share a list of their 20 favorite beers that are commercially available in the United States. We tallied the votes, and here are the results for the 2013 Best Beers in America survey.

TOP-RANKED BEERS

For 2013, we have a five-peat! Russian River's ‘Pliny the Elder’, a double IPA, claimed the top spot for the fifth straight year. Finishing second for the fourth straight year was Bell's ‘Two Hearted Ale’, an IPA. (T indicates tie)

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1. Russian River ‘Pliny the Elder’ STMcC: This beer is now nearly legendary. Brewed in California and not available here in Phoenix, Brother Nappy and I decided to pick up a six-pack of it when we took a trip back to Los Angeles in May of 2012. Easier said than done! We couldn’t find a single store that had it in stock; at one place on the “North Side” of Santa Monica we were told that shipments of Pliny The Elder are irregular, and it is often sold out within hours of arrival at the store. You’d think the brewer would want to increase production to keep up with demand, but maybe it’s that same difficulty in getting it that keeps the demand up. Anyway, Nappy and I found it on tap at the famous Santa Monica bar ‘Father’s Office’. Links: Father’s Office @ Wikipedia FATHER’S OFFICE . What did we think? Well, it’s a ‘Double I.P.A.’ alright, and a vastly overrated one. We each had one glass of it twice, one day apart. It wasn’t bad, but Nappy and I were both complaining 15 to 20 minutes after we’d finished the beer that the taste of it was still in our mouths! That flavor just keeps going and going and going... Pliny The Elder is the damned Energizer Bunny of Beers!

2. Bell's ‘Two Hearted Ale’ STMcC: Some of you may remember my series on this blog titled Blind Beer Taste Tests (Or, Beer Battles: Who Hops To The Top?). Well, the second Blind Beer Taste Test that Brother Nappy and I ever conducted occurred on Sept. 18, 2011, and in that “blindfolded taste test”, Prescott Brewing Company’s ‘Ponderosa I.P.A.’ kicked the hell out of Bell’s ‘Two-Hearted Ale’. ‘Ponderosa IPA’ moved on in the competition (making it into The Final 8), and ‘2-Hearted’ was never invited to 'The Dance' again. So that tells ya what I think of this list’s #2 ale: Overtooted and Overtwoted.

3. Dogfish Head ‘90 Minute IPA’ STMcC: We’ve had it. Nappy and I both like the ‘60 Minute IPA’ better.

4. Bell's ‘Hopslam Ale’

5. Ballast Point ‘Sculpin IPA’

6. Founders Breakfast Stout

7. ‘Arrogant Bastard Ale’ STMcC: It’s not bad; not great either.

8. Sierra Nevada ‘Ruthless Rye IPA’ STMcC: Fantastic, artistic beer bottle label! And the beer’s fairly decent (for Sierra Nevada), but the best Rye beer I’ve had so far (and by a LARGE margin) is Bear Republic Brewing Company’s ‘Hop Rod Rye’.

T9. Lagunitas ‘Sucks’ STMcC: Quite possibly my very favorite beer. I guess it always depends somewhat upon my mood du jour, but this one – with the upfront explosion of grapefruit and citrus, and the aftertaste, when the delayed-reaction hop bomb goes off – just blew my mind after one sip. (I even saved the empty bottle and sneaked it out of the bar with me when I stumbled out the “In” door.) Link to a Video Review: http://craftbeertemple.com/videoblog/2012/01/lagunitas-sucks/

T9. Sierra Nevada ‘Celebration Ale’ STMcC: Actually, this one is pretty good. Probably my favorite amongst the Sierra Nevada line of brews.

T9. Stone ‘Ruination IPA’ STMcC: This is one of those “hophead hop bombs” that are just all hops and bitterness with no balance. Had it once; once was enough. Stone’s ‘Ruination’ would love to be Lagunitas’ ‘Sucks’ when it grows up and matures into a great beer.

T12. North Coast ‘Old Rasputin’

T12. Sierra Nevada ‘Torpedo Extra IPA’ STMcC: My Brother Nappy likes this one quite a bit (it’s on his ‘Top Ten Beers’ list) but, to me, there’s something a little “harsh” about it that rubs me the wrong way slightly. It’s drinkable for sure, but there are plenty I like much better.

T12. Stone ‘Enjoy By IPA’

15. Sierra Nevada ‘Pale Ale’ STMcC: You gotta give Sierra Nevada credit for being at the forefront of the Craft Brewing movement in America back in 1980. And for some years, this beer was one of the best games in town. But it’s been well surpassed by so many excellent brews that have been invented and have now nearly flooded the Craft Beer market. The nearly countless examples of fine beers representing so many styles and hybrids that one can now explore leaves Sierra Nevada ‘Pale Ale’ in the dust, like a bypassed but respected dinosaur. In it’s day, Sierra Nevada ‘Pale Ale’ was a Superstar. And according to this poll result, it seems plenty of beer-drinkers still think it shines.

16. ‘The Alchemist Heady Topper’

T17. Firestone Walker ‘Double Jack’

T17. Founders Kentucky ‘Breakfast Stout’

19. Oskar Blues ‘Dale's Pale Ale’ STMcC: The first time I had this beer, I got it on tap at ‘RIP’s Bar’, a really cool A-Frame watering hole here in Phoenix. The beer was good enough that I tried it again later in 6-pack cans. Then I pretty much dismissed it. The beer? A “B”. The bar? An “A”.

20. Firestone Walker ‘Wookey Jack’

T21. Bear Republic ‘Racer 5 IPA’ STMcC: This one’s pretty decent. As I recall (too damned lazy to check my notes), this one was in our ‘Blind Beer Taste Tests’ competition, or 'The Dance'. I believe it got eliminated after Round One, but it’s not bad.

T21. Three Floyds ‘Zombie Dust’

T23. Firestone Walker ‘Union Jack IPA’ STMcC: I had this one for the first time on tap at ‘The Main Ingredient’ about a month ago, and it immediately leaped onto my ‘Top Ten Beers’ list. (Shoulda been invited to 'The Dance'.)

T23. Lagunitas ‘Little Sumpin' Ale’ STMcC: This one faced off against ‘BIG SKY IPA’ in the Championship Round of our ‘Blind Beer Taste Tests’ competition. [See my ‘Top Ten Beers’ list below.]

25. Goose Island ‘Bourbon County Stout’

26. ‘Surly Furious’

T27. Deschutes ‘Black Butte Porter’

T27. Green Flash ‘West Coast IPA’ STMcC: This one is on Brother Nappy’s ‘Top Ten Beers’ list. It was my slightly less enthusiastic grades that knocked it out of ‘The Dance’.

T27. Troegs ‘Nugget Nectar’

30. Dogfish Head ‘60 Minute IPA’ STMcC: A solid I.P.A. Not close to the best, but pretty darned good if I.P.A.’s are in your wheelhouse.

31. Russian River ‘Consecration’

T32. Boulevard Tank ‘7 Farmhouse Ale’

T32. New Belgium ‘La Folie’

T32. Russian River ‘Supplication’

35. ‘Avery the Maharaja’

36. Lagunitas ‘IPA’ STMcC: This one’s kind of “hit” or “a little miss” with me, depending upon my mood. But overall, Nappy and I both think it’s solid. (I believe I slightly prefer Lagunitas’ ‘New DogTown’ Pale Ale though – which would be an I.P.A. to many less hop-forward breweries.)

37. Stone ‘IPA’ STMcC: It’s not bad, but overrated.

38. Odell ‘IPA’ STMcC: I first had this one on tap at ‘GRANNY’S CLOSET’ in snowy Flagstaff. It was a beautiful citrusy-hoppy thing, and I’ve been a fan ever since. [See my ‘Top Ten Beers’ list below.]

T39. Great Lakes ‘Edmund Fitzgerald’

T39. Left Hand ‘Milk Stout’

T39. Russian River ‘Pliny the Younger’

T42. Odell ‘Myrcenary’ STMcC: Odell is one of my very favorite breweries (I’ve yet to have an Odell ‘Anything’ that I didn’t like to some degree or another). I’ve seen this brew available many times, and the VERY NEXT time I see it, I’m-a try it!

T42. Russian River ‘Blind Pig I.P.A.’

T42. Stone ‘Sublimely Self-Righteous’

45. Firestone Walker ‘Parabola’

T46. Ommegang ‘Hennepin Saison Ale’

T46. Left Hand ‘Milk Stout Nitro’ STMcC: Although I’m not a fan of Dark Beers, I tried this one once, only because a good friend of mine is named Nitro. (I like the Nitro person a lot more than I do the Nitro beer.)

T48. Ommegang ‘Three Philosophers’

T48. Deschutes ‘The Abyss’

T48. Green Flash ‘Palate Wrecker’ STMcC: I think I may have tried this one a few years ago, but if so, it obviously left no positive impression on my mind, so... there ya go.

T48. Lagunitas ‘Brown Shugga'

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Of the 51(?) beers listed above, I have definitely tried 20 of them. Although there are some A-list brews on that list, based on my 20 experiences, I find the list a bit “weird”.

Which brews (as of this date) would make my personal ‘Top Ten Beers’ list? Well, you’ll find my list below, in no particular order:

Lagunitas Brewing Co. ‘SUCKS’ (Double I.P.A.?)

If I were about to be executed by firing squad, I’d request a final cigarette. When the commander brought me the cigarette, I’d tell him, “No, thanks; I don’t smoke. Can I have a final beer instead?” And then I’d request Lagunitas ‘SUCKS’, which is so flavorful that it actually glows a brilliant orange from some sort of unfathomable internal lighting system:

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‘THE BREW REPORT’

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Big Sky Brewing Co. ‘BIG SKY I.P.A.’

This one actually came in First Place in the ‘Blind Beer Taste Test’ (‘The Dance’) challenge, due primarily to perfect hops-malt balance. A WAY UNDERRATED beer. Don’t believe it? Try tasting it against any other beer while you are “in the dark” and don’t know one beer from another.

Lagunitas Brewing Co. ‘LITTLE SUMPIN’ ALE’

This one faced off against ‘Big Sky IPA’ in the Championship Round and lost - much to the surprise of Brother Nappy and me. A fantastic wheat beer, especially when served extremely cold. (Not just ‘Top Ten’, but ‘Top Five’ for me.)

Lagunitas Brewing Co. ‘HOP STOOPID’

I’m sure this is a Double or Imperial I.P.A. (or ‘DIPA’). Bold, Bitter, but drinkable and... enjoyable. (I like this one more than Nappy does, but then I like hoppy and bitter better’n he does, so that makes sense.)

Prescott Brewing Co. ‘PONDEROSA I.P.A.’

A Final 8 competitor in ‘The Dance’. I once wrote a VERY SATIRICAL and (I thought) VERY FUNNY review of this beer. You can read that HERE, but don’t take it seriously because... I love ‘Ponderosa I.P.A.’

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Four Peaks Brewing Co. ‘HOP KNOT’

Four Peaks makes a number of locally available brews of different styles. ALL of them are mediocre, EXCEPT for ‘Hop Knot’, which made it to The Final Four in ‘The Dance’. This is not the beer “for every occasion”, but when you want to dive into something deep, ‘Hop Knot’ is the hop pool you’re lookin’ for. (The best thing you’ll find in Airheadzona, other than me.)

Odell Brewing Co. ‘ODELL I.P.A.’

Odell is one of the most reliable breweries, and their IPA is the best thing I’ve found from them (although everything I’ve tried was quite good). Odell is short for “O, Dellicious!”. Ahhh, whatevah.

Bear Republic Brewing Co. ‘RED ROCKET ALE’

‘Red Rocket Ale” – OUTTA SIGHT! The best “Red” since Maureen O’Hara!

Firestone Walker Brewing Co. ‘UNION JACK I.P.A.’

Brother Nappy ordered it recently from the tap at ‘The Main Ingredient’. After two sips from his glass, I knew I would order it next. After one full glass, I knew I would buy a six-pack of it at ‘Total Wine & More’. This one leaped onto my ‘Top Ten Beers’ list just within the last month. Hoppy. Bitter (but not “too”). Great.

Deschutes Brewing Co. ‘MIRROR POND’ PALE ALE

Pretty much the perfect “anytime, any-mood, go-to” beer. There’s a unique “ishness” to it – as in, “Deliciousishness”. (I TOLD YOU it was “unique”, didn’t I?)

You want something fairly light? ...‘Mirror Pond’. You want something with some “there” there? ...‘Mirror Pond’. You want to drink all night and never get “tired”? ...‘Mirror Pond’. You want something that will turn into a Roast Beef Sandwich at Midnight and into a Beautiful and Willing Blonde at 3:00 AM? ...Let me know if you find it!

No, seriously... If Lagunitas ‘SUCKS’ is my beer of choice when facing the firing squad in the 11th hour of Execution, then Deschutes ‘MIRROR POND’ is my beer of choice when facing a solitary lifetime alone on a lonely Island with no one else there except me all by myself, lonely, and all alone (unless you can find me that Roast Beef Sandwich/Willing Blonde thang).

Where does all this leave Odell Brewing Company’s ‘ODELL RED ALE’ (one of my former favorite brews)? I dunno. Making love to Maureen O’Hara’s leftovers, I suppose. (That would be me... in my dreams. ...Yeah, you know which kind of dreams... ‘RIT’ dreams.)

Beer:

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Music:

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HpkHbU0sfKk

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~ Stephen T. McBrewski

YE OLDE COMMENT POLICY: All comments, pro and con, are welcome. However, ad hominem attacks and disrespectful epithets will not be tolerated (read: "posted"). After all, this isn’t Amazon.com, so I don’t have to put up with that kind of bovine excrement.

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