All truth passes through three stages.
First, it is ridiculed.
Second, it is violently opposed.
Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.

Friday, May 6, 2011

A Review That’s MAINLY Tall TALE

[From the STMcC archive; written on March 28, 2007.]

Oddly enough, a lot of people seem to be of the belief that I was born on April 6th. (The fact that I used to tell people that April 6th is my birthdate may have played a small part in the confusion, but that’s just a guess.) In truth, I was born on the Eighth of August (which sure beats the Ides of March as a birthdate). This, of course, makes me a LEO THE LION. And when you are Leo The Lion, you are “The King Of The Jungle”, and people expect you to look like the top cat; you can’t exactly go out in public looking like a dog. And that’s why when I wash what’s left of my hair (which isn’t often and isn’t much) I use MANE ‘N TAIL Conditioner exclusively (except for when I use another brand of conditioner).

It is important that my mane is the cat’s meow when I cat around. Now in my 47th year, there’s a lot of competition from younger cats, and if I want to catch the eye of a lovely lioness, I simply must look my best. Any lion who would wash his mane ‘n fail to follow it up with MANE ‘N TAIL Conditioner should be flogged within an inch of one of his nine lives with a cat-o’-nine-tails! There’s simply no excuse - other than laziness – for not taking the little extra time to put the exquisite finishing touch of MANE ‘N TAIL Conditioner on your washing. Don’t you wish to look like a real cool cat from mane to tail before showing off your latest dance moves in front of the ladies? Don’t be a lazy lion!

MANE ‘N TAIL Conditioner will impart so much luster to your hair that it will make that other luster, Jimmy Carter, downright jealous. It works so well that you may have to shave your head and send your hair to Father Xavier Rojas for Confession. Split ends? MANE ‘N TAIL healed mine so well that I had to be fitted with a colostomy bag! If you want to continue with your cat and mouse game of running from one conditioner to another, you’re just wasting your time because all the hep cats know that quality hair products BEGIN ‘N END with MANE ‘N TAIL – the first and last name in hair care. Any lion who says I’m lyin’ had better “Put ‘em up! Put ‘em up! I can fight you with one paw tied behind my back. I can fight you standing on one foot.” (My only complaint is that MANE ‘N TAIL Conditioner doesn’t turn into a gazelle sandwich and a saucer of milk at midnight.)

You can be sure that this cat needs all the he’p he can get, and after I’m done shampooing my mane, I always finish the job with MANE ‘N TAIL Conditioner before leaving my lair and venturing into those Dens of Iniquity, chasing tail on a Saturday night. (Even though at my age, the tail I end up chasing is always my own.)

~ Stephen T. McCarthy

YE OLDE COMMENT POLICY: All comments, pro and con, are welcome. However, ad hominem attacks and disrespectful epithets will not be tolerated (read: "posted"). After all, this isn’t, so I don’t have to put up with that kind of bovine excrement.


  1. I used to use that stuff, too - long time ago now. It's good. But my hair is...difficult and I try to go mostly shampooless and I also like Pantene or something else I can't afford anymore lol. So funny that they could market a horse product to people like that; it was the novelty that first attracted me. A hint of shea butter (buy the pure stuff in bulk) will also slicken that hair real nice and it's great for all the skin...I just don't like the smell. The only stuff that helps my husband's psoriasis.

  2. ANNIEE ~
    Welcome back, my friend, to the show that never ends!

    >>>....I used to use that stuff, too

    "Too"? You do realize, don't you, that I have never actually used a Mane 'N Tail product?

    This review (like the one below it for Mane 'N Tail hair detangler) was meant strictly as a humor piece. I didn't hear you laugh, so it may have fallen flat in that regard. Guess I won't quit my day job.

    >>>....The only stuff that helps my husband's psoriasis.

    You're saying that Mane 'N Tail conditioner (or you talkin' 'bout their shampoo?) helps your husband's psoriasis? 'Cause I have it too, but not on the scalp. Even so, maybe I really should give this stuffs a try, eh?

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'

  3. Well the joke's on me; I thought you used the stuff lol. But, it is decent product.

    No, the psoriasis is helped by shea butter and nothing else. So if you ever have a dry spot that needs moisture, that's your stuff!

  4. Ah, OK, thanks. Maybe I'll give it a try. It's mostly a problem with my elbows. But, incidentally, I have not only psoriasis but psoriatic arthritis, which I take medication for, although it doesn't do anything to alleviate the "elbow patches".

    ~ D-FensDogg
    'Loyal American Underground'


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