Tuesday, October 20, 2009


A dear Pal of mine sent me a link to this YouTube video along with a note saying, “Hopefully, you have never been this drunk.”

Actually, I probably have been, but fortunately for me, I slept through it. This poor bloke’s biggest problem was that he was still (sort of) upright and still (kind of) conscious long after most dudes in his condition have passed out.

If you can overlook the sadness of the whole affair, this might just be the funniest four minutes you’ve ever seen. (I was laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes . . . and a sudden urge to visit the restroom.)

The video gets stuck a couple of times – the first time for 17 seconds – but just be patient and it will begin moving again.

Remember the Thunderbirds television series of the mid-1960s? I used to watch it when I was a little boy. It was a futuristic show about this astronaut dude and his five sons who run around rescuing people. All of the characters in the show were marionettes.

I remember one morning in the very early 1980s, my buddy Cranium told me he knew I was heavily intoxicated the night before when he saw me enter the house “doing the Thunderbird walk.” The puppets in the Thunderbirds show all have this exaggerated motion when they walk because the limbs are all being operated by independent strings.

Well, when the guy in this video comes through the front door of the convenience market, he has got a case of “The Thunderbird Walk.” See if it doesn’t seem like his arms and legs are being independently operated by a drunken puppeteer:

Click Here:
‘Drunkest Guy Ever Goes For More Beer’ Video

Doggtor of Alcohology and (former) King of
Inebriation Nation


  1. That was way too funny. But are we sure that maybe this guy doesn't have one of those degenerative muscular diseases or something? Maybe we should't be laughing. Okay, probably not, he was probably real drunk and it did look mighty funny. Actually, that looked like one of my friends back in Tennessee. Well, maybe one of my friend's kids.

  2. rLEE-b ~
    This poor guy - all he really needed was just one more beer and everything would have been fine.

    Well, if he's suffering from some degenerative muscular disease then I owe him an apology. But I highly doubt it. I know that Thunderbird Walk too well; have seen it too often and have even walked The Walk myself more than once.

    Let's see . . . I recall walking down a gentle hill one night when my momentum carried me forward and I hit the asphalt and went skidding down the middle of the street. I recall riding a bicycle into the back end of a parked car (it suddenly jumped out in front of me, I swear it!) and flying over the handlebars to roll across the trunk and land in the street like Tony Baretta made out of rubber. And I remember one night taking a tumble going down the front steps of a bowling alley, doing a head-first somersault to the bottom, all the while extending my right arm out to my side in an attempt to save my gin and tonic. In each instance I was (like the guy in this video) way too drunk to get injured.

    The main difference between this bloke and myself, however, is that I was always able to pick myself up off the ground afterwards, unassisted. Personally, I feel that’s the thing which really indicates when a person has had one too many: if you fall and you can’t get back up again, you’re probably done for the night. Or for a few hours anyway.

    (Of course, you realize I’m discussing my ANCIENT past. My serious drinking daze are well behind me.)

    You know, Buddy, there’s nothing funny about this “stuffs” – it’s all pretty sad . . .

    So how come I’m still laughing?

    ~ Stephen
    <"As a dog returns to his own vomit,
    so a drunk goes back to the liquor store."
    ~ McCarthyisms 26:11>

  3. Hmmm-

    Do you think old Mrs Fletcher in those old LifeAlert commercials ("I've fallen and I can't get up) was actually drunk and her problem had nothing to do with being old.

  4. rLEE-b, you may be on to something there. And here we were feeling sorry for her.
    ~ Stephen, Doggtor of Alcohology

  5. The guy is definitely not drunk. He is on drugs. I had a friend in college who loved those kinds of drugs that make you lose control of your body. She came home one night waving her arm in the air saying "look...look...I can't stop moving my arm!". That guy is on drugs for sure! Missed depth perception is another giveaway. And that's why the first guy to comment is not wrong. He is acting retarded because the drugs make you temporarily retarded! Though agreed. I laughed, but then also had this guilty feeling of how sad and pathetic it was.

  6. BTW. I read your review of We Hold These Truths.

  7. He's probably trying to drink away his pain. I don't know. I've seen that walk one too many times. mostly by my family who are 99% alcohol themselves. I've seen people with degenerative disorders in my line of work. They usually walk with an assisted device (this guy doesn't have one) and I've never seen them jones for alcohol like this guy. I've worked with plenty of drunks during detox. This guy definately needs to sign up. Been around drunks my entire childhood and now in my professional life. This guy is intoxicated. He might have a mental disorder. A lot of alcoholics self medicate for undiagnosed bipolar disorder and depression. Still, I couldn't help but laugh. It's sad, yet, knee slappin funny. I hope the guy gets some help. We should pray for him after we stop laughing our back sides off.

  8. ANGELA ~
    Thanks for your comment. I am assuming that it was also you who posted above under the name "Anonymous."

    Actually, I think I am somewhat in agreement with you. I didn't post this yesterday but I was thinking about it: The guy might be under the influence of BOTH alcohol and some sort of medication - perhaps even a legally prescribed medication. You know how some medications caution against mixing them with alcohol?

    I got to wondering if perhaps he'd had a bad reaction after drinking beer (or something) on top of some sort of pill(s). I've been plenty drunk many times in my youth, but never quite to that point. However, the lack of depth perception is definitely something that can occur as a result of being heavily intoxicated also - I know what it's like to reach for a door handle and miss it more than once, etc.

    So, yes, Angela, in the final analysis, I think you're right that the guy is on some sort of drug (legal? illegal?), but I also think this probably wasn't going to be his first drink of the day (if he had been able to get out the store with it).

    I guess it's a testament to our lingering humanity that everyone who has posted here has admitted to laughing but with a slightly guilty conscience. (Maybe there's hope for us yet, eh? Ha!)

    As for "WE HOLD THESE TRUTHS" . . .
    I know that review is posted at Amazon.com but I can no longer recall whether or not I've also posted it somewhere on this Blog. Where did you read it? And your thoughts (if you wish to share them)? Are you thinking of getting a copy of it? I can make other (even superior) recommendations if you'd like.

    Anyway, thanks again for your comment, Angela.

    ~ Stephen
    <"As a dog returns to his own vomit,
    so a drunk goes back to the liquor store."
    ~ McCarthyisms 26:11>

  9. >>[We should pray for him after we stop laughing our back sides off.]<<

    Well said, BR'ER MARC. Spoken like a true man of God in possession of a funny bone.

    ~ "Lonesome Dogg" McME


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