[*Maybe there was a reason for that, ya think?*]
So here it is again, back by no demand:
Recently I was describing my religious viewpoint which is an amalgamation that entails a belief in and/or acceptance of 58.33% Christianity; Bad Dreams; two and a half buckets full of Buddhism things; foundational Winnie-The-Poohism with strings; an old, lonely dog’s howl at the moon; a mellow Karen Carpenter tune; a baker’s dozen of Bobs Watson’s tears; and six cold Sierra Nevada beers.
Put it all together and what have you got? I dunno, but I’ll bet that 666,000 fools would drop money in it if I passed the collection plate, and they would follow me in if I jumped in a lake. Bah-Bah-Bad Sheep, have you any brains? “No, Pastor Stephen, dey’s washed out by da rains!”
Sorry. I got carried away.
I purchased this cheap cardboard sign in Virginia City, Nevada, back about... uhm... well, back when I bought it. I don’t know who came up with these definitions for various religions, as they are uncredited. I therefore suspect that the writer is that famous Greek philosopher Anonymous, who seems to have written more good stuffs than any other single literary giant, including that brilliant but alcoholic English pub hound, Shakyspear.
THE SHORT GUIDE TO COMPARATIVE RELIGION
Knock!-Knock! Sh!t Happens.
Sh!t Happens because you’re bad.
Sh!t Happens because you don’t work hard enough.
If Sh!t Happens, it’s the will of allah.
Maybe Sh!t Happens, maybe it doesn’t.
Why does this Sh!t always Happen to us?
If Sh!t really Happens, it’s not really Sh!t.
This Sh!t Happened before.
The Sh!t only Happens in your mind.
There’s nothing like a good Sh!t Happening.
What is this Sh!t anyway?
This Sh!t doesn’t bother me.
Send more Sh!t.
Let’s smoke this Sh!t.
Sh!t Happens, but my wives and I are prepared for it.
Meatless Sh!t Happens.
I am one with the Sh!t that Happens.
I sincerely hope that I didn’t offend anyone with this comparative religion guide - I certainly didn’t mean to.
No, really! I mean, had I wanted to offend anyone – namely Muslims – I would have posted my own “Sh!tism” for Islam, rather than posting the one written by Anonymous. Mine would have looked like this:
A lot of people don’t realize that Jesus actually does exist and that one can choose to have a true friendship with Him. I find that Jesus walks in my shoes with me.
~ Stephen T. McCarthy
[*Who can only hope that he’s been “forgiven” for his sinful Sense O’ Humor.*]