BLIND BEER TASTE TESTS (Or, BEER BATTLES: WHO HOPS TO THE TOP?)

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Welcome to Part 1 of the Beer Battles.
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Our official slogan:
“Stop listening to your heart and your mind, and start listening to your taste buds.”

As I type this I’m listening to the Tom Waits album ‘The Heart Of Saturday Night’. If you can’t write about beer while listening to the Tom Waits album ‘The Heart Of Saturday Night’, then just hang up your beer mug and your keyboard, boy, because you simply can’t write about beer! That’s the most beer-soaked music I know.

Warning: This blog bit may be of interest only to “Hop Heads”.

A WEE-WEE BIT O’ HISTORY

I date the beginning of my ‘Better Beer Era’ to 1988 with its association to the last Los Angeles Dodgers championship and to Aixa.

Aixa was a UCLA student-employee I supervised in ’88. He was one of my very, very favorite UCLA student-employees; a super-cool “real man” guy’s guy with Old-School viewpoints. Aixa traced his traditional values back to family he had in Tennessee; he played rugby and was studying to become an archeologist (which he did).

In 1988, Aixa turned me on to two great things: he gave me a birthday present that consisted of a six-pack of Pilsner Urquell beer and the movie ‘Jacob’s Ladder’. Win!-Win!

For the rest of that year, I rooted my Dodgers to victory (anyone remember Kirk Gibson’s World Series home run in Game 1?) while drinking Pilsner Urquell. And ‘Jacob’s Ladder’? Well, simply said, it’s still the greatest psychological Horror movie ever made, isn’t it?

It was Pilsner Urquell that clued me in to the fact that there is a huge difference between mass-produced beers and “craft” beers.
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I decided to move to Airheadzona in 1992, and my family followed in my footsteps. When I moved from L.A. to Prescott, I discovered a beer brewed in Phoenix for the Murphy’s and Gurley Street Grill restaurants. It had a unique aftertaste that I loved. On paydays, I would go to my local Liquor Barn and buy bottles of other micro-brewed beers, and began sampling my way through the “craft beer” selection (which is now a thousand times bigger).

In ’94, I cut my losses and moved back to L.A. But my Pa wrote me from Prescott later that year to say that a new establishment had opened in town – the Prescott Brewing Company, located right across the street from where Billy Jack had kicked all that ass.

Pa told me that the beers brewed there were excellent. He was right. My favorite is the Prescott Brewing Company’s ‘PONDEROSA I.P.A.’ (which stands for India Pale Ale). Read on . . .

 SO WHAT THIS BLOG BIT BE ‘BOUT?

Brother Napoleon and I sometimes visit these beer sites like BeerAdvocate and RateBeer, and while they definitely give you a good starting point with an idea about which beers to sample, some of those reviewers get way too carried away with their descriptions.

In fact, I was forced to write a satirical blog bit that was inspired by some of those highfalutin beer snobs. It was titled ‘I Don’t Always Drink Urine, But When I Do, I Prefer Dos Equis’. I’ve been told it was pretty funny. [I’ll include a second link to it at the end of this blog bit.]

Nappy and I started conducting these blind taste tests of really high quality micro-brewed craft beers last year. Now we’ve decided to continue the tests until we have a winner by consensus.

So, this blog bit will be periodically updated until a winner has been declared. The first order of business has been to separate the real competitors from the really good brews that - as good as they are - are really minor players in the Big Dog Brewski Arena.  (And make no mistake, all of these beers we taste-test are remarkably better than the likes of Budweiser, Coors, Corona, Dos Equis, etc.)

Now, see, I have a theory that a lot of the beers that score so high (on BeerAdvocate and RateBeer) are living on long-established reputations that might not really beer bear up when the beer-sucker is unaware of what he is actually drinking. I mean, would a reviewer really rate SIERRA NEVADA PALE ALE so high if he were blindfolded and didn’t know he was actually drinking that beer? Conversely, some brews might be underrated simply because they aren’t already famous amongst the beer snob community.

I believe some reviewers tend to grade a beer too high or too low based solely on its reputation, and not wanting to seem out-of-step with the established view of that brew. Another likelihood is that some reviewers may deliberately down-grade a great brew just to appear rebellious, just to send a false signal that he has a higher standard than the rest of the elitist beer snobs; he’s trying to separate himself from “those philistines”.

Then there’s also an emotional investment to consider. Some beer drinkers have been drinking a certain brand for so long that they are convinced it’s their favorite; they have a long history of emotional investment in that beer. Can they truly judge it objectively at this point?

But what happens when a beer is administered to a beer-sucker while his eyes are closed and he can’t rely on reputation, or label, or preconceived notions about that beer? Will his so-called “favorite” really hold up against stiff competition? Will the Green Flash Brewing Company’s ‘WEST COAST I.P.A.’ really beat out lesser known and lesser hyped brews? When all you have to judge by are your taste buds, all bets are off, and now you can arrive at a truly objective opinion. And hence you’ve arrived at Stephen and Nappy’s official slogan for the BLIND BEER TASTE TESTS:

“Stop listening to your heart and your mind, and start listening to your taste buds.”

So, Brother Napoleon and I started these ongoing taste tests, and we intend to continue them (and update this blog bit with the results) until we come to the winner by our consensus.

Here’s how it works: We take turns closing our eyes while the other Bro hands the tester a glass of beer to sip and grade. The beers are all in identical glasses and presented in totally random order, so there is know way for the tester to know which brew he is sipping at the moment. And between sips, we cleanse our palates by eating a piece of cracker. After we have each completed a round of tests, we conduct a second test, each, using the very same beers, to see how consistent we are.

Our scoring system looks like this:

A+ = “Goes up to Eleven” points (Think: ‘Spinal Beer Tap’) 

A = 10 points

A- = 9 points

B+ = 8 points

B = 7 points

B- = 6 points

C+ = 5 points

C = 4 points

C- = 3 points

D+ = 2 points

D = 1 point

Anything less than a “D” earns no points but, considering the high quality beers we are testing, it’s unlikely that any one of them will be graded as low as that.

These are truly blind, random, objective tests in which the taste buds have not only the final say but the ONLY say.

Now the purists will complain that we shouldn’t have multiple styles of beer competing against each other, like we do. For example, Wheat Ales shouldn’t be competing against India Pale Ales, and IPAs shouldn’t be competing against Pilsners, etc.

But see, we don’t give a rat’s patoot about all that. We’re only interested in knowing which beer we determine to be our favorite by dual consensus. (Bear in mind that I might like one beer better’n Nappy does and vice versa. But what we’re seeking to find is the one beer that he and I seem to most agree upon.)

Since Nappy and I both prefer the lighter ales to the darker brews like porters and stouts, we will be testing what we like and ignoring the dark beers.

There are variables to consider - the temperature of the beer (the second round is usually slightly warmer than the first round was), the mood we’re in at the time, et al. - and it’z all relative, but we believe that when the suds have settled, the truth will win out. Already the “blind” tasting aspect of these tests has provided us with some real surprises.

“LET THE BEER BATTLES BEGIN!”

(Or, “Nappy And Stephen Sacrifice Their Livers In A Search For Truth”)

Here’s what we have so far, as we whittle down the competition to find which beer “hops to the top” :

TEST #1: AUGUST, 2011

Post-Test Post-it Note:

Our first Blind Beer Taste Test took place in August of 2011. Unfortunately, I did not save my notes because I did not know this experiment would result in continued competitions and a ‘Ferret-Faced Fascist Friends’ blog bit. But I can tell you that at least six beers were tested at once and Prescott Brewing Company’s ‘PONDEROSA INDIA PALE ALE’ [hereafter to be indicated by the initials IPA] easily beat out the other competitors.

TEST #2: SEPTEMBER, 2011

Bell’s Brewery, ‘TWO-HEARTED ALE’

Nappy:

Round 1 = B. Round 2 = B

Stephen:

Round 1 = B. Round 2 = B

Total = 28 points.

World Brews, ‘DOUBLE TAKE IPA’

Nappy:

Round 1 = B. Round 2 = B

Stephen:

Round 1 = B-. Round 2 = B

Total = 27 points.

Prescott Brewing Company, ‘PONDEROSA IPA’

Nappy:

Round 1 = B+. Round 2 = B+

Stephen:

Round 1 = B+. Round 2 = B+

Total = 32 points.

Post-Test Post-it Note:

Despite its huge reputation as a major player, ‘TWO-HEARTED ALE’ was easily beaten by ‘PONDEROSA IPA’, a little known ale from tiny Prescott, Airheadzona. This is now the second Blind Beer Taste Test that ‘PONDEROSA IPA’ has convincingly won. It surely deserves to move on and face other major players in the field.

TEST #3: APRIL, 2012

Stone Brewing Co., ‘STONE IPA’

Nappy:

Round 1 = B. Round 2 = B+

Stephen:

Round 1 = B+. Round 2 = B

Total = 30 points

Odell Brewing Co., ‘ODELL RED ALE’

Nappy:

Round 1 = B. Round 2 = B

Stephen:

Round 1 = B-. Round 2 = B+

Total = 28 points

Deschutes Brewing Co., ‘RED CHAIR NWPA’

Nappy:

Round 1 = B+. Round 2 = B

Stephen:

Round 1 = B-. Round 2 = B

Total = 28 points

Mudshark Brewing Co., ‘DESERT MAGIC IPA’

Nappy:

Round 1 = B. Round 2 = B-

Stephen:

Round 1 = B. Round 2 = B

Total = 27 points

Lagunitas Brewing Co., ‘LITTLE SUMPIN’ ALE’

Nappy:

Round 1 = B. Round 2 = B+

Stephen:

Round 1 = A-. Round 2 = A-

Total = 33 points

Sierra Nevada Brewing Co., ‘TORPEDO EXTRA IPA’

Nappy:

Round 1 = B. Round 2 = B+

Stephen:

Round 1 = B-. Round 2 = B+

Total = 29 points

Sierra Nevada Brewing Co., ‘RUTHLESS RYE’

Nappy:

Round 1 = B+. Round 2 = B+

Stephen:

Round 1 = B. Round 2 = B

Total = 30 points

Prescott Brewing Co., ‘PONDEROSA IPA’

Nappy:

Round 1 = B-. Round 2 = B

Stephen:

Round 1 = B-. Round 2 = A-

Total = 28 points

Post-Test Post-it Note:

This Blind Beer Taste Test was unusual for three reasons. First, Nappy and I tested 8 beers all at once, and we both agreed that it was taste-bud-overload. From now on, we will grade no more than 4 beers per test.

Second, in Round 1, the beers were definitely too warm, which undoubtedly skewed their grades downward. Of course, the conditions were the same for all of them, but some beers seemed to have been more adversely affected by it.

Third, neither Nappy or I was in a beer-drinking mood when we tested these brews, so that too probably hurt all of them to some degree.

Clearly the 3 big winners in this test were Lagunitas LITTLE SUMPIN’ ALE (33 points, so far, the most ever scored in a test), STONE IPA, and RUTHLESS RYE.

Here are some surprises: Nappy has always been of the opinion that he doesn’t care for wheat ales. Well, look at his grades for LITTLE SUMPIN’ – a wheat ale – and tell that to his taste buds! Also, for some time now, we were both under the impression that I liked RUTHLESS RYE better than Nappy did. Look at our grades and see who REALLY likes it better!

Because PONDEROSA IPA had won its previous two competitions and because its grades jumped upward considerably after it had been properly chilled, I made an executive decision to advance it to another taste test despite scoring only 28 points in this one. It surely deserves the benefit of the doubt.

Sierra Nevada’s TORPEDO EXTRA IPA also scored noticeably higher in the second round, when it was colder, so we will move that one to another competition as well.

And finally, because I have believed for awhile that ODELL’S RED ALE is one of my very favorite brews, and because I graded it considerably higher in the second round when it was properly chilled, I have decided to also give it one more chance in a future taste test. (Besides that, I’ll admit that there are 3 beers I’m kind of rooting for in the same way a person might root for a favorite sports team. They are ODELL RED ALE, PONDEROSA IPA, and Sierra Nevada SUMMERFEST.)

TEST #4: APRIL, 2012

Sierra Nevada Brewing Co., ‘RUTHLESS RYE’

Nappy:

Round 1 = B+. Round 2 = B

Stephen:

Round 1 = B. Round 2 = B+

Total = 30 points

Big Sky Brewing Co., ‘BIG SKY IPA’

Nappy:

Round 1 = B+. Round 2 = B+

Stephen:

Round 1 = B+. Round 2 = B+

Total = 32 points

BridgePort Brewing Co., ‘BRIDGEPORT IPA’

Nappy:

Round 1 = A-. Round 2 = B

Stephen:

Round 1 = B+. Round 2 = B

Total = 31 points

Sierra Nevada Brewing Co., ‘SIERRA NEVADA PALE ALE’

Nappy:

Round 1 = B. Round 2 = B

Stephen:

Round 1 = B. Round 2 = B

Total = 28 points

Post-Test Post-it Note:

With 32 points scored, BIG SKY IPA was the big winner and will advance to a future fight. Although BRIDGEPORT IPA and RUTHLESS RYE scored 31 and 30 points respectively – very impressive numbers! – sadly, it’s time to start weeding out some of the fine beers that, good as they are, just can’t keep up with the baddest big dogs in the Beer Battles. And so we say “Goodbye” to those two worthy competitors.

The big surprise in this taste test for Nappy was in discovering that SIERRA NEVADA PALE ALE was clearly outclassed by the competition. For many years, that was his favorite “go-to” beer; he used to drink that brand almost exclusively. But now he’s found that even his own taste buds have shown SIERRA NEVADA PALE ALE to be a poseur when it is in direct competition with other fine craft brews (although 28 points is certainly respectable).

TEST #5: APRIL, 2012

Stone Brewing Co., ‘STONE IPA’

Nappy:

Round 1 = B. Round 2 = B

Stephen:

Round 1 = B+. Round 2 = B+

Total = 30 points

Sierra Nevada Brewing Co., ‘SUMMERFEST’

Nappy:

Round 1 = B-. Round 2 = B-

Stephen:

Round 1 = B+. Round 2 = B+

Total = 28 points

Bear Republic Brewing Co., ‘RACER 5 IPA’

Nappy:

Round 1 = B. Round 2 = B+

Stephen:

Round 1 = B. Round 2 = B

Total = 29 points

Post-Test Post-it Note:

STONE IPA won, scoring 30 points – the same total it scored in Test #3; it’s a consistent winner and will advance to another Beer Battle. We say “Goodbye” to the other two brews. I’m sad to see SUMMERFEST knocked out because, as the grades indicated, I enjoy that one considerably better’n Nappy does. I think it’s a great, lighter-bodied “Mowing The Lawn Beer” with a very distinctive aftertase that really appeals to me. In fact, despite having our eyes closed, in both rounds, Nappy and I were both able to accurately identify SUMMERFEST by its unique aftertase. The only problem was, Nappy doesn’t like that aftertaste nearly as well as I do. So, SUMMERFEST, one of the three “teams” I was especially rooting for has been knocked out of the competition. Oh well, life and beer goes on . . . 

TEST #6: APRIL, 2012

Lagunitas Brewing Co., ‘LITTLE SUMPIN’ ALE’

Nappy:

Round 1 = B+. Round 2 = B+

Stephen:

Round 1 = B+. Round 2 = A-

Total = 33 points

Odell Brewing Co., ‘ODELL RED ALE’

Nappy:

Round 1 = B+. Round 2 = B+

Stephen:

Round 1 = A. Round 2 = A-

Total = 35 points

Sierra Nevada Brewing Co., ‘TORPEDO EXTRA IPA’

Nappy:

Round 1 = A-. Round 2 = B+

Stephen:

Round 1 = B. Round 2 = B

Total = 31 points

Oregon Brewing Co., ‘ROGUE – BRUTAL BITTER ALE’

Nappy:

Round 1 = B. Round 2 = B+

Stephen:

Round 1 = B. Round 2 = B-

Total = 28 points

Post-Test Post-it Note:

Hokey-Smoke, was I ever vindicated! I felt certain that the ODELL RED ALE had suffered more than most in Test #3 when the beers were taste-tested too warm in round 1. And sure enough, this time, when it was tested properly chilled, it scored the highest total to date: a whopping 35 points! LITTLE SUMPIN’ ALE is consistenly excellent, scoring 33 points for the second time, giving it 66, the highest point total in two tests combined. Both of those beers will advance.

The BRUTAL BITTER ALE was clearly out of its league here. In fact, in round 1, I expressed a dislike for the aftertaste of one of the beers; in round 2 I said again that I didn’t like the aftertaste of one of them. Guess what! In BOTH instances, the beer I had blindly sipped from and said I didn't like the aftertaste of it was BRUTAL BITTER ALE. This proves that the taste buds don’t lie when they can’t see what they’re sipping.

And unfortunately for Nappy, who seems to be a big fan of the TORPEDO EXTRA IPA, my lower grades have knocked it out of the competition.

A new Blind Beer Taste Test is scheduled for tonight – May 1, 2012 – when Nappy gets home from work, and I will update this blog bit with the results before I go to bed. Tonight’s Beer Battle should be a good one between ROGUE DEAD GUY ALE, Boulder, Colorado’s MOJO IPA, Green Flash Brewing Company’s WEST COAST IPA, and PONDEROSA IPA.

I fear this may spell the end for team PONDEROSA because WEST COAST IPA is a monstrous brew of epic reputation! I was first made aware of it by Bartender George at the Townhouse Bar in Venice Beach, California, and having consumed a couple bottles of it in the past, I don’t believe it’s overrated (but we’ll leave that for my blinded taste buds to confirm). And so we may be saying “Goodbye” to PONDEROSA IPA after tonight... but then again, these Beer Battles have taught me never to count the underdogs out. In those immortal words of Yogi Berra: “It ain’t over ‘til it’s over.” “It ain’t over ‘til the aftertaste is graded.”

I’ll close for now by stealing a line from those ‘Beer In The Shower’ boys: “Cheers and stay classy, friends.”

TEST #7: MAY, 2012
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Prescott Brewing Co., 'PONDEROSA IPA'
Nappy:
Round 1 = A-. Round 2 = B+
Stephen:
Round 1 = B+. Round 2 = A-
Total = 34 points
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Green Flash Brewing Co., 'WEST COAST IPA'
Nappy:
Round 1 = A-. Round 2 = B+
Stephen:
Round 1 = B-. Round 2 = A-
Total = 32 points
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Oregon Brewing Co., 'ROGUE - DEAD GUY ALE'
Nappy:
Round 1 = B. Round 2 = B
Stephen:
Round 1 = B. Round 2 = B
Total = 28 points
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Boulder Beer Co., 'MOJO IPA'
Nappy: 
Round 1 = B+. Round 2 = A-
Stephen:
Round 1 = B. Round 2 = B-
Total = 30 points
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Post-Test Post-it Note:
Well, despite the fact that Nappy and I both hate Arizona and almost everything associated with it, it has now been firmly established that PONDEROSA IPA is no pretender! No way did I think it could best WEST COAST IPA in this Beer Battle. Nevertheless, both beers will advance to future contests.
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Surprises: I am baffled, befuddled and bewildered, and it is hard for me to fathom the discrepancy between my round 1 and round 2 grades for WEST COAST IPA. The truth is, this is an exceedingly exceptional beer, I KNOW THAT for a fact. My B- assessment in round 1? Fuhgeddaboudit!
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Here's the gig: When a beer is too cold, you lose some of the flavor complexity while tasting it. And when it is too warm, it can just taste yucky, no matter how good it REALLY is. There is an optimal temperature for beer tasting, but that temperature can vary from beer to beer and person to person.
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Somehow, in round 1, when WEST COAST IPA was coldest, I apparently didn't care for it all that much. But in round 2, when it was undoubtedly a few degrees warmer, I fell for it big time. When all of the suds have settled, I won't be a bit surprised if WEST COAST IPA wins this whole thang.
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Beforehand, Nappy and I both figured that ROGUE - DEAD GUY ALE was going to get wiped out. And it did. The beers that really make a great impression have either a strong, bitter hop bite up front, or a very distinctive aftertaste. (And, obviously, da best o' da best have BOTH!) Nappy and I already knew that DEAD GUY ALE was a decent brew but it had nothing taste-wise to distinguish it from many other solid but unremarkable craft beers.
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Nappy had never tasted MOJO IPA before, but I had. I liked it, but I figured it would be over its head in this contest. However, the scores indicate that Nappy liked it A LOT! In round 2, when it was slightly warmer, I complained of a kind of "metallic-like" aftertaste. If your taste buds are more like Nappy's, you should certainly seek it and try it. It makes me sad to say "Goodbye" to an ale that scores a full 30 points, but we need to eliminate some of these brewskis from the contestski.
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Check in again this coming weekend when Nappy and I will be conducting Blind Beer Taste Tests of DOGFISH HEAD IPA; ODELL IPA; Lagunitas HOP STOOPID; MIRROR POND IPA; ANCHOR STEAM BEER; Anderson Valley HOP OTTIN' IPA; and, thanks to a comment from the 'Beer In The Shower' Boys, Colorado's HAZED & INFUSED.
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Yak Later, Hop Heads . . .


Read Part 2 by clicking HERE. 
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Link:

I DON’T ALWAYS DRINK URINE, BUT WHEN I DO, I PREFER DOS EQUIS

~ Stephen T. McCarthy

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