Friday, September 11, 2009

FERRET-FACED FASCIST FRIENDS: New Name But Same Political Incorrectness (Blog Bit #88)

*This Blog Bit Is Dedicated To Joan M. Padilla.*

It was eight years ago today that the World Trade Center towers in New York were destroyed. Eight is a very spiritual number, if one puts any credence in Gematria. Eight represents a “new beginning”, just as the eighth note (Do) in the musical scale is the octave which begins a new scale. On the eighth day, an unclean priest is renewed (Ezekiel 44), and on the eighth 1,000-year “day” of The Lord, “this world” will disappear for the arrival of The New Jerusalem – an infinite, spiritual, Divine Kingdom (Revelation 21). And the number 8 turned on its side symbolizes infinity itself.

When the WTC towers fell 8 years ago, it represented something new for this country, too. With the Towers’ demise we got the Department of Homeland Security whose authority to secure our safety has further eroded our constitutionally safeguarded protections against tyranny. I’m not going to go into the myriad ways our Bill Of Rights has been eroded in the last 8 years because that’s not the point of this Blog Bit.

The point is that I have selected this infamous day in which to alter the name of this Blog. To begin again. What was once ‘Xtremely Un-P.C. And Unrepentant’ is now the xtremely un-P.C. and unrepentant ‘Ferret-Faced Fascist Friends.’

Why the name change? Well, why did Bob Dylan go electric? Why did George Benson go commercial? Why did Jesus Christ go to the Sea Of Galilee? Answer these questions and you’ll also have the answers to why ‘Xtremely Un-P.C. And Unrepentant’ went to ‘Ferret-Faced Fascist Friends.’ (Pssst: It has nothing to do with a two-headed dog going to work in the Kremlin. But that’s the only clue I’m gonna give ya.)

But fear not, my two readers, the tone and attitude of this Blog will not change! Juliet said, “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose, by any other name, would smell as sweet.” What’s in a name indeed. That which we call antifederalism, by any other name, would smell as politically incorrect.

Only the name has changed. I promise you that the new name does not indicate a kinder, gentler Blog. I even chose to retain the same URL as a reminder of this Blog’s inglorious past (and so as not to inconvenience either of you). Otherwise, the rant remains the same. I still loathe the Communistic Democrats and their equally fascistic neoconservative counterparts, the Republicans:

Surely, you don’t need me to inform you that no modern nation has ever truly tried Communism; that no so-called communist state has ever progressed beyond the dictatorship stage, and none ever will. The Democrats are too stupid, too illogical to realize that in reality, socialism will always equate to oligarchy at best and dictatorship at worst. And the Republicans are too stupid to realize that what passes for conservatism today is really nothing more than corporatism at best and Cheneyism at worst. (Cheneyism? That’s when a Dick guides an Evil Empire.) Regardless, what you’ll always end up with is some form of fascism with endless warfare. Stick that in your colostomy bag and smoke it!

The form of government that we here at ‘FERRET-FACED FASCIST FRIENDS’ believe should be established in the United States of America is a Constitutional Republic. We already have a constitution, so we propose that the country simply USE IT! Abide by it. Trust it. Protect it. “All we are saying is give the Constitution a chance.”

We at ‘Ferret-Faced Fascist Friends’ (“we” meaning “me” – this Blog is a dictatorship) support nonviolent revolution. We would like to see colonial stocks and pillories constructed in front of the White House and the Capitol Building, and we would like to see those stocks and pillories FULL, 24/7. With a five-month-long waiting list! And we want all the rotten fruit Americans can throw provided free by the Ford, Carnegie, and Rockefeller Foundations – let those foundation boys eat fruit! Let ‘em have their rotten fruit and eat it, too!

We at ‘Ferret-Faced Fascist Friends’ recognize that the biggest problem facing the United States of America today is the existence of The Federal Reserve System. The Fed MUST be abolished in order to free this country from slavery! (See plank #5 in the Retardo Karlo Commie Manifesto.) The I.R.S. is an evil, M-F’ing Marxist mechanism that must also be put down like a mad mongrel. (See plank #2 in the Retardo Karlo Commie Manifesto.) We recommend that these changes be made in an orderly, nonviolent way, otherwise some good, patriotic Americans would have to clean up that bloody mess, and it wouldn’t be fair to them.

We at ‘Ferret-Faced Fascist Friends’ believe that America’s Second Amendment right must be protected, and any S.O.B. attempting to rob Americans of their Second Amendment right should get two barrels full of that right, right in the butt. We KNOW that there is a conspiracy afoot to undermine our national sovereignty and replace it with a Socialistic Global Government. We call anyone who can’t discern this conspiracy a “schmo”, but we’re willing to work wid da schmoes. We welcome and reply to all non-ad hominem comments. Debate is good when we win, and all debate is good. ;o)

We at ‘Ferret-Faced Fascist Friends’ want to see USAP’s birth certificate before he reads one more word from his teleprompter. We want to see children well educated, which means getting Uncle Sam out of the brainwashing business. We want to see the Americonned People wise up, which means restricting television programming to The Andy Griffith Show during the week and Frasier on the weekends, so that We The People will be forced to read books, books, and mo’ books. We want to see the Feminists placed in stocks and pillories right alongside men as a symbol of equality. We want to see Coca-Cola dispensed from all school drinking fountains and gin dispensed from all non-school drinking fountains. (Yes, children will be bouncing off the walls, but they’ll be happy. And we’ll be happy, too - too happy to notice the children bouncing off the walls.)

We at ‘Ferret-Faced Fascist Friends’ believe that humor is good medicine. We believe the American Medical Association, the Food and Drug Administration, and the American Cancer Society practice bad medicine. We believe our borders should be protected to keep out illegal immigrants, potential terrorists, and foreigners like Barack Obama. We know that God and Jesus live and love us, and that Rock ‘N’ Roll is here to stay (although John “Lenin” is gone - Boo-Hoo, Toodle-oo!) As I think of more things that we here at ‘Ferret-Faced Fascist Friends’ believe and want, I’ll let you know – after all, that’s what a Blog is for.

In closing, I want to make it clear that ‘FERRET-FACED FASCIST FRIENDS’ (F-F F F) is simply a shortened way of saying “FOUNDING FATHERS FANS FERVENTLY FIGHTING FOR FREEDOM.” Ferret-Faced Fascist Friends is a fraternity of like-minded patriots dedicated to the restoration of our Republic. We welcome men and women, boys and girls, supermodels and supermodels. Upon entering here, please load your weapon, check your cell phone at the door, and try not to piss me off.

*Special thanks to Joan M. Padilla for inspiring this “ferret-faced fascist” to rename his Blog.*

Xtremely un-P.C. and unrepentant Doggtor of Alcohology, King of Inebriation Nation, and Ferret-Faced Fascist Founder of the new 'Loyal American Underground' movement.


  1. Alliteration is almost always awesome. And four F's in one frase is, frankly, freaky.



All submitted comments that do not transgress "Ye Olde Comment Policy" will be posted and responded to as soon as possible. Thanks for taking the time to comment.