It's my belief that the four things under my bed constitutes the world's best home protection system and is solely responsible for my sweet sleep and pleasant dreams:
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4-Cell MAG-LITE manufactured by Mag Instrument in Ontario, California. It helps you to locate the intruder in the dark. Also doubles as a heavy noggin-basher.
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A fully loaded Noisemaker manufactured by my good friends Smith & Wesson.
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The Holy Bible manufactured by The Prophets Of God, Unlimited. Sleep is always sweeter when you're resting on The Word Of God.
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~ meme by D-FensDogG
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Last but not least, Killer Dust Bunnies manufactured by... my laziness and poor housekeeping. If you're a bad guy and the first three things don't get you, the fourth one will.
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~ Stephen T. McCarthy
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Your flashlight, gun, and Bible may be bigger n mine. But you're not even in my league with the dust bunnies.
ReplyDeleteIn that case... you win.
DeleteI won't be perpetrating a home invasion at your place any time soon.
~ D-FensDogG
[Link:) Stephen T. McCarthy Reviews...
I've never owned a gun in my life and likely never will. I've got nothing against gun ownership and I'd say most of my friends own one and in many cases more than one gun. It was just upbringing I guess. My father and to my knowledge my grandparents didn't own guns either. If I did have a gun I'd probably shoot my eye out.
ReplyDeleteBibles on the other hand are all over the place in our house. Between my wife and I we've got at least 4 Bibles in two different languages near our bedsides alone. Then there are a number of Bibles scattered throughout the house. Always someplace to reference the Bible at easy access.
I guess if an intruder ever did break in our house I could always throw a Bible at him and then let God take it from there.
Arlee Bird
Tossing It Out
Yeah, don't shoot yer eye out, kid. Your mom, your teacher, Santa Claus... how many people gotta tell ya that before you take it to heart?
DeleteI have multiple Bibles in various translations as well, but my favorite is the one pictured above. Aside from being, I believe, the most accurate translation of God's Word into English, it's also my biggest and heaviest one, so it would make a pretty good impression on the head of Boris Badenov and Snidely Whiplash.
~ D-FensDogG
[Link:) Stephen T. McCarthy Reviews...
Don't forget the dog.
ReplyDeleteNo dog needed when you have Killer Dust Bunnies. Plus, Killer Dust Bunnies require no feeding, no waking, and no lettin' out to pee on the tree.
Delete~ D-FensDogG
[Link:) Stephen T. McCarthy Reviews...
when I was much younger, one of my first roommates had a Colt .45. One of our friends asked her why she had one, if she was afraid of an intruder. Her response - Nope. Just making sure my date doesn't leave sooner than he should.
ReplyDeleteI keep my bible on my phone. That way I never forget to take it to church with me, and it's always by my side. Sometimes, I even read it.
The flashlight can do quite a bit of damage if used properly. But if I really want to give my intruder a startle - I'll just put the light under my chin and let the glow off of my ugly mug haunt them forever in the dark.
The problem with dust bunnies, is that they tend to gather, and sometimes I think they have a greater plan to take over.
~M
HA! Funny comment, MARY!
DeleteYep, my flashlight contains more heavy metal than most cars being built today. It's the professional Police-grade type and can get the same results as Misters Smith & Wesson, just not quite as quickly.
Wow! Sometimes you even read that Bible? Mine is just there because it is yet another very heavy object to smack someone with. It had never actually occurred to me to read it before. I may try that someday if my DVD player ever quits on me and the liquor stores run out of product.
Yes, Dust Bunnies tend to breed like rabbits and that can be a bit disconcerting when the gang grows to nerve-wracking proportions. That's why every so often I shoot some of them with Misters Smith & Wesson, just to reduce the gang to a safer size.
Killer Dust Bunnies are a bit like Pit Bulls in that you can never be certain they won't one day turn on you.
~ D-FensDogG
[Link:) Stephen T. McCarthy Reviews...